3 years, 4 bands, 10 gigs. What now?

[Number6]

There's nothing wrong with pub covers bands as long as they don't use music stands.....

😊

[discreet]

[quote name='Number6' timestamp='1425047973' post='2703385']
There's nothing wrong with pub covers bands as long as they don't use music stands...
[/quote]

...Or do [i]All Right Now[/i], [i]500 Miles[/i] or [i]Mustang Sally[/i].

Edited February 27, 2015 by discreet

[solo4652]

@Huge Hands

Band 1; Singer sacked by band leader (not me) for using drugs and being unreliable.
Band 2; Drummer grew frustrated with singer and left. So did I.
Band 3; Singer not pulling in the same direction as rest of band. She left to do what she wanted, and I genuinely wished her well.
Band 4; All going well until singer's domestic situation unravelled suddenly, sadly.

Sure, I'm upset about some of the "humorous" personal comments within this thread, yours included, because I think they're ill-informed and needlessly personal. I asked for help and many people have offered it, and that's great. Not everybody has been so inclined.


Steve

[Huge Hands]

Hi Steve,

I wasn't trying to be humorous, I was being straight.

My comments were - if you're putting something up on the web, you're bound to get some daft, irrelevant, and annoying answers. If you're going to jump and get upset at them because they're pointing out something you might not want to hear, then how do you expect to get on in a band full of differing personalities and opinions?

Maybe you are rosier than roses and never upset someone, but maybe you do have a part to play too. Did you ever sit down and try and help or encourage the singers?

I just agreed with RolandRock who said something which was fair comment (especially as said in humour) on your OP and you got all stroppy about it - and now with me.

If you want my full opinion - what you're moaning about is a fact of life with many bands - especially those who don't have guaranteed paid gigs waiting. It has often happened to me. In some cases, it had nothing to do with me, in other cases, I had to step back and think "I could have handled that better". It's just like dating!
I was in my dream band for a couple of years but the singer had to leave due to other projects and work - and then others took this as a cue to leave too. Not my fault at all, but I could see why they chose to do it. Since then, the remnants of the band have sputtered and stalled in creating something new.
It sucks, but we'll get there eventually, and compromises often have to be made. I'm now playing in a band where I don't fully enjoy the genre of music, but I'm doing it to keep playing and get gigs.

In my experience, whingeing that "it's not my fault" doesn't get you anywhere. Actually getting up off your a**e and organising it (i.e. don't give up when singer no 1 left your own band just because she wasn't right) is probably the only way you can get what you want, and you can probably also play the over--sensitive lack of humour man as much as you want because it's your band.

Anyway, before you start - Yes, I probably don't understand your situation. I probably don't. I'm sure you'll get there like we all hope to.

Edited February 27, 2015 by Huge Hands

[skankdelvar]

A common denominator between all the bands I've been in is me. As it presumably is for anyone who's been in more than one band.

Anyway, the culprits are - as ever - easy to spot. It's the singists. Evil bastards and rotten to the core, every manjack of them spawned from Satan's hindquarters with a music stand in one hand and a bad attitude in the other.

Prancing around with a supercilious grin on their faces and crying: 'Look at me, I'm the Queen Of The Spring! I'm lovely' and booking Sunday gigs in Harvester restaurants and you say 'But we play metal!' and they say 'So I might have lied to the manager and said we're a childrens' party band, we can set up just by the pit that's got all the coloured balls in it. Do you know the chords to "The Runaway Train" ?'

The solution is easy. Dump the idea of singers and just do surf instrumentals. Happy to help, no need to thank me.

Edited February 27, 2015 by skankdelvar

[TimR]

[quote name='Huge Hands' timestamp='1425049974' post='2703431']
Hi Steve,

I wasn't trying to be humorous, I was being straight.

...
[/quote]

I think you might be jumping to conclusions. The singers left and the first two bands folded.

We've all been in similar situations. Sometimes band dynamics just don't work. Putting the blame on one person is a bit of a red herring.

Anyway the last singer left for personal reasons. Allegedly.

[Lord Sausage]

Wasn't this a film starring Hugh Grant?

[solo4652]

@TimR, post 57.

Exactly.

Edited February 27, 2015 by solo4652

[steantval]

Were all four bands singers female?

[solo4652]

Yes.

[taunton-hobbit]

.........aah..........

Anyone wanna play?

(sorry, but it's beginning now to add up in Hobbit Land)

(bet I get told off)

[stingrayPete1977]

[quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1425050418' post='2703439']
A common denominator between all the bands I've been in is me. As it presumably is for anyone who's been in more than one band.

[/quote]

I've been in quite a few bands but you weren't in any of them (afaik?), maybe I've just been lucky, lol

[steantval]

[quote name='solo4652' timestamp='1425061053' post='2703574']
Yes.
[/quote]

Without appearing to be sexist, that's most probably the common denominator.

Myself and the other two guys in our band have all had bad previous experiences with female vocalists, maybe we were just unlucky like you.

[Norris]

/popcorn at the ready

[phil.c60]

Sorry, Solo, but here's my 2p: The folks that post on this forum clearly do so because they enjoy it, as well as because they think they [u]may[/u] have something valuable (or not, value is always subjective) to offer. Enjoyment is often linked with humour (it is with the people I [s]inflict myself on[/s] mix with), the humour is rarely meant to be offensive (but it can be sharp: always my favourite kind especially when I'm the subject. If you can't take it....). I don't think the original post that got you all lathered up was meant to be anything but a bit of teasing, and we usually tease hardest the people we know well or think may be like minded. If he was wrong about the second I'm sure he's sorry for not appreciating how sensitive you are. But, to pinch a bit of your shorthand ffs lighten up. Take the joke. Please. Who knows, if you had responded to it with a bit of humour of your own perhaps something more valuable (whoops, there's that word again) might have been forthcoming. Just saying. I appreciate, by the way, that my opinion is probably worthless. And a bit humourless, on this occasion.

[skankdelvar]

[quote name='stingrayPete1977' timestamp='1425062765' post='2703604']
I've been in quite a few bands but you weren't in any of them (afaik?), maybe I've just been lucky, lol
[/quote]

Not [i]that[/i] lucky.

Remember that band you were in one time with a lady singer who had - er- stubble that you used to wonder about and you got the hump in rehearsal when she asked you to simplify your lines a bit and there was a big shouting match between the two of you and halfway through you realised that you had a half-lob and it all ended up in a hotel room and when she whipped 'em off you realised 'she' was a 'he' but it didn't matter anyway by that stage.

Well, that was xilldx. I've never been in a band with you.

[Number6]

[quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1425072278' post='2703757']


Not [i]that[/i] lucky.

Remember that band you were in one time with a lady singer who had - er- stubble that you used to wonder about and you got the hump in rehearsal when she asked you to simplify your lines a bit and there was a big shouting match between the two of you and halfway through you realised that you had a half-lob and it all ended up in a hotel room and when she whipped 'em off you realised 'she' was a 'he' but it didn't matter anyway by that stage.

Well, that was xilldx. I've never been in a band with you.
[/quote]

I hate it when this happens but in hindsight it's always nice to have anecdotes 😆

[Huge Hands]

[quote name='TimR' timestamp='1425053121' post='2703468']
I think you might be jumping to conclusions. The singers left and the first two bands folded.
We've all been in similar situations. Sometimes band dynamics just don't work. Putting the blame on one person is a bit of a red herring.
Anyway the last singer left for personal reasons. Allegedly.
[/quote]

I wasn't, I was just saying that the OP should have realised that some would think of these conclusions based on his first post and the fact that he got upset at the jokey response. I was just suggesting that he should consider it a possibility, rather than dismissing it out of hand because he didn't want that kind of response.

[quote name='phil.c60' timestamp='1425070639' post='2703734']
Sorry, Solo, but here's my 2p: The folks that post on this forum clearly do so because they enjoy it, as well as because they think they [u]may[/u] have something valuable (or not, value is always subjective) to offer. Enjoyment is often linked with humour (it is with the people I [s]inflict myself on[/s] mix with), the humour is rarely meant to be offensive (but it can be sharp: always my favourite kind especially when I'm the subject. If you can't take it....). I don't think the original post that got you all lathered up was meant to be anything but a bit of teasing, and we usually tease hardest the people we know well or think may be like minded. If he was wrong about the second I'm sure he's sorry for not appreciating how sensitive you are. But, to pinch a bit of your shorthand ffs lighten up. Take the joke. Please. Who knows, if you had responded to it with a bit of humour of your own perhaps something more valuable (whoops, there's that word again) might have been forthcoming. Just saying. I appreciate, by the way, that my opinion is probably worthless. And a bit humourless, on this occasion.
[/quote]

This ^^ is what I was trying to get at. Well said.

[Phil Starr]

I'd say give up trying to start your own band. It's hard to find one person committed to gigging who isn't already gigging, to find four or five is nothing short of a miracle. I'm the organising type and I'm reluctant to take it on again. The trouble is that so many people dream of gigging but in reality only think of themselves and their playing in front of a live audience. Once they've lived their dreams a few times it's enough. Gigging most weekends is a whole extra level and takes huge commitment.

No judgement on those people for whom six gigs a year is enough though, but if you want to gig more than that then find people who share that aim.

The best way to do this is to join a band who are already gigging regularly, because for every band who has lost a less than committed singer there's another who has just lost their bassist. Start going to the local gigs and start networking, just talk to the bands, let them know you play, male a note of what they play and make sure you could make a stab at the stuff you hear most of them play. If the call comes you'll need half a dozen songs or more to jam at an audition but you will probably only get a fortnight to learn the rest of their set. The more bands you see the greater chance that you'll find one that needs you. Scan the ads use the internet but there's nothing like first hand knowledge.

Bands get so desperate that even I get to be the bassist even though I have very little skill, just Mr Reliable with a good attitude.

Edited February 27, 2015 by Phil Starr

[solo4652]

Thank you. That's the sort of thoughtful, considered advice I was asking for.

For me, this has been a difficult period. I'm the band organiser - I'm getting emails from the rest of the band asking what's happening with our AWOL singer, understandably. I'm trying to balance being sympathetic towards her against the desires of everybody else to push on and find a replacement. I'm also asking myself some questions about whether I can be bothered to do this any more. Another 30 minutes-worth of emails from drummer, guitarist and keys player tonight to deal with. Ok - maybe I'm being a bit too intense about all this, but I do try to respect bandmates' concerns and do what I can to keep a happy ship. Maybe I'm naïve. Maybe it's time for me to change direction, simply concentrate on playing bass and leave band management to somebody else. I genuinely asked Basschat members for some help, and I thank those who have been kind enough to offer advice. Right here, right now, that's what I need. There's a time and a place for everything and, right now, for all the above reasons, I'm not feeling especially jolly or devil-may-care. Just saying.

Steve

Edited February 27, 2015 by solo4652

[TimR]

30mins worth of emails? From them or you writing them?

Either way, something has to give there. Someone needs a break and to come back fresh with new ideas and a less 'intense' view.

Bands should be fun. If the band aren't having fun the audience will sense it. The music won't flow.

Audition wisely with a firm understanding of what you want from each musician.

[discreet]

[quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1425072278' post='2703757']
Remember that band you were in one time with a lady singer who had - er- stubble that you used to wonder about and you got the hump in rehearsal when she asked you to simplify your lines a bit and there was a big shouting match between the two of you and halfway through you realised that you had a half-lob and it all ended up in a hotel room and when she whipped 'em off you realised 'she' was a 'he' but it didn't matter anyway by that stage.

Well, that was xilldx. I've never been in a band with you.
[/quote]

[blue]

[quote name='neepheid' timestamp='1425030652' post='2703065']
You've been really unlucky with the people you've met. You can't keep being this unlucky. Try originals for a change of scene/pace? C
[/quote]

I think the OP wants to gig and possibly be paid.If there are gigs for original bands in his region fine. Here in Milwaukee it wouldn't be the best route for those that want to gig. There is no local market for originals bands in Milwaukee.

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='Number6' timestamp='1425031068' post='2703080']
Agree about too much rehearsing.....we only increase our rehearsals just before a gig to sharpen up but learn most stuff at home.

It becomes a chore if you over do rehearsals imho.
[/quote]

Agreed, when I was scouting bands for myself back in 2009 if a band indicated they rehearsed on a weekly basis I would pass them by and would not entertain auditioning.

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='solo4652' timestamp='1425076992' post='2703819']
Thank you. That's the sort of thoughtful, considered advice I was asking for.

For me, this has been a difficult period. I'm the band organiser -
Steve[/quote]

Steve,

Lot's of advice here, however it has to start with what makes you happy, what's fun and what do you want to do.

I am sensing you looking for stability in a band and you want to gig.

My advice, get away from band organization as it has not been good to you. Find an established band you like that has been together without a ton of personal changes with an established book of business and get out there and have some fun.

Blue