skankdelvar Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 [quote name='Muppet' timestamp='1430569769' post='2762705'] Was he clear it was an audition, rather than a 'we're having a practice before a gig, do you want to pop along?' sort of thing? Had you agreed what songs he was to learn etc..? Sounds like a communications issue to me. [/quote] That would be my understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 [quote name='thebrig' timestamp='1430572935' post='2762747'] We once auditioned a vocalist who turned up with an acoustic guitar, we asked if he intended playing it, and he replied, "no, I can't play guitar, I just like to have it with me all the time", and just stood it in the corner of the room. Just before we started, he asked if he could go to the reception for some food and drink as he had come straight from work, he came back to the room with two rounds of sandwiches, crisps, chocolate bars, and two cans of drink. He couldn't sing either, so he didn't get the job, but when we went to pay for the room, we found out that he had put his food and drink on the tab, so we had to pay an extra £9.50 [/quote] Not so dumb...he probably just wandered in off the street and saw the opportunity for free grub... Probably been doing it for years.. But, I'm not sure I'd audition total randoms anyway.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrig Posted May 2, 2015 Share Posted May 2, 2015 [quote name='JTUK' timestamp='1430582611' post='2762869'] Not so dumb...he probably just wandered in off the street and saw the opportunity for free grub... Probably been doing it for years.. But, I'm not sure I'd audition total randoms anyway.... [/quote]He contacted us through JoinMyBand, but we did wonder whether he did it regularly just to get a free meal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicko Posted May 13, 2015 Author Share Posted May 13, 2015 As an update the guy did finally show up with a guitar - I hadn't managed to let the rest of the band know what I thought before they contacted him. He was, shall we say, not great! He didn't appear to know how to turn the amp on, or set it up and was only capable of one rhythm. The search goes on..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadofsix Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Ah, such is the stuff of life. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamdenRob Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) I don't think I've ever been to an audition that wasn't strange in some way... I'm holding auditions myself next week for a drummer and a couple of singers. Kinda feel like I should do something bizarre to keep the tradition going... maybe wear a superhero costume or something. Edited May 14, 2015 by CamdenRob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PTB Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 My favourite was the singer whose false teeth fell out and rolled under the drum kit in a filthy rehearsal room. He shouted "guitar solo!" and crawled between the kick & floor tom in search of them. Once retrieved, he stood up, blew the crud off them & stuck them back in. That's when we stopped playing & sniggering and started laughing. He couldn't understand why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 [quote name='Nicko' timestamp='1431505932' post='2771923'] As an update the guy did finally show up with a guitar - I hadn't managed to let the rest of the band know what I thought before they contacted him. He was, shall we say, not great! He didn't appear to know how to turn the amp on, or set it up and was only capable of one rhythm. The search goes on..... [/quote] Was this a true formal audition where he was to come with rehearsed material, and did you guys make it clear what sort of experience level you were looking for? Most of the time you can weed out guys that are not a match with a brief pre-audition phone interview. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevB Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 The last band I was in knew that the guitarist was going to be having leave off gigging for a while so we auditioned a guy initially as depping cover as the guitarist was definitely not going to make the next gig. The singer found him through whatever means and gave him a month to learn the basics of the set. He turned up and obviously hadn't put anything like the necessary work in (and it wasn't hard stuff). Eventually after hamfistedly busking through yet another one me and the drummer decided to have a fag break even though neither of us smoke so the singer could have a discussion with his discovery. He must have really torn into him as there was a distinct atmosphere when we came back in. Another song and a half in and the new guy says his hand has now cramped up and he can't make the chord shapes at all and doesn't think he'll be able to do the next gig! we never heard from him again. Had to desperately get the regular guitarist back in which meant he didn't take his girlfriend out for her birthday meal that weekend and gigged with us instead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Daveo Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 I think think you should keep looking, anyone who has an attitude like that tends to be a twit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 [quote name='Chaos Daveo' timestamp='1431808237' post='2775265'] ...anyone who has an attitude like that tends to be a twit. [/quote] Post of the day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el borracho Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 We had a keyboard player turned up who was supposed to have learnt a few songs. The first one had a fairly simple keyboard intro that he seemed to be struggling with so the drummer, who could play keyboards,showed him the line. The keyboard player pressed a couple of buttons & asked the drummer to show him again, then said he was ready to start. We didn't realise he had actually recorded the drummer playing the keyboard part until he just pressed 'play' and stood back with his arms folded waiting for us to join in!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubit Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 [quote name='JapanAxe' timestamp='1430578744' post='2762804'] I knew that, as local radio made a big thing of it at the time. Anyway each to their own - Talking Heads leave me cold! [/quote] I agree! In fact road to nowhere should be added to the least liked,most hated list. Video jukeboxes from the late 80's have a heck of a lot to answer for! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drax Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Sandwich Thief and False Teeth are two of the greatest stories I've seen on BC in recent months. More of these please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 [quote name='el borracho' timestamp='1431850660' post='2775449'] We had a keyboard player turned up who was supposed to have learnt a few songs. The first one had a fairly simple keyboard intro that he seemed to be struggling with so the drummer, who could play keyboards,showed him the line. The keyboard player pressed a couple of buttons & asked the drummer to show him again, then said he was ready to start. We didn't realise he had actually recorded the drummer playing the keyboard part until he just pressed 'play' and stood back with his arms folded waiting for us to join in!! [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subbeh Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 [quote name='PTB' timestamp='1431626344' post='2773409'] My favourite was the singer whose false teeth fell out and rolled under the drum kit in a filthy rehearsal room. He shouted "guitar solo!" and crawled between the kick & floor tom in search of them. Once retrieved, he stood up, blew the crud off them & stuck them back in. That's when we stopped playing & sniggering and started laughing. He couldn't understand why. [/quote] I'm amazed he couldn't see the funny side of that. "Guitar solo!" that bit made my day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaos Daveo Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1431815133' post='2775331'] Post of the day! [/quote] result Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the boy Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 [quote name='gjones' timestamp='1430567161' post='2762675'] He probably assumed that, if you could only give him half an hour, you weren't very interested. It would take him ten minutes to set up and then you'd be showing him the door after twenty minutes of noodling. Try to see it from his perspective. [/quote] Very much this. If I was invited to audition with restrictions etc.., I'm not sure I'd act much differently. Did you ask him where his guitar was. It may have been in the Car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicko Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 [quote name='the boy' timestamp='1431950995' post='2776464'] Very much this. If I was invited to audition with restrictions etc.., I'm not sure I'd act much differently. Did you ask him where his guitar was. It may have been in the Car. [/quote] The restrictions were because we had a gig coming up and we didn't feel we could sacrifice the whole rehearsal - he knew that. His guitar wasn't in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 We once auditioned a punk guitarist. He turned up with the full Punk outfit, and one of those odd shaped white guitars that looked very punk. When we started playing he just kept making these noises from his guitar. Like grunts or something. When questioned what he was playing he said it was "alternative". Our drummer (also punk) asked if he was in tune. Guitarist said "no idea, it came like this when i got it". The drummer got up and offered to tune it for him. As soon as he moved any of the tuners the relevant string broke. Guitarist ended up giving us the guitar because it now had no strings on it and left. Very bizarre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 [quote name='the boy' timestamp='1431950995' post='2776464'] Very much this. If I was invited to audition with restrictions etc.., I'm not sure I'd act much differently. Did you ask him where his guitar was. It may have been in the Car. [/quote] really? How long do you think they should do a first audition for? I think 30min is quite enough to get a sense whether someone may be ok or is a definitely no. Sometimes, you may just KNOW you found the guy within 15 minutes! But that's rare. It's really painful qhen you have a guy for a full hour, that within 15min you all knew was not going to be the one... I don't think it's unusual for a band to try out a number of players, and then short list a couple you thought were possibly a good match for another, more involved, session. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonnp Posted May 20, 2015 Share Posted May 20, 2015 perhaps he plays air guitar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el borracho Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 [quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1432147143' post='2778677'] really? How long do you think they should do a first audition for? I think 30min is quite enough to get a sense whether someone may be ok or is a definitely no. Sometimes, you may just KNOW you found the guy within 15 minutes! But that's rare. It's really painful qhen you have a guy for a full hour, that within 15min you all knew was not going to be the one... [/quote] Once had 2 hours with a drummer that did no fills whatsoever. He hit a cymbal sometimes but didn't hit a tom once. By the second song we knew he wasn't right so just used it as a useful rehearsal. He said he liked to keep it simple! It was a shame as his timekeeping was spot on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rogerstodge Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 [quote name='el borracho' timestamp='1432317453' post='2780478'] Once had 2 hours with a drummer that did no fills whatsoever. He hit a cymbal sometimes but didn't hit a tom once. By the second song we knew he wasn't right so just used it as a useful rehearsal. He said he liked to keep it simple! It was a shame as his timekeeping was spot on. [/quote]he'd a got the job if it was my band Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 (edited) [quote name='el borracho' timestamp='1432317453' post='2780478'] Once had 2 hours with a drummer that did no fills whatsoever. He hit a cymbal sometimes but didn't hit a tom once. By the second song we knew he wasn't right so just used it as a useful rehearsal. He said he liked to keep it simple! It was a shame as his timekeeping was spot on. [/quote] [quote name='rogerstodge' timestamp='1432319652' post='2780512'] he'd a got the job if it was my band [/quote] Yes, I, too approve the 'less is more' aspect, especially a t a 'first contact' audition. Thundering around on all the elements would certainly deter more, I would think. Whatever happened to sobriety..? Edited May 22, 2015 by Dad3353 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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