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Finding a band.


Left Foot
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Writing about this feels a bit awkward because finding a band to me is a bit like finding new friends, its definitely a social thing for me, so I'm basically recapping on how you've all made friends and how I should go about making new friends differently - even thought I don't feel I struggle at all socially.

I know a fair few musicians who are signed to indie labels but they don't have the time to join new projects ( they may just suspect that I'm not a serious musician because I don't have their status, fair enough ). There are some people I have jammed with but this falls down after a month or two because its either a case that I can't get a whole band set up together or the individuals end up being really flaky and I loose patience. The keen musicians I speak to at gigs and around are always enthusiastic, mainly because they've just seen a good show, but they fall into the above type of person. Its also annoying that whilst rock (and the sub genres) are supposedly inclusive, the people at these gigs seem soo clique and socially 'astute' that I kinda feel rejected in some way even though I know being in a band with faces who want to be seen more than heard would be awful.

I just cant get anything off the ground. I've not been playing in a band for about 8 months (haven't gigged in a band set up for well over 18 months) and I'm getting really fed up, really really fed up. GF says its not that I'm getting old, but the social circle that I used to know has thinned out and playing loud sh*t for fun has become a bit more obscure for people. Its making me feel crap thinking that being in a band just isn't really accessible to me. I live near London FFS, it should be easy!

I'm not good enough to play in a function band, I hate playing someone else's bass line and my dream isn't really to play for a living, its to play for fun. Thing is, that doesn't sound unreasonable in my head... it might sound like I've alienated myself but I just know what I want and its never really been difficult to find before. I'm not bringing loads of preconceptions to the table, I like the groovier gain heavy rocky stuff like all the original bands are playing.

Is this normal? I don't think I can just wait this out so what gives?

Edited by Left Foot
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People in good, happy, settled bands should be grateful. Once it is over it can be very hard finding or starting another. I know this from current and past experience! :(

Sometime the planets just align and everything falls into place. Not very often though... There are a lot of unreliable time-wasters and dreamers out there (particularly on Join my Band, but that's another story!).

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[quote name='Conan' timestamp='1487077497' post='3236783']
People in good, happy, settled bands should be grateful. Once it is over it can be very hard finding or starting another. I know this from current and past experience! :(

Sometime the planets just align and everything falls into place. Not very often though... There are a lot of unreliable time-wasters and dreamers out there (particularly on Join my Band, but that's another story!).
[/quote]

This +1

I'm in a similar position, really trying to get something together but I often feel very much like I am usually the one chasing which is super frustrating. My big problem at the moment is finding a decent drummer who isn't already in 12 different bands and barely has time to sleep let alone joining another project. In my experience a lot of the bands looking for bass players round Manchester tend to be punk/metal bands which I'm just not that into any more, not sure what the London scene is like nowadays. Don't get me wrong I enjoy a bit of drop tuned, aggressive head banging every now and then but I don't want to be in that kind of band. I'd much prefer to play some solid funk grooves, alas it doesn't seem there are many available musicians who share the same desire.

The advice seems a bit old hat but there's always the option to get down to local jam nights, it does feel pretty clunky and the conversation is usually pretty awkward until you start becoming a regular. For what you're after I'm not sure what sort of jams are local to you but that would be where I'd start. I'd imagine there's probably some more rock orientated open mic nights.

The key I've found is to try and stay optimistic and not give up, I've been actively looking for a band for about 6 months now and I've had a couple of false starts but I just dust myself off and keep searching. I figure there must be other musicians out there that share the same desire to play in a band, sure I might have to compromise a bit but bands tend to be pretty democratic.

Good luck with the search man.

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I'm not very experienced but I have been in that situation - especially hard stuck in the sticks 25 miles from the nearest city and with a local music scenes dominated by singer/guitarists and folkies. What worked for me is two-fold FWIW:

- if you can can even vaguely interest yourself in a genre that lends itself to jams/open mic nights, like blues and to some degree jazz, start going and keep going until you've been heard by and met enough people to start talking about forming bands. It can take a while but once you're in the offers will happen. And if you don't especially like that genre you might find fellow travellers who want to play what you want to play. I'm not specially into blues but I'm now in a blues funk band through exactly this approach

- go to festivals and gigs looking for a band you like without a bassist. Approach them and offer yourself for a try out on a 'no bones broken if it doesn't work' basis. You never know, they may have been saying they needed a bassist and didn't know where to start looking!

Both those approaches worked 100% for me.

Edited by lownote12
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Bar the occasional dep work I've all but given up on joining/forming a band. My main problem is finding pretty much anyone playing anything with similar tastes and ideas. Where I live metal, punk, blues and general rock bands are ten a penny but they don't interest me. Heavy funk, breakbeat/hip hop influenced stuff is where I'm at. Just keep putting the word about and mebbe something will crop up is all you can do really

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[quote name='Conan' timestamp='1487077497' post='3236783']
People in good, happy, settled bands should be grateful. Once it is over it can be very hard finding or starting another. I know this from current and past experience! :(

Sometime the planets just align and everything falls into place. Not very often though... There are a lot of unreliable time-wasters and dreamers out there (particularly on Join my Band, but that's another story!).
[/quote]

Totally agree with your comments about Join my Band, the amount of dickheads I encountered on that site was unbelievable.

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Yeah, I'm out talking to people a lot but maybe I shouldn't be so desperate. I go jam nights and can play different styles , but then you get some upstart give you chapter and verse about what he needs and then he struggles to even describe what genre the music is, that happens a fair deal. The 'song writer' almost always ends up being a procrastinating dreamer with no handle on things. I just like noisy bands and think they are a laugh. Coming home from work with nothing to do except TV is crushing! I'm literally waiting for summer to play some twilight rounds.

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[quote name='Left Foot' timestamp='1487102745' post='3237187']
I just like noisy bands and think they are a laugh. Coming home from work with nothing to do except TV is crushing!
[/quote]

i know that feeling mate, the way my wife and i are scheduled at work that is pretty much every evening for me during the week.

round here, people who are my age with the same levels of experience are either in solid bands, or have lost the desire to do it anymore.

i haven't played a gig since august 2014 as a result, and having tried things with a new crowd nothing has stuck either because the music isn't what i want or the other members are not as reliable or experienced as they need to be in order to get anything meaningful going.

my friend and i have put our old band back together and are recording stuff in my house, but we are trying to find a drummer, and the response we have had is lukewarm, and those we have tried have been totally not what we are looking for or not reliable.

it's harder the older you get, so i envy those who are in bands that are stable.

music is addictive, and when you are unable to fulfil that buzz in any meaningful way its soul destroying.

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I've suffered from this from time to time, and just how much I'm bothered about it tends to depend on how good or bad the experience of my last band has been. But I do find that if I don't do something pretty quickly I cross that dividing line between being "somebody who plays the bass but isn't in band at the moment" and "somebody who owns a bass but doesn't play in a band" - usually at the point where I stop regarding being able to watch TV on a Thursday night as a treat because the band can't rehearse this week, realise that watching TV is what I now do on a Thursday night, and wonder what the point in me having an SVT in the spare room is if I'm never going to play through it. Weeks turn in to months, then in to years and being in a band becomes something I used to do...but then something usually turns up.

I'm always very conscious of the difference between wanting to "play" in a band, which involves time in a rehearsal studio, playing gigs, etc; and "being" in a band which seems to involve telling everybody in the pub that you're in a band but very little of the actual playing.

Edited by Monkey Steve
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[quote name='Conan' timestamp='1487077497' post='3236783']
People in good, happy, settled bands should be grateful. Once it is over it can be very hard finding or starting another. I know this from current and past experience! :(
[/quote]

The last stable band I was in folded 5 years ago , had a really good run of 10years of great gigs .

I have been in a few projects and short lived bands since then, but deep down I knew that they did not have the same chemistry of of the old band .
I try not to beat myself about not being in a gigging band , I am optimistic, but I find I reach for the bass less and less and pick up the acoustic guitar a lot more .

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I guess I was lucky!

One band formed out of a random collection of people jamming together once or twice a month through JMB adverts. The collective got asked to do a support gig for a local band and it coalesced into a band in the blues/classic rock genres.

The other band I joined just as that happened - rock & metal covers. Clicked with the guys immediately and it's been fun from there.

Part of it has to be the mind-set you approach it with - there has to be compromise and flexibility. having gigs to aim for is a real boon - it focuses people's minds into the task at hand. Perseverance is possibly the key though and being willing to cut your losses if something isn't gelling.

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[quote name='Left Foot' timestamp='1487169023' post='3237719']
Ah man, what the f*** this sucks guys. Kinda hoping that you'd know someone who was spare but this just reads depressing.
I hate playing in my house, I'm like, whats the point. I've been looking for drummers more recently but gonna change tact and try find some guitarists.
[/quote]

The one thing I have learned is that there isn't one thing that works. There's no magic wand to conjure up exactly the right band members all keen to do exactly what you want to do. So try everything - musician wanted ads (both placing and replying to) everywhere you can think of (rehearsal studios, local press, on line, etc), chatting to musicians, whether mates or like minded people, Meet Up groups, whatever.

And if you're doing nothing else, then just doing something, even if it's not your ideal scenario, isn't a complete waste of time.

Maybe the guitarist you find knows a drummer you could ask if it works out, maybe you join a covers band and find that everybody actually wants to be doing originals. If you're getting frustrated at not doing anything then at least do something even if it's not exactly what you want

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[quote name='Barking Spiders' timestamp='1487090711' post='3236967']
Heavy funk, breakbeat/hip hop influenced stuff is where I'm at.
[/quote]

It's where I'm at too. However I'm also into gigging 2-4 times a week and getting paid.

At the local and regional level If I had held out to play in bands that play what I like I'd never have the opportunity to gig or make any money.

Depends on what your looking for. If gigs and getting paid are not requirements for you I think you will eventually find something.

When we're looking for paying work we have to be very flexible on what we will accept.

I know rock guys that are playing in country cover bands because they have paying work.

Blue

Edited by blue
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[quote name='Monkey Steve' timestamp='1487169632' post='3237730']And if you're doing nothing else, then just doing something, even if it's not your ideal scenario, isn't a complete waste of time.

Maybe the guitarist you find knows a drummer you could ask if it works out, maybe you join a covers band and find that everybody actually wants to be doing originals. If you're getting frustrated at not doing anything then at least do something even if it's not exactly what you want
[/quote]

Excellent point!

In other news... my fledgling project, which already included the drummer and rhythm guitarist from my last band (both of whom I have known for decades), have now added a vocalist (friend of the drummer and an ex-colleague of mine) and a lead guitarist from... wait for it..... JOIN MY BAND!!!! :o

So I guess we are actually a "band" now"! Is it sad that I'm a bit excited? I've never actually formed a band before :blush:

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Don't give up! I moved to my current area not knowing anyone and left an ok band that I had become good friends with... Joined a start up covers band that inevitably failed as it had no real direction. But the drummer from that band put me in touch with what looked like a really professional covers band, Facebook and Twitter set up, photos of big outdoor gigs, etc. They held auditions and I had to sit and wait while another bassist played then left... Seemed too serious for me who, like you, just wants to play good songs loud and have a few beers... But turns out the band are like that too. The singer is a pub landlord who has rehearsal as his one night out with the boys of the week, gigs are when we can all make it with nobody getting a shoeing for not brig available... Been in the band almost a year and made some great friends and playing what to my mind are good quality gigs for a few quid to cover costs. It is out there, you just need to kiss a lot of frogs first, so to speak.

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As my band is finding, it can be very hard to find people. Our girly singer threw a flake and walked out at New Year, and we've been looking for a replacement since.

It's not for want of people answering ads. We've had at least a dozen who sounded enthusiastic, loved the set list and thought they'd be able to fit in really quickly. Then, almost guaranteed, they pulled out the night before the "audition".

One guy turned up and was absolutely awful (but funny). Another guy turned up and was totally brilliant - amazing singer, professional, owned an enormous PA. Hands were shaken, promises made, then he told us he had a few solo gigs booked so we better compare schedules. We compared schedules - he was booked every Fri and Sat until April 2018. You have to wonder why these people even reply to an ad ... though I suspect he just fancied having a blast with a band rather than backing tapes.

Got a bloke coming down on Friday evening, but honestly I fully expect him to pull out today. Not that he's given any indication of that, but the law of averages and all that.

So ... no, it's not easy!

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[quote name='blue' timestamp='1487176112' post='3237786']

When we're looking for paying work we have to be very flexible on what we will accept.

I know rock guys that are playing in country cover bands because they have paying work.

Blue
[/quote]

+1 In my short time on your planet my first band as a bassist was a country dancing ceilidh band. And I'm a blues/ jazz man. But they were pulling down £250-300 a night every couple of weeks. And they weren't much good. The really good ceilidh band round here pulls up to a grand a night and has a busy diary.

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[quote name='lownote12' timestamp='1487251486' post='3238374']
+1 In my short time on your planet my first band as a bassist was a country dancing ceilidh band. And I'm a blues/ jazz man. But they were pulling down £250-300 a night every couple of weeks. And they weren't much good. The really good ceilidh band round here pulls up to a grand a night and has a busy diary.
[/quote]

Is this not another thread though? Like...."Would you rather be playing music you love, that challenges you, for petrol/break even money? Or just going through the motions and gritting your teeth, playing rubbish, for 100 quid a gig?" If we work on the assumption we already have a full time job I would always go for the former. If it was my only source of income then obviously I would go for the money and keep looking for a decent band.

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[quote name='HengistPod' timestamp='1487235653' post='3238183']
As my band is finding, it can be very hard to find people. Our girly singer threw a flake and walked out at New Year, and we've been looking for a replacement since.

It's not for want of people answering ads. We've had at least a dozen who sounded enthusiastic, loved the set list and thought they'd be able to fit in really quickly. Then, almost guaranteed, they pulled out the night before the "audition".

One guy turned up and was absolutely awful (but funny). Another guy turned up and was totally brilliant - amazing singer, professional, owned an enormous PA. Hands were shaken, promises made, then he told us he had a few solo gigs booked so we better compare schedules. We compared schedules - he was booked every Fri and Sat until April 2018. You have to wonder why these people even reply to an ad ... though I suspect he just fancied having a blast with a band rather than backing tapes.

Got a bloke coming down on Friday evening, but honestly I fully expect him to pull out today. Not that he's given any indication of that, but the law of averages and all that.

So ... no, it's not easy!
[/quote]

I think this is why bands hate the audition process, no shows, cancellations and goof balls, to name a few.

Blue

Edited by blue
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I was lucky.

5 years ago I was targetting only established bands (bands that are known locally and have consistent paying work). The band that I was most interested in was local to be said we should talk. Just happened they were looking to replace their bass player. I auditioned 3 times and then got the offer. We're still going strong after 11 years.

Now,the down side. I'm jaded. I'm too used to consistent gigs,being paid in a more then timely manner and working with good,experienced and trustworthy people.

When this band folds, I doubt I will be able to find anything that would meet my requirements for joining a band.

Blue

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Most of us should be able to access whether a band is a match from the audition.

Off topic;

For those of us in this for some income, it's a good idea to ask what percentage of their business is from "call ins" and what percentage is from call outs or reaching out to opportunities.

Blue

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I'm 69 and formed a new 6 piece band about 3 months ago, so age has little to do with it. I already play in two other bands, but I saw a gap in the market in my area for a particular genre, and decided to exploit it. I just rang up the people I thought would be a good fit, explained what I was doing, and they all said yes! We have four gigs in the next couple of weeks. This may or may not help you. Check us out on FaceBook, Marty's Juke Joint.

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[quote name='blue' timestamp='1487286293' post='3238739']
Most of us should be able to access whether a band is a match from the audition.

Off topic;

For those of us in this for some income, it's a good idea to ask what percentage of their business is from "call ins" and what percentage is from call outs or reaching out to opportunities.

Blue
[/quote]
Not sure what you mean by 'call ins'& call outs'?? Not a term that I'm familiar with.

For what it's worth, the last audition I did was over 20 years ago (and that was a farce). I just refuse to audition for local bands and I've been gigging solidly since that last one. It's all about your contacts and reputation - of course it helps if you can play a bit and can get on with people...

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