TimR

In the 3 piece our guitarist/singer is offset centre/stage left in front of the kit enough for drummer to be seen. Then I'm stage right just to the side of and in front of the kit. In the 4 piece it's the same but the guitarist is stage left mirroring me.

In a gig situation? Yes. Only a few people will hear them as intended.

House Land and Right. If you're self operating from the stage turn the PA to face the back if you think it may get confusing. Also, it doesn't really matter as everything should be mono.

Yes. We also have 'house lights', and 'front of house' PA.

Stage Right is right hand side looking from the stage towards the audience. House Right is righthand of the stage looking at the stage from the audience (house).

What's the rest of the band doing? They should all sticking to the correct tempo with you?

Well yes, if the band agrees it needs to change, but that change should be rock solid. If the drummer is speeding up or slowing down seemingly at random and not giving any visual cues then the band has a problem. If they know the drummer has a habit of doing it, then they shouldn't let it move.

I think you're missing the point. The band should be rock solid. If the band is rock solid, the the drummer, being in the band, will also be rock solid. If the drummer is not rock solid and the band is, then the drummer will be dragged into line by the rest of the band.

Ultimately you have a band of musicians who can keep time. Or you don't. The drummer can't alter tempo if the musicans don't let them.

No idea. I played with a drummer for several years who couldn't up the tempo gradually because it doesn't work like that. The drummer is human. I refer you to @dclaassen above.

The drummer can't speed up if the bass player doesn't.

As I say. Only if you let them and continue with the mindset they do. 🤷‍♂️ The drummer is just another musician in the band. Everyone has to go along with them for everything to speed up. If everyone else sticks to the tempo, the drummer cannot speed up. It's a nonsense that so many musicians don't understand, the drummer doesn't control the band.

I seem to be in the minority in standing stage right. It does have the advantage of in small stages you can get in the gap just right of the drummer. I've never had an issue hitting cymbals with the headstock. I have had issues standing stage left and hitting the wall.

It's not the drummer's job to keep the band's time. I said I wished more people realised that and understood it. The first paragraph of the link says its the drummers job to keep time. Pretty much proving my point that too many people (mainly drummers) think it is the drummers job. Even the OP realises that the drummer isn't there to keep the band in time. The band can do that themselves - especially when the drummer isn't able to and needs a flashing beacon stuck in their line of sight. I wasted years playing with a drummer who sped up if I stopped playing. Every song we played I had to lean back on the beat in order to keep time. One gig I had had enough and went with him on the final song. It just crashed and burned when it was going so fast the singer couldn't get the words out. The singer tore him a new one afterwards.

See my previous post.