Rickenbacker - because John Hall
Wetherspoons - because of Timmy, and because why would I do that to myself anyway?
Scottish Power - redefining 'useless' in incredibly imaginative ways
SSE - useless as above, but also a bit dumb... it worked out great when they refused my money despite my insistence, but it could have gone the other way just as easily... I got caught in a surreal situation where my supplier (SSE) thought I had ceased to be their customer and moved to Eon. To cut the story EXTREMELY SHORT, as it wasn't as simple as it sounds oh no!, Eon knew nothing about me and according to them they had never dealt with my address or myself, ever. The whole thing took a couple of months to come to some semblance of resolution: according to SSE I ceased to be their customer for a period of X weeks, I forget the number, but I returned. So the £161 or so from the gap due to the time they considered I wasn't their customer, was not theirs and they refunded me. I didn't owe them that money, they said, I wasn't their customer then, they insisted.
Meanwhile, Eon was sitting down listening, vaguely amused... and they just stood up and left, shaking their head. Thank you SSE for the £161, but you showed me that should I have a problem where I'm losing money, I'd be fooked, and for that reason, I'm out.
Hewlett Packard - frustratingly quirky
I was going to say Apple as I've been very much anti-Mac since around 1990 for most of the reasons already mentioned... but I have an existential problem: they make a few things VERY very well, and (I feel dirty) I have been considering giving them my money recently.
Cillit Bang - because of the annoying TV guy...
UKMail - the fact they're still 'functioning' amazes me. I could write a book with my dealings with that (spit) company. But it would be an extremely boring book that nobody in their right mind would buy