Removing punters from the stage.

[Les]

Hasn't happened for ages and in fairness most of the places we play are usually full of nicely behaved punters but practically none of them have any security, other than the landlord.

Last night we had a couple of incidents, youngish bloke with a few down him jumped up next to the singer and jigged about smiling to his mates at how cool he was. We finished the song and the singer said to him off mic "you'll have to get down now" which he did.

Next one was a bloke pissed out of shape but harmless I think, we'd come off after the first spasm and he was well into it, shaking my hand but unfortunately speaking in tongues so I just smiled and wandered off, turn round and he's stood on the stage !

I just grabbed his arm and told him he couldn't be up there and led him away, no probs at all, like I say hammered but nice enough.

We're older and calmer these days so can pretty much handle any of the weird things gigging throuws at you in a easy going manner.

It got me thinking though, if someone is becoming a real problem can you actually lay hands on them ? I don't mean knock em' straight out as tempting as that might be, but physically eject them from the stage and maybe the venue ?

Les

[Trueno]

Pete Townsend was not above booting Abi Hoffman off stage at Woodstock... if the story is true.

I remember doing a corporate Christmas do at Chester race course, a few years ago now. The stage was more of a flat area at the top of some steps. They kept swarming up the steps with their arms outstretched... just like the zombie apocalypse. Scarey!

[Painy]

You just need one of these.... and maybe a mains plug adaptor.

Edited September 25, 2016 by Painy

[Graham]

I had to extract a punter from behind the drum kit last New Years, he didn't want to go, but a firm word and he moved.

[mep]

Recently a very drunk bloke was talking to me after the gig and almost feel into the drums I caught him with both hands and very firmly walked him off the (level) stage area whilst still holding onto him.

Edited September 25, 2016 by mep

[FinnDave]

We had a bloke wander onto the stage and try to talk to each of us in turn during a recent gig in Swindon. He then tripped and hit his head on the wall and laid himself out cold. We had to stop while the police removed him. He was last seen being carried into the back of an ambulance. Later turned out he wanted to buy us drinks and was trying to fin out what we wanted!

[chriswareham]

The bass player from Mega City 4 was well known for disliking stage divers and other pointers who'd scramble onto the stage at their gigs. His solution was a large booted foot on the offender's arse and then shoving them into the wings.

[Roland Rock]

I saw Iggy and the Stooges at Glastonbury 2007 - he invited the audience to invade the stage! There must have been a hundred people up there - total chaos. Iggy kept his cool, the guitarist walked off and the security guards finally managed to get them all off.
Rock n Roll

[SICbass]

[quote name='Painy' timestamp='1474823213' post='3140809']
You just need one of these.... and maybe a mains plug adaptor.
[/quote]

Want one!

[acidbass]

A rather infamous blues singer over in NI here once punched a woman in the mouth when she grabbed his mic. Absolute chaos!

[JapanAxe]

The bass guitar is a substantial instrument, and any part of it can be applied to the ribs of a drunkard/idiot to assist in propelling them away from the stage.

If you are not playing but need to guide a drunk off the stage, shake hands while simultaneously grasping their left lapel with your left hand beneath their right arm. Push their right arm down onto your left and they will tend to move forward to relieve the pressure.

Edited September 26, 2016 by JapanAxe

[deanovw]

https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=y24XI40p8dc

Keith Richards smacks unwanted guests with a telecaster

[SICbass]

[quote name='deanovw' timestamp='1474876238' post='3141107']
https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=y24XI40p8dc

Keith Richards smacks unwanted guests with a telecaster
[/quote]

Fortunately for him, his tuning is often so iffy anyway that it wouldn't be an issue. I must say, I like his style there though.

[bassbiscuits]

I've pushed a drunken clown offstage before now cos he wasn't taking the hint and I was getting fed up of him.

It wasn't a high stage - perhaps one foot high - so he didn't get hurt.

He clattered back onto the dance floor, looked round in a mixture of surprise/annoyance so i gave him a wink and a thumbs up, which confused him even more, and then he carried on dancing, presumably pleased that he'd got his 10 seconds of attention. Div.

Edited September 26, 2016 by bassbiscuits

[funkgod]

here is how you deal with it,
2:10 of this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uai7M4RpoLU

[Coilte]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyK0y02HvVc

[Bassassin]

I remember seeing Tool at the London Astoria in 1997 - a punter climbed onto the stage & Maynard Keenan floored him with what looked like a martial arts move & completed the song sitting on top of him.

Back in the real world, punters could sometimes be a problem when I when I was playing in a cover band around the Glasgow circuit. Between sets we'd often have to physically dissuade enthusiastically wrecked people from picking up instruments & howling down mics. All good-natured, fortunately.

[BrunoBass]

I've never encountered a hostile stage invader (yet) but we had a guy get up on on to our little foot high 'stage' at a recent pub gig who started to try to talk to our frontman mid song. My initial thought was that he must be drunk and was going to try and grab the mic. No, he was totally sober and was in fact try to ask if he could book us to play at a party. He obviously didn't want to wait until the break.

[amnesia]

I've read this through and a thought occurred to me...

Have any of you actually been 'that' punter?

[Jonesthebass]

I'm the customer service side of the stage at our regular gig. On weekends we have security as it's a vantage point for most of the venue but in the past I've dealt with punters that want to talk mid song which usually results on a very wet ear, I will use the neck of my bass as a barrier. I have continued to play one handed whilst pushing people off the stage. I'm the event of punters invading during breaks I unleash a very angry sweary person. I've been doing this for 20 years and the nice approach rarely works. I bollock them like a small child. If they don't have the common sense or decency not to mess with the bands equipment then I show no mercy.
They have no idea how much the gear is worth.

[EliasMooseblaster]

[quote name='PaulGibsonBass' timestamp='1474888127' post='3141220']
I've never encountered a hostile stage invader (yet) but we had a guy get up on on to our little foot high 'stage' at a recent pub gig who started to try to talk to our frontman mid song. My initial thought was that he must be drunk and was going to try and grab the mic. No, he was totally sober and was in fact try to ask if he could book us to play at a party. He obviously didn't want to wait until the break.
[/quote]

This, much like Dave's story above about a guy wanting to buy the band a round of drinks, are the most baffling ones. I've encountered heavily refreshed gentlemen who've wanted to get at the mic (and in my younger and angrier days I did shove at least one such punter off the stage into a crowd who were a bit fed up with his antics and told him to give it a rest), but why would you try and talk to a band member mid-song? If you saw someone was on the phone you wouldn't walk up and just talk at them, so why would you approach a band member when they're clearly in the middle of something and the stage volume is going to make it difficult for you to be heard? Mighty strange.

[Happy Jack]

I'm very disappointed to note that none of the above replies supply the essential information:[list]
[*]Height of bass player
[*]Weight of bass player
[*]Approx. state of fitness of bass player
[*]Degree of intimidation associated with bass player
[/list]
As a non-street-fighting man meself, trying to deck a drunken punter with my (very expensive) bass or kick him off stage with my boot to his arse would most likely lead to me spending the rest of the gig in A&E.

[Bassassin]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1474895310' post='3141303']
I'm very disappointed to note that none of the above replies supply the essential information:[list]
[*]Height of bass player
[*]Weight of bass player
[*]Approx. state of fitness of bass player
[*]Degree of intimidation associated with bass player
[/list]
As a non-street-fighting man meself, trying to deck a drunken punter with my (very expensive) bass or kick him off stage with my boot to his arse would most likely lead to me spending the rest of the gig in A&E.
[/quote]

I'm a non-aggressive, peaceable and to be truthful, downright cowardly person myself but just happen to look like a gargantuan psychotic murderer. Having gone through countless gigs - and in fact life in general - without experiencing a lot of violence or threatening scenarios, I'm starting to wonder if there's a connection.

[Cato]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1474895310' post='3141303']
I'm very disappointed to note that none of the above replies supply the essential information:[list]
[*]Height of bass player
[*]Weight of bass player
[*]Approx. state of fitness of bass player
[*]Degree of intimidation associated with bass player
[/list]
As a non-street-fighting man meself, trying to deck a drunken punter with my (very expensive) bass or kick him off stage with my boot to his arse would most likely lead to me spending the rest of the gig in A&E.
[/quote]

I'm 6ft 4 and about 14 1/2 stone, thanks to a recent health binge I'm in the best shape I've been for years.

There is no way I would get myself into any kind of violent confrontation with a pub drunk.

For a start they've generally had more practice at that sort of thing, then there's the unfortunate fact that even if you 'win' the first round they may fancy a second round, possibly with addition of a few of their mates.

Lastly the law is almost certainly not on your side when it comes inflicting injuries on someone trying to get on stage.

Edited September 26, 2016 by Cato

[seashell]

[quote name='amnesia' timestamp='1474890706' post='3141236']
I've read this through and a thought occurred to me...

Have any of you actually been 'that' punter?
[/quote]

Only this morning a somewhat embarrassing video appeared on Facebook, featuring glimpses of me dancing enthusiastically to a friend's band's rendition of'You Never Can Tell'. At least I didn't attempt a stage invasion.