i think its important that you take pride in your appearance- if you can go out and say 'i look the nuts' then thats all that matters. we all have different opinions on clothes
im at a disadvantage that im a singer with an ian brown haircut and massive eyebrow(s), and a certain manc frontman jumped on my look 15 years before me
however, our bassist turns up in football shirts to every gig which irritates me so much.
a lot of the kids bands that play all look the same, and i know of a few who have been signed, because they have the look, somecant play live.
as regards with the where to look, i was playing in ipswich, and some kid in the front was dancing really weirdly, like he was taking the piss. hard to explain really, but something wasnt right! i spent about two songs eyeballing him, and was getting really wound up, so much so at the end of the set i threw the mie down and stormed off.
he came up to us about ten minutes after, turns out he were, well a bit 'special'!!!!!