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Your are not listening are you?


kevvo66
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Hiya everone ,after much thought I think its time I left my band as the guitarist / singer isn't taking any notice of me and the drummer and with the added bonus of a female vocalist who just wants to do ballads and a big bust up at a gig the other week think I've had a enough so as the drummer only plays what he wants ,i feel like a dep who just standing in and stroking his ego and not part of a band at all ,I'd love to find a band where my input is appreciated !

Edited by kevvo66
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I think you'll find a consensus here with other Bass players feeling undervalued. Singers and guitarists generally treat drummers and bassists as their backing band and rarely value their contribution even though we're the backbone of most bands...Build a band around yourself and a drummer and tell singers and guitarists to leave their egos at the door.

Pedantry: it should be "you're" not listening.

Edited by TheGreek
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[quote name='kevvo66' timestamp='1444410966' post='2883129']
....as the guitarist / singer isn't taking any notice of me and the drummer...
[/quote]

What sort of notice aren't they taking ?

Not joking....it's a serious question.

Edited by ahpook
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Well,every song we pick is pushed to back of the set list and never gets mentioned again ,me and the drummer have picked some stuff by the who and police but to no avail ,as person he's a nice guy but when he gets his guitar and mic he really is a jekyll and hyde ,i am very layed back and so is the drummer and I dont really like confrontation unless really wound up

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Hmmm, doesn't sound like much fun.

Before youn call it a day, be honest and tell them how you feel - if you've not already, that is

Dunno - I'm a bit fan of just saying what's bothering you, sometimes it's easy to presume and take things as read. You've nowt to lose by just levelling with them.

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There's a phenomenon in cover bands whereby certain band members (singers especially) get stuck in their song comfort zone - you rehearse a new number, you get it sounding good, it might even appear on the set list, but somehow it never gets played.

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[quote name='JapanAxe' timestamp='1444414423' post='2883165']
There's a phenomenon in cover bands whereby certain band members (singers especially) get stuck in their song comfort zone - you rehearse a new number, you get it sounding good, it might even appear on the set list, but somehow it never gets played.
[/quote]

Yep!

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Think you should voice your opinion before leaving. Won't do any harm. There might be a simple reason for it as mentioned "vocal range" but that should be made clear from the singer that the songs he has picked are ones he can sing. If not then maybe time to move on and find people who respect everyone in the band.

I've been in bands like yours where bass and drums are backing bands as far as guitarist / vocalist thought. Doesn't work, won't last. I've also been in bands where members didn't speak up when discussing choice of songs and after spending several weeks rehearsing them decided they didn't like them. Again didn't last.
I like a leader in a band and by that i mean everyone has an opinion but one person has a final say and everyone is happy with that idea. It provides direction of sorts. Current 4 piece Prog band works that way. Every aspect of what is done is talked abbout either at rehearsal or via the usual FB or txt and if any doubt the leader who in this band writes majority of material will have a final decision if no-one else can decide. This works really well for me.
Hope it works out either way for you but i guess that's just bands for you.

ATB
Dave

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Bear in mind your singer is ill - suffering from LVS - Lead Vocalist Syndrome. Almost a universal constant and inevitable outcome of the ego required in fronting a band. Eventually, the singer believes they are 'his/her' band, not an equal share of the start up band it once was, and thus their opinion as to which songs get played is more important than anyone else's.

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I've played with some very good psyco-meglomaniacs and sometimes they are nice people. As long as they are doing good stuff I'm happy to let them dictate. As long as it's a good ride then count me in. Like all dictators they have to achieve success to remain in charge and keep me interested.

These guys do not need to listen so they don't. If you need to "contribute" to the decision making process then these people and bands are not for you.

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If the music/performance/prospects are good in a band I'm prepared to put up with the negatives.

As a general observation I'd say that if a person needs explicit appreciation, respect and to be consulted - maybe the bass isnt the best choice of instrument to learn.

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Isn't this the standard make up of a band? Singer, needs to be an egomaniac type if they are any good as a front person, they need to be handled with care, the guitarist has the 2nd biggest ego again needs to be handled with care but he / she knows a good guitarist is easier to come by than a good front man... so a little hidden insecurity!

The bass player, keeps the peace between singer and guitarist, keeps the band together, knows that without them the band is nothing, but is far too modest to shove it down said singer and guitarist's throat,

Drummer says very little, they know the singer and guitarist have to be suffered but acknowledges the bass player holds the band together but also knows full well that without a good drummer the bass player is nothing!

Keyboard players.....err I am sure that have a use :D

But seriously I don't think I have ever played in a decent band where the singer and guitarist don't see themselves as "special" and as a bass player my attitude has always been "yeah whatever keeps the peace" if they try getting too "special" then I have voiced my concerns, things usually settle down again

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Look at it another way, I'm in a band where everyone's so modest about their talents, so nice to each other that no-one wants to be the boss. Nothing gets done, I'm the first to get annoyed about it so now I'm the "boss". Everyone looks to me and I'm bloody awful at it!

We've all got our problems :)

Also, our keyboard player is a charming gentleman, talented, modest, sings too!

Edited by neepheid
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