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Is it just me?! Bloody musicians...


AndyTravis
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So a drummer I've gigged and depped for previously gets in touch...

"Hey Trav, want to do some new stuff - get away from the wedding game. You in?"

'Yeah, was thinking I wanted to get back gigging now Maggie is a bit older (baby has just turned 1)'

"Great, you got some other guys?"

'Yup, got a few people I'd invite'

"Winner, shall we get together?"

'Yeah, I'll sort it'

So I got in touch with a keys player who I've played with a good while ago

"Ah mate! Yes, I'm in!!"

And he goes off and buys a Nord! Pretty cool.

Two guitarists - both well in, and one announces he's knocking his other band on the head and the other guy says "I know this'll work for me and I'll prioritise this over my other band who are so lazy, they do my head in!"

Book a rehearsal space. All good "guys I've booked the room for Wednesday "

All respond that it's ok.

Then the morning comes - keys guy (who's bought a bloody £1200 keyboard to gig with...)

"I can't make tonight, something has come up"

Drummer

"I can't make it - I have to work...and I don't really want to do this at the minute..."

When it started with him.

The little group chat we had on WhatsApp was quickly vacated by both (they've never met face to face as a point...)

So the rehearsal space was going to cost us no matter what as it was too short notice to cancel.

The guitarists can both drum to a level so we had a bit of a jam. But overall it was a waste of time.

New drummer, singer and keys player are being lined up.

Round two soon.

But my problem is, why do people get embroiled in things they don't actually want to do? Just odd.

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Had this recently with singers we've been auditioning.
Had about a dozen responses to our advert for a singer. Been half a dozen that we've wanted to see and booked 3 evening slots to audition 2 people at a time. Each time one of them (always the most promising guy and the seemingly most enthusiastic too) has dropped out at the last minute leaving us to pay for rehearsal space just to audition a single person.

We're seeing someone this evening but with just him to see I really hope he turns up!

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Funny you should mention it. I have been in lots of bands, as a drummer, a guitarist and as a bassist, so no agenda. Had lots of problems with vocalists, and other musicians, but never with a bassist. Is it just me?

Edited by mikel
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[quote name='T-Bay' timestamp='1501580827' post='3345598']
The buzz of a new project, then the realisation of the hard work required perhaps?
[/quote]

We're all really experienced so hard work isn't a concern really, no massive agenda so no pressure.

Also though why agree to do stuff, and even buy new gear just to knock it on the head straight off?

I reckon we'll get sorted with the new guys, singer is a bit older than us (50's vs late 20's/early 30's) so we can enjoy his experience and professionalism (in theory).

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i've found this a lot, especially as i have got older, people seem to like the idea of it, but either don't really want the hassle or have so much going on they can't commit.

i know this because i've been in the same situation, but normally im honest up front and say if im not into it. i certainly wouldnt leave it until the day then bail out.

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[quote name='RockfordStone' timestamp='1501585091' post='3345655']
i've found this a lot, especially as i have got older, people seem to like the idea of it, but either don't really want the hassle or have so much going on they can't commit.

i know this because i've been in the same situation, but normally im honest up front and say if im not into it. i certainly wouldnt leave it until the day then bail out.
[/quote]

Agreed. Sometimes folks want to say yes because they don't want to say no, rather than actually wanting or being able to.

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I joined a band, just as the other members decided to have children. They were all popping sprogs and buying people carriers, like they were going out of fashion. We were paying for a rehearsal room that nobody rehearsed in. After 18 months inactivity I decided it was a lost cause and joined a band that actually gigged, occasionally.

I make it a rule now that I don't join a band unless the members are serious. No chartered accountants, Doctors, lawyers,, orthopaedic surgeons, financial advisers or dentists, with young families, need apply.

The members of a band need to be hungry and love music. I class myself as semi-pro, with a professional's attitude. I don't want to be associated with dilettantes (my former band mates were all lovely people but liked the idea of being in a band, more than the actual reality of being in one).

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[quote name='Kevin Dean' timestamp='1501585389' post='3345658']
Don't get me started .
[/quote]

To be fair, the drummer lad gets in touch whenever he needs a bassist or is looking for a paid gig.

Guess who's number I've "lost" in the last couple of days...

And the keys guy, well...I'll probably have lapses in replying about "exciting new singers" he's "discovered".

Not my issue, looking forward to meeting new guys.

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Pick 5 friends/acquaintances and tell them you're getting some people together for 5-a-side/a curry/parakayaking/something-else-they'd-all want-to-be-in-on and would they be up for it.

"Yes !" They chorus.

Now try and get them to agree a date and then have them all turn up.

I'm not saying musicians don't seem especially flaky, but it can be like herding cats even without music involved.

Just a thought.

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[quote name='ahpook' timestamp='1501585356' post='3345657']
Agreed. Sometimes folks want to say yes because they don't want to say no, rather than actually wanting or being able to.
[/quote]
exactly that.
i tend to spend all of my time saying no to people, which has a downside in that people don't ask anymore because they assume i will say no haha

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For a while I played with a drummer who was "sick to death of playing covers in pubs" - agreed we'd do some of our own stuff. Got together about 4 numbers over about 4-5 weeks when he announces he's been offered some gigs playing covers in some pubs...

I thought he was "sick to death.." of this....

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I am actually guilty of this. Not something i make a habit of, but i've been trying to put a new band together recently and finally found people to play with - but then I was suddenly faced with the biggest workload ever. I am self-employed so if good work comes my way I have to take it, which would not normally get in the way of music, but this time the workload was immense and I had no choice but to put everything else on hold.

So it's not always that people are flakey, sometimes life, priorities and mortgages get in the way. Bands are easy when you're 19 and have nothing else to do, but it can be a bit more nuanced later on in life.

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[quote name='ahpook' timestamp='1501585356' post='3345657']
Sometimes folks want to say yes because they don't want to say no, rather than actually wanting or being able to.
[/quote]

Yes, that would seem to be the explanation. However, it's not logical, considering they'll end up saying no in the end . :scratch_one-s_head:
*"[size=2]*Asks himself...."since when were musicians considered logical ?"[/size]

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[quote name='Coilte' timestamp='1501598347' post='3345791']
Yes, that would seem to be the explanation. However, it's not logical, considering they'll end up saying no in the end . :scratch_one-s_head:
*"[size=2]*Asks himself...."since when were musicians considered logical ?"[/size]
[/quote]

Or people for that matter !

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Yeah, i think my problem stems from "ok to book the room?" And getting the reply "yeah great stuff" fully knowing letting us down on the day meant we'd have to fork out for it.

Not "sorry lads, been called in, do you want me to pay my bit?"

Not how I'd act.

But even though I've stepped in for him and helped out at short notice previously for gigs...he's flaked on me before.

And although it's been rare for me, others have said the same.

I like the guy, but I won't be musically associated with him again.

The keys guy can polish his Nord...

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[quote name='AndyTravis' timestamp='1501602851' post='3345847']
Yeah, i think my problem stems from "ok to book the room?" And getting the reply "yeah great stuff" fully knowing letting us down on the day meant we'd have to fork out for it.

Not "sorry lads, been called in, do you want me to pay my bit?"

Not how I'd act.

But even though I've stepped in for him and helped out at short notice previously for gigs...he's flaked on me before.

And although it's been rare for me, others have said the same.

I like the guy, but I won't be musically associated with him again.

The keys guy can polish his Nord...
[/quote]

This.

It's one thing to say "sorry, I can't make that night" or "well, I have a lot on so finding the time is going to be difficult/I can only do Sunday afternoons/whatever" but it's something else to announce on the day that you're not showing up when it's too late to cancel the booking. OK, sometimes life gets in the way and there's no way that they can actually make it, but unless it really is a complete emergency I would not be at all forgiving, especially if I'm left picking up their share of the bill. Had one former band mate who was always late to practices, and quite often would ring up when the rest of us were there claiming that he'd been held up and couldn't make it, but sadly didn't have the brains to remember all the lies he'd told (so would tell us that he was two hours late because he'd had to work late, then a couple of weeks later would forget and would let slip that on the night his girlfriend had made him go food shopping and then he'd waited for her to cook him something to eat before setting off for the practice he'd have been on time for had he done the shopping on a different day). It wasn't the reason for sacking him, but it made it very much easier to make up our minds when we sacked him for another reason.

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[quote name='blue' timestamp='1501603054' post='3345852']
At this point in my life, I can't think of a reason I'd committ to a "start up" band.

Blue
[/quote]

And the flip side question that needs asking if joining an established band "what happened to the last bass player?".

I'd honestly say that learning to play an instrument to a level good enough to get out gigging is easier than getting an actual band together!

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