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A funny thing happened on the way to the gig..


silverfoxnik
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Hi Folks,

Last Sunday I successfully managed to lock my keys, phone and all my gear into my car whilst outside our singer's house, just as we were about to leave for a gig 30 miles away. :)

One hour later, after failing in that time to break in to my own car, we left in the singer's wife's car, borrowed a bass on the way, got to the gig half-hour late, plugged in direct to the PA and managed to do the gig!

Played for 2 hours and endured many a joke about cars and keys, but the crowd loved it and all was OK in the end..

..Meanwhile, back at my car, the AA turned up (approx 1 hour late) and broke into my car in 10 seconds flat, which meant I managed to rescue my gear and make it home...albeit somewhat embarrassed!!

So now I'm wondering what's the worst, most stupid or most embarrassing thing that you've ever done while out gigging?? Hopefully, your stories might help me feel just a tad less of an idiot.

Nik

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I once turned up at a pub, got there before the rest of the band I was depping with, loaded in my gear, only to find that I was a day early when the band that were booked to play that night turned up to find me all setup stage right.....

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On the way to a gig in Shrewsbury in the seventies,(it was a youth club thing which we did every month) i asked the band jokingly to drop me off at the Music hall to see Free who were appearing there that night, which they promptly did. i was playing keyboards then, Free were very late going on and i was still queing when i though sod this i'm going to miss the band and a lift home, so much to my embarresment as the queue began to move i quit and waited outside for the band, and waited, and waited, i fanally gave up waiting and phoned home, after an hour my lift turned up and so did the band who were late going on also. didn't get to see Free. and had a bollickin off a family member in front of the band, it was only in later years did i wonder why they let me go. was i that bad? :)

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Try sitting on plane for 4 hours praying your bass will be in one piece when you get to the gig!

I should elaborate...

A few years ago I got a gig (job) playing on cruise ship in the Med. Was told by the guy would sorted it all out that if I took my bass (Yamaha TRB5F at the time - 21st Birthday present from my Dad) in a soft gig bag I could take it on the plane as hand luggage and everything would be ok - fat chance!

Got to the airport and checked in my suitcase and went to the departure lounge with nothing but the clothes I was standing in and my bass, come to boarding time and I'm confronted by a complete job's worth ""there's no way you can bring that on as hand luggage mate" as I went to get on the plane - what do you do at that point. The air was blue.

Thinking quick I removed all none essential items of clothing (luckily it was mid summer and the weather was pretty good, plus we were flying to Cyprus, where it's always hot) and proceeded to pack out the soft case as best I could - slackened of the tension in the neck (I'd read somewhere this was a good idea as the extremes of temperature can do do funny things) and was assured that my bass would be hung in the cargo hold with the kiddies buggies etc and not thrown around in a cage with the rest of the luggage...

Then spent the entire 4 hour flight hoping and praying that my bass would be ok and in a playable state once we reached the ship... can honestly say it was the longest 4 hours of my life.

To my great relief both me and my bass made it in one piece and were happily reunited at the other end - always use a hard case these days no matter where the gig is :)

I'm somewhat older and hopefully wiser these days - You live and learn...

Edited by jwbassman
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I had a gig with my old motown band at a club on an RAF base in Hillingdon. I took my gf and she helped me pack the car. I took the amps out and she took the bass (my 78 stingray). I opened up the boot and loaded the amps and left her to put the stingray in while I went back to lock the place up. Then in we got in and drove off to the gig.

When I got to the gig, I opened up the back of the car and couldn't see the bass anywhere. Apparently she hadn't loaded it in the car and couldn't remember where she left it. So I got back into the car and went back home but couldn't see the bass anywhere - either inside the flat or out.

Then I hear a knock on the door and its one of my neighbours standing there holding my bass. He said he'd stopped "a pair of gyppos" from walking off with it after they found it on the pavement propped up against some railings. Needless to say my relief was immense but I was half an hour late for the gig by the time I got back and we only had time for one set. My nerves were shattered at the prospect of losing the stingray and being so late, and I couldn't focus on playing. The club ended up being near empty anyway and our playing pretty much sucked any how. That was the worst gig I've played so far.

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our last gig, we turned up at our practice hall to load all our pa and drum gear etc into the cars, we have to go round the back to do this, the drummers car goes in first folled by the rythmn guitarists,whcih on attempting to turn round to reverse up to the back do blows a tyre, turns out the anti roll bar on the front of his car has sheared off from the wishbone mounts and caught i the side of the tyre ripping a very large hole (lucky it wasn't on the M11 at 70mph!!) anyway we proceed to jack the car up only to find the jack isn't long enough to get the wheel off (big 4x4 this car) so we then let it down put a parge paving slab under there and then have a long discussion about what is the actual jacvk point on the car as it's not marked anywhere and then come to the conclusion its normally near the side of the car adn the first place we jacked it on didn't look too hot, start jacking it again and then just to make things worse the place onthe side of the car where we are jscking it collaspses pushing out the body work, brilliant!! i now want to crawl into the ground.
we finally resort to the first jack point which works chage the wheel and pack the cars up.
the guitarist obviously want to get hte tyre sorted and the roll bar so we head off to dartford tyres, which the drummer doesn't know is not in dartford, we phone him to find out where he has gone as we have just been told by the bloke at the tyre place that a) he doesn't have the tyre in stock and :) the car is seriously dangerous in its current state and should not be driven (we have to get to a village near the wwash in lincolnshire) but the drummers phone has gone dead and he has gon awol. the guitarist has to get a caroff his daughter and repack everything form that into his and the lead guitarists car who has now turned up. we fianlly get on the road after tracking down the drummer 3.5 hours later than we should have done, fortunately we had planned on getting there early but only just had enough time to set up and sound check.
not relising the idea of going back up there again and i havent heard from teh guitarist since

Edited by lowhand_mike
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Not on the way to the gig but still :)

First time I met my new bandmates at a pub miles from my home we discussed me joining and a potential date to rehearse together. I then retired to let them talk about me...only to find I'd locked my keys in my car.

Had to come back in and interrupt the conversation. Fortunately my son arrived before closing time with another set, but only after they'd all tried and failed to break into my scruffy old Cavalier.

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Went to play the keyboard bit in the middle of the Killers' When You Were Young (at a packed pub gig). Hadn't un-muted the keys channel on the mixer (€100 Yamaha home keyboard hums a lot). Played the first chord - silence. Remembered the mute button and pressed it. Turned back to the keyboard but got confused about what chord to play. Tried one and got it wrong, tried another, wrong again. Got the last one right and only then noticed the cheers and applause.

Big hole. Swallow me, please.

Mark

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[quote name='Crazykiwi' post='30548' date='Jul 12 2007, 07:47 AM']When I got to the gig, I opened up the back of the car and couldn't see the bass anywhere. Apparently she hadn't loaded it in the car and couldn't remember where she left it. So I got back into the car and went back home but couldn't see the bass anywhere - either inside the flat or out.[/quote]

About 6 months ao I found a 60's Ric 4001 in the street in a batterd case.. just like CK's story ..
left a note at the house, called 101 and told them and had a little play :) Remembered why I don't like playing 4001's :huh:

The guy had been picked up by his manager at about 7am to go and record about 50 miles away and had a "Dude, where's my bass?" moment when they got there He had to max out his credit card and buy a Stingray from the local shop to do the recording session whilst his manager called every music shop and crack converter in our area....
They finally got back and a neighbour gave him my note - I'd put it in the wrong house ... so he was very relieved to come and get it back :huh:

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I don't know whether this counts as a bad gig or not...

Quite a few years back I got roped into playing a short Sunday residency at a pub in Hackney. We got paid a pittance but on the upside we had access to unlimited beer and a nice Sunday roast.

On the very last Sunday (and mid-set), there was some handbags over near the bar and then two fat guys started fighting, I swear I heard this guy's nose crack from the first punch (it still makes me wince thinking about it). Within seconds the whole place went off and there were maybe thirty people all beating the crap out of each other...it was like a scene from a Western, glasses were flying, someone was swinging a pool-cue around. I reckon it lasted under a minute and amazingly we kept playing.

In hindsight it was hilarious, but at the time I was cacking my pants.

Much love
P
X

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Yeah I've managed to do the same if that makes you feel any better bro. Only outside our rehersal unit with my old band. I had to call out the AA as well, but I didn't have a mobile on me so had to walk about a mile to the nearest pay phone!!

Played with Anthrax up in Manchester a few years back, our opening song and I wasn't even plugged in! Probably the worst gig of my entire life! Still, gotta laugh eh! :)

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[quote name='Basszilla' post='30730' date='Jul 12 2007, 02:22 PM']Yeah I've managed to do the same if that makes you feel any better bro. Only outside our rehersal unit with my old band. I had to call out the AA as well, but I didn't have a mobile on me so had to walk about a mile to the nearest pay phone!!

Played with Anthrax up in Manchester a few years back, our opening song and I wasn't even plugged in! Probably the worst gig of my entire life! Still, gotta laugh eh! :huh:[/quote]

Hi,

It certainly does make me feel better, thanks! :) There's some really funny stories here which I've had a good chuckle over! Main thing is that everyone has lived to tell the tale and had a good laugh about it afterwards !

Thanks

Nik

P.S. By the way, what an honest lot us bassists are...

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Pre Gig - We all went in a borrowed van, arrived in the car park with me in the back. The driver opened the sliding door not knowing I was leaning on it and I ended up in a big puddle in the middle of the car park. Had to play the gig soaking wet :)

Mid Gig - I lent over to talk to the drummer between songs and got him square on the forehead with the end of my Warwick headstock. He seemed to shake it off until during the next song when the blood started running down his face :huh: credit to him though he kept on playing and finished the gig.

Post Gig - I managed to lock my keys in the car after a gig in a little village in the middle of nowhere. Myself, the drummer along with a very drunken guitarist tried to break in and in the end we had to resort to using a cymbal stand to break a window just as the local police patrol came driving round the corner. Trying to explain to the police while my drunken friend was saying I nicking the car was fun. Anyway, they wouldn't help so we went back to the cymbal stand and finally managed to break a window to get back in.

Life would just be too boring without gigging with yer mates !

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Here's another (oh, I've got a ton of 'em).

I played in a punk covers band when I was about sixteen and supported a band at a college Valentine Day disco. The main act had a drum riser about four or five feet high, which had this huge kit on it, that our drummer used.

Primed with cheap cider, we're pogoing our way through our set, dodging the phlegm and plastic glasses, when someone in the crowd throws a Party-Seven up towards the stage (for you youngsters, a party seven was a big can of beer that held seven pints). On it's way up, the can is spinning like a catherine wheel and the contents are squirting out...I arch my back, it misses my face by inches although I am wetted from the contents (sadly not beer, but wee-wee). It continues on its journey, before hitting our drummer full in the chest, knocking him off the drum riser mid-song. We were just falling about and in an instant that single event becomes local folklore.

That drummer was Dick Beetham, who now owns 360 Mastering in London. Go check your CDs!

Much love
P
x

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Some 20 years ago, was playing a gig supporting Dr Feelgood and a friend turned up in her car at the house post prang. Thought I would be helpful and straighten some metal out, get the wheel arch off the wheel, try to secure the bonnet so it shut. All was ok til the last part - there was a light cluster in the way which I attempted to move, slipped and the rather broken light unit made a mess of my hand! Played a bit bandaged!
max

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  • 4 weeks later...

Well a couple or three to be going on with

1) Years ago as callow mid teen youths on a club band we did a darts night so by the time we got on everyone was well pished. Get to the break & we are asked if we know "The Stripper"? No say we but we can do something - well you live in hope. Come the appointed hour we start off & does some young hottie come up to reveal all? Sadly not. She was 70 if she was a day!! Off she goes & gets down to the winter drawers, unfortunately then the daughter came & held a fur coat up to protect her dignity from the audience & she carried on. Shame we were stood behind it!! You've no doubt heard the one about the old dear who wants to end it all, is told to be certain of hitting her heart to shoot through her breast & presents at the doctor the next day with a bullet wound to her thigh. I still wake screaming on occasion at the memory :)

2) Not very long after in a different incarnation of the band doing original rock/punk stuff playing at a bikers afternoon wedding reception, playing everything twice 'cos we were so scared, watching them tip brandy over the most out of it guest & setting light to him ([i]mummy![/i]). Eventually saying we really had to go to another (made up as an excuse for us to be able to exit) gig in the evening, then cacking ourselves when they said they would come over & see us at that gig, and whilst we humped the gear out of the venue past rows of gleaming bikes

3) Sticking one of the guys who used to roadie for us inside an old trunk we used to use that looked like a large treasure chest carrying him & it over the road from the gig in Eastbourne & depositing it outside a theatre just as the old time music hall evening emptied from it then retreating to the other side of the road to watch as he rocked the case back & forth as music hallers in their blazers & boaters wandered past wondering what on earth was occurring - I guess you probably had to be there for that one!

4) Our sound guy (renowned for dozing off at the wheel) driving the van away from a gig in Havant only to be stopped by the boys in blue a short way down the road. Two of them, one a reasonable older guy who came round & chatted through the passenger window & a younger jobsworth. So he breathes into the bag & it is completely clear - as we knew it would be as he drinks mineral water at gigs.

Was that the end of it? Oh no. "I have reason to believe you are driving under the influence of drugs" says jobsworth. "WHAT!" says we - & even the older guy rolled his eyes at this - "WHY!?". "Because he looks dopey". "But he always looks like that!" was the response & thankfully sanity & the older cop stepped in & sent us on our way

Edited by WalMan
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My tale is more a weekend of fun and games that I experienced when I was in my first band years ago (1995 I think)

A name Swedish Death band was touring the OK and we'd been booked to open for their final show - London on a Sunday night. Wicked!

I got a phone call from the London promotr on Friday mornign to say that the tour manager alleged he'd been mugged in Manchester and that he was carrying all of the cash needed for the tour, including payment for the coach company. Very fishy. Upon hearing of this, the coach company promptly announced they were returning to Sweden. If the headline and main support (also Swedish) wanted to get home with their gear they would have to cut short the tour, else the company would leave them in the UK. The 2nd support band werer from Belgium and decided that they'd be better off trying to get home from England.

The promoter asked if we'd be willing to play the remaining dates of the tour so that the 2nd support could have a go at flogging some merchandise and at least making a few quid. The only problem is that they had no transport.

We turn up at the first gig in Tunbridge Wells to find that there's no way the 2nd support can play. So, a 5 band bill featuring 3 name bands is suddenly reduced to a two band bill featuring a couple of demo bands.There was a queue of nearly 200 people outside and the venue aren't exactly publicising the billing. I had to walk the queue constantly to explain the situation. Thankfully the crowd are understanding and most demand a decent amount off the door price too.

Next nigt's gig is in Milton Keynes. We load into our band transport -a Bedford rascal - and head on up to the gig. This time the Belgian band are playig but they have no transport whatsoever. WE do the gig and then the promoter plays his trump card-we need to get the Belgian band back to London. We drove down the M1 with 8 people and our backline wedged into the back of a 1.3 litre Bedford Rascal!

And so went the weekend. We finally got roped into driving the band back to Dover so they could get the ferry back. They ended up leaving their backline with some strange witch they'd met in Canterbury and arranged for one of them to go backand get it later.

Most of my gigs nowadays are more straightforward

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[quote name='bassbloke' post='41480' date='Aug 5 2007, 08:07 AM']My tale is more a weekend of fun and games that I experienced when I was in my first band years ago (1995 I think)

A name Swedish Death band was touring the OK and we'd been booked to open for their final show - London on a Sunday night. Wicked!

I got a phone call from the London promotr on Friday mornign to say that the tour manager alleged he'd been mugged in Manchester and that he was carrying all of the cash needed for the tour, including payment for the coach company. Very fishy. Upon hearing of this, the coach company promptly announced they were returning to Sweden. If the headline and main support (also Swedish) wanted to get home with their gear they would have to cut short the tour, else the company would leave them in the UK. The 2nd support band werer from Belgium and decided that they'd be better off trying to get home from England.

The promoter asked if we'd be willing to play the remaining dates of the tour so that the 2nd support could have a go at flogging some merchandise and at least making a few quid. The only problem is that they had no transport.

We turn up at the first gig in Tunbridge Wells to find that there's no way the 2nd support can play. So, a 5 band bill featuring 3 name bands is suddenly reduced to a two band bill featuring a couple of demo bands.There was a queue of nearly 200 people outside and the venue aren't exactly publicising the billing. I had to walk the queue constantly to explain the situation. Thankfully the crowd are understanding and most demand a decent amount off the door price too.

Next nigt's gig is in Milton Keynes. We load into our band transport -a Bedford rascal - and head on up to the gig. This time the Belgian band are playig but they have no transport whatsoever. WE do the gig and then the promoter plays his trump card-we need to get the Belgian band back to London. We drove down the M1 with 8 people and our backline wedged into the back of a 1.3 litre Bedford Rascal!

And so went the weekend. We finally got roped into driving the band back to Dover so they could get the ferry back. They ended up leaving their backline with some strange witch they'd met in Canterbury and arranged for one of them to go backand get it later.

Most of my gigs nowadays are more straightforward[/quote]


Was that Dismember????

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I had a doozy on Thursday after agreeing to support one of our singers at a Talent night with her guitarist boyfriend.

We turn up to rehearsal after having learned the 4 songs and her boyfriend starts rewriting them. After we spent an hour on the first one, the drummer and I suggested that we probably weren't going to be able to relearn all of the songs in 2 hours. So we spend 20mins on learning the whole of the second song which we were told we'd only be coming in at the end for anyway (so we just learned the last choruses). Anyways, we do the last two songs in the 10 minutes we had left of studio time coz we played them in our regular band anyway.

So fast forward to the gig, we agree to show up at 7pm for a 7:30pm soundcheck but the boyfriend is bringing the PA and his stuff in 2 car loads and it took him an hour to get back home load up etc. for the second. I offered to go back with our singer and load up her car while he sorted the PA out but he didn't want to do that. So we wait about an hour for them to load up and come back - in rush hour traffic.

By the time he's ready to sound check its 9pm and the bar manager is coming over to him and asking whether we've finished yet because the place is supposed to open at 9 he needs to put the background music on for the customers. The venue has the acoustics of an echo chamber and has a massive hump at 415hz as well as letting the mids and highs bounce around the place like chimps high on E-colours. We finish sound checking at 9:30pm at which point I ask our singer when we're performing and she says she doesn't know because its up to the promoter. I'm like "what?!!". She explains that the live acts don't go on until there's enough people in the room, but its not likely to be later than 11pm. OK, its a little late but I can pack the bass away quickly and make it back to the tube in time for the last train home.

However 11pm comes and goes.

11:30pm comes and goes so I call over the guitarist as the rest of us in the band are all getting tired and a little concerned about when we're going to be able to get home considering most of us are working the following day. I tell him we're all a bit concerned about not being able to perform well if we're already exhausted before going on stage. The guitarist is a bit of a whip-whopper and goes into 'iss aht ov moi hands mate, no wot i meen, oi con du anifin' abaht it' mode, and the message is if I'm tired basically its my problem. So I'm seriously thinking about walking out if my mood suddenly swings into bear-with-sore-head mode (which happens when I'm extremely exhausted) and there's a risk of me being useless at work the following day. Given the time the tube shuts I'd also like to avoid a £40 taxi ride home if I possibly can, too.

Finally they start the show at 12:30 and we're on 30 mins later.

However the guitarist has changed the levels from soundcheck and he's also turned his guitar up. With the acoustics in the venue there's a 6 stringed sonic mush dampening out everything with mids and highs, so the backing singers can't hear themselves through the monitoring and I can't hear the keyboards who are right next to me. The first song goes well, the second we get through OK considering the lack of preparation but the third song is a bit of a stumble because I can't hear the keyboards and the guitar is echoing so much that we can't make out any lead vox or guitar chords. The drummer misses the breakdown in the last song because he can only hear bass (which carries on playing through the breakdown) above the rest of the mush. The keyboardist more or less gives up on the last song because he can't hear himself either.

We play for 30mins and then we're off, only we can't pack our gear up until the final act.

So the last act finish up and...

...the guitarist goes back up to sing a couple of croony Timberlake/Craig David RnB-style tracks by himself to a backing CD!!

We're like WTF?! Where's this come from? We were told there were only 4 acts and now there's 5?

He finally finishes at a quarter past 2, I'm too tired to care about anything other than helping everyone breakdown their gear and load up as quickly as possible. Again we offer to help break the PA down but the guitarist says no he'll do it himself. I thought the singers dad was coming by to load up gear in his car so they'd only have to make one journey in three cars but apparently that's not happening now because its too late. I try to help by suggesting they leave their PA stored at the venue and come back to get it the following evening after work.

The keyboardist is driving back to Worcester so drops me off at nearly 3am, although he's so tired he can't string a coherent sentence together. I offer him somewhere to crash at my place but he declines saying he's OK. I virtually collapse into unconsciousness when I finally get my head down.

Thankfully I'm feeling relatively sharp the following morning and coherent (which is more important) so am able to get through the day. Don't know about the others yet but I don't think we'll be doing that gig again - at least on a week day night or without a guaranteed start time to plan around.

No wonder they don't get many bands playing that night.

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I came close at one point after talking to the guitarist and not getting any form of apology, showed him to be a bit self obsessed. He's a nice bloke on the surface but he was crap at organisation and then he tried to bullshit his way out of it which I have no tolerance for at all. But I realised that, however late it was going to be, we were now in for the haul and although I didn't give a flying sh*t about the boyfriend, my loyalty was to our singer who is lovely in every way possible. :) We were and always were doing it for her.

After the gig, the guitarist got approached by some stoner with dreads who was passing out CD copies of stuff he'd done and was talking utter bollocks to the guitarist about how they could work together in the future and he was bragging about this studio gear and stuff. The guitarist was like completely digging everything this guy was saying and responding with breathtaking disingenuity and insincerity.

The rest of us just watched the exchange with amused smiles. I swear there were clouds of pot smoke coming from that BMW 1 series as the stoner pulled away too...

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Should have just said Gothenburg......It was my second guess,At The Gates

hang on 95...was Dissection with them? Was that the Devils Chruch gig..£2.50 to see them in the Redeye or wherever Mike had his setup?

My mates got a great handheld vid of that lineup in Bradford.

What were your lot called?

Edited by ARGH
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