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New band; Sick/absent lead singer. Am I being too impatient?


solo4652
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Six weeks a go I joined a new band. Two things particularly attracted me;

- Lots of promises that songs would be agreed and people would learn their parts before rehearsals.

- Lead singer is/was a very good vocalist with a degree in popular music, loads of band experience. YouTube videos of her singing with bands were impressive. I like female-fronted bands. I'm in.

Important point; female lead singer lives with male backing singer/band frontman. I [i]think[/i] they're married, but I'm not certain.

Turns out that female singer isn't too well, bless her. She hasn't made it to any rehearsals yet, so I haven't met her. Apparently, she needs a couple of operations. Could be quite a lengthy process. Her partner - the band's backing singer and frontman/MC - is starting to suggest songs that he could sing lead to. In my opinion, he isn't a good enough singer to take over the lead role. A good frontman, yes - a good lead singer, no.

The female lead singer may be OK in a month. She might not. Nobody knows, but early signs are not promising and I'm concerned that her husband appoints himself as lead singer in her absence.

Am I being too impatient? Wouldn't be the first time.

Edited by solo4652
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Depends on how quickly you want to be gigging, but being last in I`d see how the others are dealing with it. If they seem to be of the "oh, this again" view, I`d probably get out of there.

But, re the male singer, sometimes a good frontman can carry a band better than a good singer, if that singer has no stage presence. Again, see how the others react. Nothing to say it can`t be tried out.

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[quote name='solo4652' timestamp='1464028831' post='3055939']
Six weeks a go I joined a new band. Two things particularly attracted me;

- Lots of promises that songs would be agreed and people would learn their parts before rehearsals.

- Lead singer is/was a very good vocalist with a degree in popular music, loads of band experience. YouTube videos of her singing with bands were impressive. I like female-fronted bands. I'm in.

Important point; female lead singer lives with male backing singer/band frontman. I [i]think[/i] they're married, but I'm not certain.

Turns out that female singer isn't too well, bless her. She hasn't made it to any rehearsals yet, so I haven't met her. Apparently, she needs a couple of operations. Could be quite a lengthy process. Her partner - the band's backing singer and frontman/MC - is starting to suggest songs that he could sing lead to. In my opinion, he isn't a good enough singer to take over the lead role. A good frontman, yes - a good lead singer, no.

The female lead singer may be OK in a month. She might not. Nobody knows, but early signs are not promising and I'm concerned that her husband appoints himself as lead singer in her absence.

Am I being too impatient? Wouldn't be the first time.
[/quote]

Reasonable question to ask is what time are we looking at..etc etc, and then you can make a decision.
I hate to compromise on things like this and a make-do singer is no mid term solution at all.
If something isn't or wont work, I don't see the point in pretending it does..or let it eat away at things.

It would be a No from me.

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I'd hang fire for a bit - a month's not too long in the scheme of things and if she's a good singer then you'd be onto a winner. They've been upfront about the wait, which is to their credit, so if there's no reason to doubt them (and you're not losing out too much)..

....have patience Grasshopper :)

Edited by ahpook
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Depends on what the problem is. Something like laryngitis maybe be a few weeks. The vocal folds are very delicate. If it's something like nodules, then that's very serious and may require surgery. You can't rush/push a voice back or you risk permanent damage. A common issue with typical band singers (doesn't sound like it in this case) is they don't understand the physiology of singing and sound production/voice support. They don't know how to relax the throat muscles and instead of singing, they indulge in tuned shouting. This leads to the voice tiring very quickly and becoming hoarse, usually in less than an hour. A singer with good technique can sing for hours - within reason.

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It depends on what your expectations were, and how keen you are to get going. And I suppose whether you believe it is going to be sorted out soon. I am guessing you are not happy as you are posting about it.

Personally with the idea that it might not be sorted in some time, I would probably start looking for something else. If you find something else, maybe that would be better, or maybe while you are looking she would be better.

However, 6 weeks seems to be a long time - I got contacted on joinmyband on the 27th April by a group, I played my first gig with them on Saturday. That was quite soon (it was a last minute cancellation by someone else), but enjoyable. It is hard to know quite what a group is going to be like until you gig, so I quit my other group that wasn't doing anything on sunday.

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I'm meeting up with the guitarist this coming weekend to run through some of the songs. He knows both singers pretty well. I'll see what more he can tell me about whether she has a history of no-shows, and whether he knows anything more about her illness and prognosis. I'll also say that, in my opinion, her husband isn't a good enough singer to take over the lead singer role. See what guitarist says. In the meantime, I'll start checking the Bassist Wanted ads. Again.

Edited by solo4652
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I sympathize with the OP's situation, but am struck by the absence of any sympathy in this thread for the singer who is not well, requiring at least one operation.

The nice thing to do would be to give her a bit of breathing space. It's not like she's dicking you around. However, make it clear the here partner that he is not going to take over the lead role.

Best wishes to her, even though I've no idea who she is.
Best wishes to her, even though I've no idea who she is.

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[quote name='sunburstjazz1967' timestamp='1464037247' post='3056061']
I've bust a wrist before and they waited a few months for me so I can't say much. Depends on how many other gigs you have lined up too?
[/quote]

In life crap happens, and that includes medical crap. I've had a band wait for me to get better before - once had a chest infection that took me out for the best part of 6 weeks. I guess you need to consider whether you think the band had promise when she's back and/or in a different line up in the interim.

It might be that the husband/partner isn't trying to take over the band and become the new lead singer but to make the best out of a bad situation, knowing that some stopgap needs to take place while his wife is laid up. He probably feels really bad that they are holding the band back while she's ill. However, and this might be painful to him given his relation to the singer, it would be reasonable to ask whether the band should look to get a dep in while she is still too poorly to sing. If she has yet to have some abdominal surgery she won't be back for several more weeks.

Edited by TrevorR
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Anything can happen to anyone at any time , but if they knew more than they told you at the start id be unhappy about that (maybe they didn't)

Also, IME of low level functions bands, a degree in anything musical has no bearing on talent

Best wishes to your singer and good luck with your decision

Edited by lojo
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[quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1464032984' post='3055993']
Depends on how quickly you want to be gigging, but being last in I`d see how the others are dealing with it. If they seem to be of the "oh, this again" view, I`d probably get out of there.

But, re the male singer, sometimes a good frontman can carry a band better than a good singer, if that singer has no stage presence. Again, see how the others react. Nothing to say it can`t be tried out.
[/quote]

And this too...

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The singer in my band was operated on in late November for a cancer which turned out to be NEAR his pancreas, not on it.
They hacked out part of his pancreas, bile duct and stomach & we thought he would be back in action in a couple of months. Turned out he has further symptoms & is undergoing chemotherapy, to which he is responding well.
The other three of us recruited an old friend to play keyboards (singer also was rhythm guitar & keys) and with me doing a lot of the singing we have been surviving the gigs already on the books.

We have a benefit scheduled for the singer (wife and 2 young children, no income) on June 26th with 5 bands a PA company and a local DJ compere`ng at a large-ish venue, ALL providing their services for free.
The only part that concerns me is whether or not there will be a band left for him to come back to once he is sorted out.
Suspect the same applies here.

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[quote name='solo4652' timestamp='1464028831' post='3055939']
Six weeks a go I joined a new band. Two things particularly attracted me;

- Lots of promises that songs would be agreed and people would learn their parts before rehearsals.

- Lead singer is/was a very good vocalist with a degree in popular music, loads of band experience. YouTube videos of her singing with bands were impressive. I like female-fronted bands. I'm in.

Important point; female lead singer lives with male backing singer/band frontman. I [i]think[/i] they're married, but I'm not certain.

Turns out that female singer isn't too well, bless her. She hasn't made it to any rehearsals yet, so I haven't met her. Apparently, she needs a couple of operations. Could be quite a lengthy process. Her partner - the band's backing singer and frontman/MC - is starting to suggest songs that he could sing lead to. In my opinion, he isn't a good enough singer to take over the lead role. A good frontman, yes - a good lead singer, no.

The female lead singer may be OK in a month. She might not. Nobody knows, but early signs are not promising and I'm concerned that her husband appoints himself as lead singer in her absence.

Am I being too impatient? Wouldn't be the first time.
[/quote]

My opinion, no your not being to impatient.

The reason your were attracted to the band is not 100% in place and nobody told you.

A good question to ask in the early stage of band prospecting would be;

"I saw your YouTube clips and website. Is the same personal lineup still in place or have there been some changes?"

Blue

Edited by blue
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[quote name='solo4652' timestamp='1464043430' post='3056130']
I'm meeting up with the guitarist this coming weekend to run through some of the songs. He knows both singers pretty well. I'll see what more he can tell me about whether she has a history of no-shows, and whether he knows anything more about her illness and prognosis. I'll also say that, in my opinion, her husband isn't a good enough singer to take over the lead singer role.[/quote]

Knowing How To Be In A Band

Since your the newest member, do they want that type of input from you?

Personally I'd keep my opinions to myself until I was in the band a little longer.

Blue

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It's a tough call but definitely try to get more info from the guitarist and take it from there.

Worse case scenario for me is putting in time and effort and it not ending up where you want the band to be. I would much rather bow out early than waste time in the wrong project.

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I'd see how it developes. If the band haven't gigged for a while due to lack of bass player they might be a bit rusty. Six weeks is 6 rehearsals or maybe less. You can use the male singer as a guide vocal and get the band really sharp and gigging ready by the time proper singer is match fit again. Find some gigs for say 2 months time, have a goal to work to.

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@countbassie, post #11

Thank you - I think this summarises my feelings. I have true sympathy for the female singer and her medical difficulties, and I genuinely wish her the best for her future. I've been in bands before that have waited for somebody to recover from illness and that's not a problem for me, within reason.

My concern is that her husband appears to be positioning himself to take over the lead singing role permanently if his wife is unable to commit to the band. I'm fairly sure he's trying to be helpful, but I just don't think he's a good enough singer to do that. At what point do I say that?

Another thing - both singers and the guitarist are good friends, and work together in the same office.

Edited by solo4652
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[quote name='Count Bassy' timestamp='1464048602' post='3056160']
I sympathize with the OP's situation, but am struck by the absence of any sympathy in this thread for the singer who is not well, requiring at least one operation.

The nice thing to do would be to give her a bit of breathing space. It's not like she's dicking you around. However, make it clear the here partner that he is not going to take over the lead role.
[/quote]

If I was in a band that that happened to a person I know, then yes I would have full sympathy with them but I would think the best thing would be to put the band on hold until they were better so that there was no additional stress about needing to hurry. I wouldn't try and take over in the mean time.
However, if I had just joined, I would realise, well this band isn't doing anything until she is better, so go away and join another band. When they are ready to gig again, which may be a few months or a few years, maybe come back to it if they wanted you.

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[quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1464032984' post='3055993']
But, re the male singer, sometimes a good frontman can carry a band better than a good singer,
[/quote]
+1

You could always turn the mic down! Maybe he'll improve if you're rehearsing enough? Choose songs he can sing and that suit his abilities.

If you leave now and the singer returns you've shot yourself in the foot. I'd carry on with this band but you need a plan B. Look around for another band, just in case. The 2 bands can overlap.

Edited by chris_b
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