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Hate mail!!!


3V17C
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Had a pub ring us up last week because they'd had a cancellation and needed a band. (Apparently we'd been recommended to them by another of their regular bands). Was a small country pub which we'd never been to before. We were pretty wary of volume because of the size of the place and were all a bit dubious about it because of its quiet country pub vibe. (We are a Classic Rock/Metal covers band playing Thin Lizzy, Deep Purple, AC/DC, Whitesnake, Saxon, Maiden etc) The place soon got quite busy, people getting right into it and we got loads of positive comments and promises of rebookings etc. A pretty good night.

So was very surprised to recieve the following email this morning!!!

[color="#2F4F4F"]Dear All,

I was unfortunate enough to catch your gig at the xxxxx at xxxxxxxx last night.
I have never before in my life had the misfortune to witness 5 grown men looking so ridiculous and sounding so God damn awful. Can you all please note that it is now 2007, not 1980..!!
Your performance was just one huge procession of crap music played badly and as loud as your equipment would allow. I managed to put up with your onslaught for 10 minutes and then had to leave the building. It was the musical equivalent of aural rape.

I don't doubt that, were you to respond to my criticism and attempt to improve matters, your answer would be to recruit a third guitar player....... 'cos two guitars playing the same old tired riffs with exactly the same sound must?be better than one right...??
And so three must sound better than two...???? But then, why stop at three....

Finally, just one more observation, the tall geezer with the Les Paul slung just below his testicles...... Pleeeeeease...!!!

Valhods.[/color]

To each his own I guess but how annoying!!!! Grrrrrr.... I have of course sent a reply back!!!


peace

c

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The people that enjoy gigs rarely track you down to let you know that they did. It's just some bitter twisted individual that just got thrown out of a band pouring his vitreolic down the nearest vent hole.

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Having identified a Les Paul, he's obviously a muso of some sort.... he's probably feeling all insecure cos he's realised how sh*t his own band are. Obviously a coward with a dick the size of a gherkin. Ask him when his band are playing next, so you can go along and then slag them off afterwards too.

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Sounds to me like your music had precisely the RIGHT effect, if he had to leave after 10mins and all the punters who were having fun stayed. What's to be bothered about? :) One less tosspot in the audience is a GOOD thing.

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Dear Valhods,

Thank you ever so much for your kind words, I must admit its not often we recieve fanmail of such a constructive nature.

Firstly let me comiserate you on the bad news you clearly recieved recently - it must be hard trying to find like minded musicians who can truely understand you, what with your laid back approach and gentle demeanor.

Furthermore, we would like to welcome you back to the stage at the next event we play at [insert pub name/location here], as we feel that you clearly have a lot of valuable input into the way we should act and operate. As grown men, we understand that for some people it is hard to swallow that some folk just have more talent than oneself. We also understand that some people have too much time on thier hands, and thats why we would like to offer you the position of Triangle player in our band.

We where all deeply touched by your sensitive, kind and caring email - and we can see from just the first message that you are a very special boy.

Regards,

[insert band name here]

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[quote name='3V17C' post='71008' date='Oct 8 2007, 01:03 PM']Had a pub ring us up last week because they'd had a cancellation and needed a band. (Apparently we'd been recommended to them by another of their regular bands). Was a small country pub which we'd never been to before. We were pretty wary of volume because of the size of the place and were all a bit dubious about it because of its quiet country pub vibe. (We are a Classic Rock/Metal covers band playing Thin Lizzy, Deep Purple, AC/DC, Whitesnake, Saxon, Maiden etc) The place soon got quite busy, people getting right into it and we got loads of positive comments and promises of rebookings etc. A pretty good night.

So was very surprised to recieve the following email this morning!!!

[color="#2F4F4F"]Dear All,

I was unfortunate enough to catch your gig at the xxxxx at xxxxxxxx last night.
I have never before in my life had the misfortune to witness 5 grown men looking so ridiculous and sounding so God damn awful. Can you all please note that it is now 2007, not 1980..!!
Your performance was just one huge procession of crap music played badly and as loud as your equipment would allow. I managed to put up with your onslaught for 10 minutes and then had to leave the building. It was the musical equivalent of aural rape.

I don't doubt that, were you to respond to my criticism and attempt to improve matters, your answer would be to recruit a third guitar player....... 'cos two guitars playing the same old tired riffs with exactly the same sound must?be better than one right...??
And so three must sound better than two...???? But then, why stop at three....

Finally, just one more observation, the tall geezer with the Les Paul slung just below his testicles...... Pleeeeeease...!!!

Valhods.[/color]

To each his own I guess but how annoying!!!! Grrrrrr.... I have of course sent a reply back!!!
peace

c[/quote]


Nothing wrong with a tall geezer and a low slung guitar, I've been gigging with a band for the last few weeks doing the same type of stuff, we probably got the same set list as you mate :huh: and it goes down a storm.
There's always one :) , with nothing better to do, has a huge knowledge of music, blah, blah, blah. What a pointless little man.

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yeah I kinda read into it that he was a musician too....anyways heres my reply to him! (bear in mind it was a country pub)


[color="#000080"]Hi there

Ha ha! - Thanks for that - seeing as you've taken the time to write in then I'll take the time to reply. It certainly cheered me up on a Monday morning! To be honest yours is the first negative response we've got .......now, if you'll allow me to retort......

Firstly, it was a surprise to receive your email as I wasn't even sure that the internet had been discovered out in your neck of the woods. I suppose you're right though, it IS 2007, but even so it must be difficult typing with webbed fingers while perched on a bale of hay surrounded by sheep looking for a little bit of affection of the kind that only you country boys can give.

Yes, in your view we may look ridiculous (I'm the one with long hair by the way so probably the most ridiculous looking of all? - oh no - hang on, that'll be our singer! :-)) and we may play dated, cheezy rock from the 80s - BUT - that is what we do! We are a Classic Rock/Metal covers band after all! Surprisingly for you perhaps, but there are alot of people who do like that music! We could hardly go out playing Artic Monkeys or Razorlight now could we? ...and at least none of us wear spandex or wield a flying vee! (By the way we have two guitars because most of the material we cover originally had two guitars on it - we wouldn't go to three guitars because only Iron Maiden do that and even we think thats a bit ridiculous!!!)

We normally play at larger venues than xxxxxxx and we only played there because we were recommended by someone who, unlike yourself, rates us as a good band. In fact in rock circles we are considered to be pretty good which is why 200+ people come and see us on our home town gigs. I think also that you were perhaps in a minority because most of the comments we got after the gig Friday were along the lines of 'best band we've had in here all year' and 'far too good to be playing pubs'. Also by the end there were alot of young ladies dancing to us which is always nice to see - I won't say much more as being locals they may well be related to you - perhaps your sister or your mother ....or possibly both rolled into one? I've seen the big-eared boys on farms.....

Also, reading into your comments about guitar sounds/'tired riffs'/Les Pauls etc I assume that you're maybe a musician yourself? If so, regardless of what type of music you're into (or not as the case may be!) you should appreciate (as we do) that everyone has different tastes and of course not everyone is going to like the same thing, but at least we're out there doing it. We go out, we rock out and if you don't like it you can get the hell out!....oh .... you did! Fine by us.

Keep an eye on the gig listings for next year at xxxxxxx though because theres a good chance that we'll be back at some point and when we are I'm guessing you'll want to be as far away as possible! In the meantime take it easy and make sure you protect those eardrums of yours you delicate little flower!

Peace[/color]


ah....feel better now!

c

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Guest Bald Eagle

How Funny! I observe his/her letter though is in the singular so obviously a billy no mates out on their own on aFri/Sat night. If you were that sh1t you'd have presumably been heckled and slagged off on the night, I guess you were not. As opinions are like ar$eholes though I would suggest Valhods takes his/her head for a well overdue sh1T.

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Unfortunately I don't live close enough to East Anglia to have seen Clive's band but listening to the mp3 samples on their web site (which always sound worse than the actual live sound) I'd say your emailer's a complete dick. My soon to be defunct band play similar stuff and we usually go down fine even in fairly 'straight' venues, though a regular poster on this forum thought we were basically sh*t without seeing us in the flesh.

Edited by KevB
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[quote name='woodenshirt' post='71052' date='Oct 8 2007, 01:55 PM']3V17C,

I think I know who sent it........

You're based in Lowestoft, so your hate mailer has to be Justin Hawkins!

Just call me Poirot,

Mart[/quote]

haha..... i have actually been mistaken for Justin Hawkins before (although i hope my teeth are in better shape than his!!) and a few people at this gig on Friday kept calling me that too! the swines!!!!

i found his email to be quite funny, trouble is theres people in the band who are, unbelievably, more insecure than me who might take it to heart! live and let live is what i say, and of course the guy is entitled to his opinion so thats up to him. he had the option to leave, which he did. his loss, we had a good night all told.


cheers

c

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[quote name='3V17C' post='71042' date='Oct 8 2007, 01:43 PM']yeah I kinda read into it that he was a musician too....anyways heres my reply to him! (bear in mind it was a country pub)
[color="#000080"]Hi there

Ha ha! - Thanks for that - seeing as you've taken the time to write in then I'll take the time to reply. It certainly cheered me up on a Monday morning! To be honest yours is the first negative response we've got .......now, if you'll allow me to retort......

Firstly, it was a surprise to receive your email as I wasn't even sure that the internet had been discovered out in your neck of the woods. I suppose you're right though, it IS 2007, but even so it must be difficult typing with webbed fingers while perched on a bale of hay surrounded by sheep looking for a little bit of affection of the kind that only you country boys can give.

Yes, in your view we may look ridiculous (I'm the one with long hair by the way so probably the most ridiculous looking of all? - oh no - hang on, that'll be our singer! :-)) and we may play dated, cheezy rock from the 80s - BUT - that is what we do! We are a Classic Rock/Metal covers band after all! Surprisingly for you perhaps, but there are alot of people who do like that music! We could hardly go out playing Artic Monkeys or Razorlight now could we? ...and at least none of us wear spandex or wield a flying vee! (By the way we have two guitars because most of the material we cover originally had two guitars on it - we wouldn't go to three guitars because only Iron Maiden do that and even we think thats a bit ridiculous!!!)

We normally play at larger venues than xxxxxxx and we only played there because we were recommended by someone who, unlike yourself, rates us as a good band. In fact in rock circles we are considered to be pretty good which is why 200+ people come and see us on our home town gigs. I think also that you were perhaps in a minority because most of the comments we got after the gig Friday were along the lines of 'best band we've had in here all year' and 'far too good to be playing pubs'. Also by the end there were alot of young ladies dancing to us which is always nice to see - I won't say much more as being locals they may well be related to you - perhaps your sister or your mother ....or possibly both rolled into one? I've seen the big-eared boys on farms.....

Also, reading into your comments about guitar sounds/'tired riffs'/Les Pauls etc I assume that you're maybe a musician yourself? If so, regardless of what type of music you're into (or not as the case may be!) you should appreciate (as we do) that everyone has different tastes and of course not everyone is going to like the same thing, but at least we're out there doing it. We go out, we rock out and if you don't like it you can get the hell out!....oh .... you did! Fine by us.

Keep an eye on the gig listings for next year at xxxxxxx though because theres a good chance that we'll be back at some point and when we are I'm guessing you'll want to be as far away as possible! In the meantime take it easy and make sure you protect those eardrums of yours you delicate little flower!

Peace[/color]
ah....feel better now!

c[/quote]

Beautiful reply mate, I pissed myself, especially webbed fingers and mother/sister thing
Jake

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[quote name='cheddatom' post='71074' date='Oct 8 2007, 03:20 PM']Yeh, it's a cool quote to go on the back of CDs or any promo stuff.[/quote]


Thats a great idea, we used to get hate mail on our band forum when I was with a Tribute Band. They never tell you to your face, its always by e mail or forum.

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We've only ever been criticised once (that I can remember), and that was on the internet. They guy attempted to be constructive about one of our songs, but he had trouble explaining himself.

It's pretty pathetic though, that people actually bother to take time write to (in their own opinion) a sh*t band, just to tell them in as clever way as possible (in their own opinion) that they're sh*t. I can't ever imagine myself being bored enough. I've seen bad bands in the past, and had a little giggle with my mates about them, or maybe moved to the back of the pub, or sat outside, but, i'd never actually tell the band that I didn't like them. It's just not helpful.

Sometimes, if I see a band play, and I think they have potential, or I liked them, but saw problems, I will go and try to offer them a bit of advice in a nice way (I hope). Just tips about tone really. I wonder if these bands just think i'm an idiot :-/

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[quote name='cheddatom' post='71090' date='Oct 8 2007, 03:50 PM']Sometimes, if I see a band play, and I think they have potential, or I liked them, but saw problems, I will go and try to offer them a bit of advice in a nice way (I hope). Just tips about tone really. I wonder if these bands just think i'm an idiot :-/[/quote]
Possibly - from what I've seen people seldom take much notice of unsolicited advice no matter how constructive it is. I've seen it before where good advice is rejected out of hand as its seen as criticism or oneupmanship. If someone hasn't asked "what do you think?" its usually best to keep quiet.

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Heh, yeh, I should have said "when I know some band members", otherwise I know i'll look a dick! Some of the bands I know will really listen to me, 'cos i've done mixes for them etc, where as others I get the impression I should have kept my mouth shut.

It's just so annoying when you see a band, and they could sound so much better! That's another topic anyway, sorry.

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