chrismuzz Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 So I've been playing bass for my metal cover band for almost 2 years now. It's been a lot of fun, we get on some really awesome gigs to a mostly appreciative audience doing stuff most cover bands would never do... And as an added bonus I get a bit of pocket money at the end of the night (usually £50 each). Problem is, I'm getting bored! And a lot of the recent song choices haven't been fantastic. It's all stuff that would alienate the type of people that would go to see a metal covers band (obscure album tracks rather than the "hits") My girlfriend has been supporting us like crazy since I first met her. She comes to 90% of our gigs, and is always the first one getting up to dance, even encouraging the locals to have a good time. She started singing for an originals band since January, and even from the audience I can tell it's a completely different atmosphere. You get actual music fans for a start! And for some really strange reason, none of the guys in the band or their girlfriends have ever supported her. She's played about 10 gigs so far and they haven't attended one, and (I know this will sound lame), they haven't even "Liked" a single band photo of hers on Facebook, and my vocalist hasn't even "Liked" her band page... To top it off we've got another headline show at The Sugarmill in Stoke next month. I put her band forward as a support to the other guys (because they're fantastic live), and got completely ignored... And instead the singer's girlfriend's cover band is opening (They really really suck!!), and an unknown band from Stafford who won't sell any tickets are main support. Obviously this has all put a sour taste in my mouth. I don't know if it's just "coincidence", if they don't like her, or if they just have a bad attitude about her band? To top it off, the fact that I gig almost every weekend, and work a lot of weekends too. I don't get a lot of quality time to spend with my lady and it does upset her sometimes. Anyway, I'm bloody awful at writing things in a structured way, so if you managed to read all of this without getting brain ache I appreciate that Basically what I'm considering doing is "giving notice" to my current band, honouring all gigs til they find a suitable replacement and doing some originals with some local guys (me and the girlfriend have been talking about doing a band together so that we both get the best of both worlds!) Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Sounds like jealousy to me. Get it together and form a band with your GF, she sounds like she's always up for it. Performing, I mean. Er, in a band, I mean. You know what I mean! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 If the situation with your girlfriends band and the fact that the guys in your band aren`t giving her any support didn`t exist Chris, would you still feel like giving notice on the band? If yes then I`d say walk. If no, then this isn`t really an issue with the band, it`s what the individuals in the band do or don`t do. I`ve been in similar circumstances - am sure we all have - where guys I`ve been in bands with wouldn`t come and see other bands I was in, go to bands that audience members were in, or even socialise with the other band members. That`s up to them how they spend their free time. Got to say though, the obscure album tracks bit would make me want to go - the whole point of a covers band to me is playing really familiar songs to people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subbeh Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 [size=4]Set list could be sorted but partners pulling band members in different directions is only going to end one way [/size] [size=4] .[/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaxyBassist Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I get so fed up with band politics!! I agree with discreet - form a band with your gf! [size=4] [/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Personally not sure why you wouldn't have already have wanted to be in an originals band (or even a cover band) with your girlfriend if you had the option and that she is good. On the other hand, I have been in a similar (non band) situation with both mine and other peoples girlfriends, and it looks very different from the other side. If they are not liking her photos and stuff when they have the option, it could just be that they don't like her, which would make it as awkward for them as you. Either way it sounds like the situation is getting to you and eventually you will get to the her or them situation that always comes up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassBus Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 It sounds quite simple to me, it is time for you to move on from your current band. Give them notice but make it a fixed time not 'until they get a replacement'. That focuses their minds to find a replacement. There sometimes comes a time when it is just time to move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1409494784' post='2540162'] Sounds like jealousy to me. Get it together and form a band with your GF, she sounds like she's always up for it. Performing, I mean. Er, in a band, I mean. You know what I mean! [/quote] Behave yourself But yeah I suggested it was jealousy. The other guys think we're something amazing, whereas I've always been humble about being "just" a cover band. [quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1409494895' post='2540164'] If the situation with your girlfriends band and the fact that the guys in your band aren`t giving her any support didn`t exist Chris, would you still feel like giving notice on the band? [/quote] It certainly adds to it, but I've been kind of losing interest for the last few months. [quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1409494895' post='2540164'] Got to say though, the obscure album tracks bit would make me want to go - the whole point of a covers band to me is playing really familiar songs to people. [/quote] Exactly! [quote name='Woodinblack' timestamp='1409495423' post='2540170'] Personally not sure why you wouldn't have already have wanted to be in an originals band (or even a cover band) with your girlfriend if you had the option and that she is good. [/quote] She'd never sung in a band before she joined her current one. We have been talking about it for a couple of months, and we've got two guitar players interested I'm liking how many of you are telling me to start a band with her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casapete Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Your GF sounds ace - just do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number6 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I could never be in a band with my wife.....the band split would be very acrimonious. Just saying but there is a point to my statement 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 The way I read it is that you are already finished with your covers band ...you just haven't told them yet. Not sure the original route is the way to go as it is tough out there but if you have a nucleus of good ideas then get together in the studio.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 [quote name='Number6' timestamp='1409497393' post='2540190'] I could never be in a band with my wife.....the band split would be very acrimonious. Just saying but there is a point to my statement [/quote] I'm only a bass player, I'm sure if the relationship went tits up she could replace me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 I've met you Chris, on a Basschat Relay baton hand-over. You came across as a steady and thoughtful guy. I don't think you'd be writing this post unless things had got to a sticky position. Time to move on, I think. Best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1409498662' post='2540203'] I'm only a bass player, I'm sure if the relationship went tits up she could replace me [/quote] Conversely, girlfriends are ten a penny... *quickly runs away* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 This is the rule of thumb over here in the USA, and of course I don't speak for everyone. I have concerns about my band and my direction, however this is what all my buddies tell me. [i]"Your in a band with consistent bookings and your making money. A lot of guys are not even gigging , so, consider yourself lucky. Don't quit until something better comes along"[/i] Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
police squad Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 it sounds, to me, that your band thinks that they are important. In my books, no one is that important. It's probably time to move on and let them continue playing album tracks. Give them notice but I would give them 3 months. That way they have to get their fingers out and get it sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamdenRob Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Bands with the GF can be difficult.... Mrs C keeps trying to get me to play in her feminist punk band Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Girlfriend sounds cool. All she has to do now, is buy you a les Paul bass. ( oops ! Wrong thread( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek99 Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 Yep she sounds like a keeper for lots of reasons - be in a band with her and make yourself happy. Give your current band three months to replace you so they have a deadline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tauzero Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 I'm in a band with Mrs Zero. Our most recent gig happened to coincide with our 6th wedding anniversary, which was rather good. It sounds rather as if you're looking for a good solid reason to justify leaving, when actually you just want to leave. Get a new band up and rehearsing and then give the old band notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grangur Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 (edited) Maybe I'm naive here, but when starting an originals band don't you also need good original material to play? You've said nothing about skills in writing good stuff? Playing devils advocate here; are you fed-up of playing covers or are you fed up of playing along on obscure covers with narrow-minded folk who don't seem to want to be a mate outside of the band situation? [quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1409555845' post='2540717'] Bands with the GF can be difficult.... Mrs C keeps trying to get me to play in her feminist punk band [/quote] I'm sure you'd look great in a crop-top and mini-skirt! Edited September 1, 2014 by Grangur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamdenRob Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 [quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1409577507' post='2541046'] I'm sure you'd look great in a crop-top and mini-skirt! [/quote] Whilst I have the figure for the outfit it's the punk part of the proposition I'm not too keen on.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I always thought the point of being in a covers band was just to please the crowd, so the obscure album tracks are a bit weird. However, I saw you at the mill last time and recognised most of the stuff (super tight by the way, you're an amazing player!) If you have original material to work on, do that, but I don't see that this excludes you from staying in the covers band If you don't need the money and could do with the time, just leave the covers band, you're clearly a bit sick of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 I appreciate all the comments I've had on here so far I think the main thing is that it takes up so much of my time, and I seem to enjoy each gig less and less, and I simply miss playing something that's mine. The weirdness between them and my girlfriend certainly adds to it. I've always got on with the guys in the band and I don't understand what they have against her, especially considering she's done more for us than any of the other girlfriends/girl friends of the band! I personally think jealousy is a big factor... Money is always nice, but my job pays me well enough, and I'd rather have a life than a stack of cash that I can't use The suggestions have all been pretty similar here.. My lady has suggested I see it out until my next biggun at The Sugarmill, then make my decision, and if I'm still thinking of leaving I'll give notice from there. I'm sure people will be falling over themselves to join the band anyway since they're some of the most skilled players I've ever worked with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 2, 2014 Author Share Posted September 2, 2014 [quote name='RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE' timestamp='1409570134' post='2540908'] Girlfriend sounds cool. All she has to do now, is buy you a les Paul bass. ( oops ! Wrong thread( [/quote] Haha brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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