Leaderboard

I have fallen into one of those traps, where you see people making guitars and think, 'well, how hard can it be'. Luckily I am not stupid enough to actually believe that and assume it is harder than the talent I have, but regardless, I have decided to give it a try. So I am going to build what I want, and what I can't get, which is the shape of an Ibanez Fireman, which is an Ibanez iceman turned upside down, with a bit of a cutaway for the high frets. Also a narrow string spacing, 10mm at the sharp end and 15mm at the blunt end. No-one makes any of this (the Ibanez fireman is a Paul Gilbert signature guitar with no bass option), so my only option is doing it myself. Obviously I have to build the body myself as there aren't any (actually there are some on eBay but a lot of money and the wrong pickups), but I am not building a neck as that sounds like the step that I haven't got near yet, so I bought a neck off eBay with a paddle headstock so I can cut it like an iceman (for some reason the fireman has the iceman headstock, i.e., upside down), and luckily Ibanez did make a 5 string iceman so I know how they did that. And I have an iceman so I can measure it! Here is the neck Not the highest quality but it is straight and does have a truss rod, so that is a start. I have a cad program too, so I have drawn out the shape I want: And cut it out on plywood as a template to see how it works out sidewise. The only slight problem there is I don't know about the neck join, because turning the iceman upside down you have to cut a shape out to get the high fret access, but obviously the iceman has the cutaway on what is now the top side, whereas I need it at the bottom. Wing it I guess. I also have 2 matched bits of poplar of the right size coming from eBay, and a router from basschat. Tools wise I have a drill, jigsaw, workbench, sander, files, chisels and a few other bits and pieces. And no talent at woodworking that has ever surfaced. So, because I am one for starting something and not finishing, I thought I would put it on basschat so that a) you get to laugh at my incompetence, b) people can suggest when I am doing something really stupid and c) I can be hassled into doing something. So what could possible go wrong?.....

VOCALIST REQUIRED FOR TERRIBLE BAND Unreliable egotistical diva required to sing badly before their voice fails half way through the second song of each two hour set. The ability to come up with various poor excuses and not turn up for gigs and practices less than half an hour before they need to be there is a must. Must also be able to argue equally with ALL other band members and have tantrums on and off stage whilst maintaining a drunken and/or stoned condition. The ideal applicant won't even turn up to their own audition and preference will be given to applicants who have extremely poor personal hygiene. If you think you can live up to these high expectations you probably won't be arsed to respond to this advert, if not please feel free to message me here.

Park Royal 2002 The drummer in our pub r'n'b band went back to his Merseybeat outfit (better money) so we needed someone to fill some previously booked gigs. We saw about five potentials, two of whom stood out for all the wrong reasons. Drummer B was a rather ethereal little Scottish chap who sidled nervously into the room and approached the rehearsal room kit as if it would bite him. It became clear that he was both terrifically shy and entirely unacquainted with the concept of 'the shuffle'. In the hope of jollying him along I walked over during a break and started chatting to him, whereupon his eyes filled with tears. 'Please don't stand so close to me,' he said in a flutey Highland accent (I was about five feet distant). 'It's very intimidating'. Well, he didn't get the job. Drummer D was your archetypal skinny rock dude, just back from the States and keen to get gigging again. After one song his face turned crimson and he collapsed over his kit. 'Just ... getting ... my ... breath ... back, ' he wheezed. 'Bit ... out ... of ... condition'. We gave him a quarter of an hour and counted off a mid-tempo blues. After a couple of minutes he collapsed again so we gave him the soft word and sent him on his way. A day or two later he emailed me saying how much he wanted to be in the band and attaching pictures of himself in ladies' lingerie including one horrifying shot where he was bent forwards, his butt cheeks clearly visible through the sheer silk panties which swaddled his nether regions. Pass. Eventually we gave the gig to drummer E who after the audition professed his undying admiration for our musical skills then called me a day later to say his wife had listened to our tape and she thought we were sh*t so he wouldn't be coming again. Back to the drawing board.

Aaaand three.....two,,,,,,one, you're back in the room.

Morden TTT is the guitarist who placed the advert. He fancies singing some of the material, and he knows that I sing a bit, so he reckons we can split the vocal duties between us ... if a decent vocalist can be found later then all well and good. Yes, everybody involved will be an experienced gigging musician, this is no 'hobby band'. The drummer from his old band is already on board with the project, so straight away we have a functioning 3-piece if we want it. We agree a date for a week later and a studio to meet at, and TTT sends me a list of 12 songs we'll do, who by and which version, and the key that we'll be playing in. This is all very professional and not something to be taken for granted with pub bands. I pick out three songs that I'm happy to sing straight away, TTT does the same, and we agree that we'll busk the remainder on the night and see who makes a better job of it. This is looking good. Next day TTT sends me an email saying how much he's looking forward to this. The day after, TTT sends me an email asking how I'm getting on with the songs. And then the next day he sends me an email saying that he's now got a 'really good vocalist' who's going to join us, so there's no need for the two of us to do vocals. The day before the rehearsal, he sends me a final email checking that I'm fully up to speed on all the songs. Finally I turn up at the studio. TTT is a big guy (sideways) but just as bouncy and enthusiastic as his emails suggest. The drummer is a big guy (like Mick Fleetwood) and very laid-back. There's no sign of the vocalist ... apparently he's spent the afternoon at the dentist and now can't make it. Allegedly. Oh dear. Neither TTT nor I have actually been practising the vocals for these songs. At least I know the lyrics of 'my' songs, I'm blessed with a good memory. TTT has pieces of paper. Then the second guitarist arrives. What second guitarist? Oh, he answered the ad too so TTT invited him along. We start with Shakin' All Over, TTT on the vocals. The drummer sounds like a man with a wooden leg walking along a wooden pier ... boom thump boom thump. That's all he does. The guitarist, who must be about 60, doesn't seem to recognise the song or know how it goes. He's kneeling next to his Fender Twin as if he can't hear himself (he's actually deafeningly loud) and he's staring at his fingers as if he's never seen them before. TTT is trying to sing while glancing at a piece of paper resting on a ledge to his side, so that he sings "when you move ... close to me ... that's when I ... all over me". Oh dear oh dear. Move on to the next song. Guitarist says he hasn't practised it and isn't really ready to play it. OK, the one after that then. Guitarist says he hasn't practised it and isn't really ready to play it. It's I Saw Her Standing There, fer Chrissakes, how can he not know it? Fine, turn this on its head ... what songs DO you know? Grand, he knows Summertime Blues. He launches into a series of power chords, in the wrong key. What the hell are you doing? I'm playing Summertime Blues. No you're not, that's the wrong intro and you're in the wrong key. Well I'm playing The Who's version from Live At Leeds, and it's in A. But we all agreed we'd do the Eddie Cochran original, and it's in E. Oh dearie dearie me. By this stage, the drummer has completely lost interest, TTT is visibly as frustrated as I am but has done enough to show that he can't actually sing, and it turns out that I'm the only vocalist in the room. In desperation I call the simplest 12-bar in G that I know. It's yer standard two verses and a solo, third verse and a solo, repeat third verse and out. I sing the first verse. When I start to sing the second verse the guitarist widdles ineffectively all over my singing. TTT and I start exchanging glances - what is this fool doing now? He plays a simple but actually quite reasonable solo, still kneeling by his amp, still staring at his fingers. I start to sing the third verse and he goes back to his useless widdling. Sod this for a game of soldiers. I stop playing, switch off and start packing up. Words are exchanged, and it very nearly comes to fisticuffs as I leave. The next day, TTT sends me an apologetic email. He doesn't suggest we try again. Neither do I.

For someone like me, the best time to start studying music properly and learning to play bass properly is roughly 50 years ago. I'm well aware that the next line is supposed to go: and the next best time is now. But actually I'm not convinced. With any luck, I'll have another 15 years of active playing ahead of me. I really don't fancy devoting maybe the first (and best) five of those to playing scales and arpeggios, and studying modes. That would almost certainly improve my playing (I'm setting the bar low here) by making it possible for me to do all sorts of things which I cannot now do and ... erm ... can't honestly say that I miss much. Techniques like slapping, tapping and sweeping are of less than zero interest to me. Playing bass solos strikes me as one of the least attractive aspects of rock music. Pinch harmonics? In 1970s pop music? I don't think so. How many great rock songs are in the Phrygian mode? Somebody start a list would you. I'm not sneering at musical knowledge or study. I'm simply pointing out that there are far too many people out there - and here on Basschat - who declaim as a matter of proven fact that it is always better to study music. Bollocks. Horses for courses, and moderation in all things.

I’ve got it virtually finished just got to string it up and it’s all done I think it looks loads better than the white body In hindsight I probably should have spaced the knobs a bit further apart but hey ho it’s all part of a learning curve I kinda like the Chrome I might no bother changing to Black........

I remember a few year's ago we auditioned a singer, we gave him two weeks to learn six very well known songs, anyway, when he turned up, he had his girlfriend with him who sat in the corner of the rehearsal room, we asked him which of the songs he wanted to start with, he hesitated and after a long pause, he finally suggested one but then said he would have to have listen to it on his phone first to remind him how the song went, obviously we all looked each other fearing the worst, and sure enough, he didn't have a clue how the song went, so we then suggested trying one of the other songs and exactly the same thing happened, luckily for us, his girlfriend stood up and said to him, "come on, let's go, you haven't even learn't the songs, have you? you are wasting these guy's time", she then apologised to us all and proceeded to march him out of the room, I don't think I would have wanted to be him on the way home.

For B2A etc but it's the same hardware: http://www.hohner-cshop.de/en/Guitar/Headless-Bass-Series/Basses-Bass-Headless-BB/Hohner-B2A-Headless/

Remember to change the white strings for the black ones for more playability - white ones are sticky and need to be covered in talcum powder - I kid you not!!

Not as bad as drummers who set up and leave cases all over my gear!

One band I'm in has given up rehearsals, we use gigs to learn new songs!

If you are successfully using a 112 then any quality 12" PA speaker will probably work for you. If you are playing decent wedding gigs then really you shouldn't be cutting corners with your gear. Go for RCF, QSC or top range Yamaha and you are likely to get something that will handle the bass you need and prove reliable. If you can afford it then it's always a good idea to think about using the same speakers as monitors that you use for PA. That means if something goes down mid gig you can do a straight swap and just go on playing in most cases.

Put the video up on here, we can give it marks out of ten.👍

Or that when polishing the ports in the cylinder head you broke through from one port to the next and resorted to rebuilding the wall with araldite.....(this is based on a true story...ahem)

Acton Unusually, this time it is me who placed the advert. Dispirited by how many auditions for other peoples' projects have turned out to be fiascos, I decide to try starting a band myself. With a drummer friend ready so that we have a decent rhythm section to build on, I advertise for a vocalist - guitarists are easier to find. Once I've weeded out the obvious flakes & fantasists by email, I'm left with one decent candidate for the role, so I invite him to my studio in Acton for a try-out. He's keen to accept, and he also knows a really great guitarist he'd like to bring along. He sends me some links. MMM, the vocalist, has some YouTube showing him doing a pretty impressive Van Morrison at some sort of open mic, he seems to be an intense, focused sort of person. VVV, the guitarist, is apparently an American now based in London, whose self-published album (recorded in New York) is available on Spotify and contains some very nice guitar work. When the two of them arrive at the studio MMM is very much as he appeared on YouTube. VVV isn't, and things go all to stinky poo very quickly. Actually he isn't American, and his name isn't VVV. He's a Spaniard called JJJ. Huh? What's going on here then? It turns out he loves Americana so much that he'd wanted to record his first album in the States, under an American pseudonym. OK, so far so weird. We try to play a simple blues and it very quickly becomes obvious that JJJ (the artist formerly known as VVV) is no great shakes as a guitarist. In fact, he's pretty rubbish. He explains that he didn't know the song. Erm ... it's a blues mate. What's to know? We try another song. Same result. Well if you can't play those because you don't know them, why not tell us a blues that you DO know. "Fine", he says, "let's play Red House". We wait for the famous guitar intro and ... he plays something completely different. We ask him, what are you playing? He says, I'm playing Red House. No, we say, you're not. Ah, he says, maybe this is a different song called Red House. Game over. Insert new coin. As we're packing up I ask JJJ about his album, and how he'd set about recording it. Simple. He'd recruited a bunch of NY session musicians to play on it. That, plus a decent sound engineer, had produced quite a good album. Having shoo'd the pair of them out of the studio and then wet ourselves laughing, I call MMM the next day and ask if he'd like to meet for a beer. I explain that there's no future for any band with JJJ in it, but that we haven't had a chance to hear what he, MMM, can do. Would he like to come back for another try, this time without his mate JJJ? He accepts the offer, so I call up an old friend to play guitar for us and we set the date. MMM arrives and we play the first song. I wasn't wrong about his Van Morrison persona - he's got that whole Brown-Eyed Girl thing down to a T. We play another song. It sounds ... erm ... just like the first one, that strange barking, almost-coughing delivery, very gruff, very distinctive. Very repetitive. As long as we're playing material that works with the that vocal style, it's sort-of OK. When we try a pop song it just doesn't work. When we try a gentle blues it's horrible. We point this out to him and suggest that he tries a different style occasionally. He reacts badly, says that's the only style he can sing, in fact we get the impression that he's not even aware that other singing styles actually exist. All very odd. The session breaks up in some disarray and it's not looking good. Next morning, MMM emails me to apologise for both his performance and his attitude. He explains that he has a serious problem with autism and is at the far end of the spectrum, but that he's being treated for it. Incidentally, he has now signed a recording contract (!) with an agency looking for new talent, and would the three of us like to be his backing band? I make my apologies and leave ...

Uxbridge BBB is the guitarist who placed the advert. He's building a new band from scratch to replace his recently-imploded previous band. He has a drummer, and he has a second guitarist who also wants to try vocals, so he's looking for a bass player and he's also keeping an eye out for a dedicated vocalist ... the material he wants to do (Guns n'Roses, Lenny Kravitz, etc.) will benefit from a proper front man. He's had three applicants who he thinks could work, and we'll each get an hour in the studio. I'm up first, 6pm start. BBB turns out to be very easy company and a very competent guitarist; he is also very clearly The Boss. This is his band and he'll make the decisions. I have no problem with that approach so long as I know about it in advance, so that's cool. Although BBB is about 50 (and I'm a bit older than that) his drummer turns out to be a 20-something lady, which is unexpected. She is really rather good, and is absolutely there on merit rather than to be decorative. There's no sign of the second guitarist. The three of us get ourselves properly set up, chatting as we go, but the clock is ticking. BBB mentions that he's asked a vocalist to come along later for a try out. At 6:20 the second guitarist breezes in carrying two guitar cases and wearing a large rucksack. He's about the same age as BBB, so the average age in the rehearsal room goes back up. I'm pretty frustrated that one third of my allotted time has been wasted. Then it gets worse. Second guitarist - who is, incidentally, a lovely guy - opens his rucksack and takes out half a dozen cardboard boxes, each one containing a pedal. Then he opens each box and places the pedals around the base of his mic stand, along with a power supply and some patch cables. One of the pedals is a VoiceTone Harmoniser, which will add the appropriate harmonies to your voice depending on what key you are in. For this to happen, of course, you must route both your mic signal and your guitar signal through the pedal. 2nd G shuts down the PA in the rehearsal room (which BBB has carefully set up), starts moving XLR cables around so as to have the extra connection he needs. It's now 6:25, we haven't played a note, and 2nd G is nowhere near being ready to contribute anything. Enough already. Drummer launches into Are You Gonna Be My Girl (Jet), I come in with the bass line, BBB comes in on guitar, we get to the first line ("one two three take my hand and come with me") after the regulation 30 seconds, and 2nd G drops everything, grabs the working mic from BBB and starts singing. He's not good but I've heard worse. Halfway through the first verse his singing falls apart. "I feel totally naked" he says. "I can't sing like this". He picks up his (unplugged) guitar and we start again. With a guitar in front of him he sings a bit better, still not good. It's 6:30, 2nd G is standing in a puddle of unconnected equipment, in front of a switched-off Marshall stack. This ain't great. BBB persuades him to give up on the clever stuff and at least get his guitar working. He plugs in, switches on the amp, lights glow, but there's no sound. He twiddles knobs and checks connections, but there's no sound. To hell with this, on to the next song. 2nd G is now visibly distracted by his lack of an amp and his singing isn't improving. When we finish the song he starts twiddling knobs again. Nothing. BBB goes over to join him and they both twiddle knobs. Nothing. Finally I've had enough. I step over, look at the amp, and say "you're on stand-by". It's 6:35 and we finally have a functioning 4-piece band. We play the third (yes, third) song and actually we don't sound at all bad, though BBB keeps telling 2nd G which settings to adjust to make him sound right. Then BBB says that the new vocalist is due. What - during my audition? BBB goes to look for him and comes back with a 20-something guy, so the average age plummets again. Thanks to the re-wiring by 2nd G it takes a few more minutes of downtime to get the vocalist set up with a functioning mic. BBB tells him which of the songs he has supposedly prepared we will play next, and the vocalist immediately whips out his smartphone, goes online, and gets the lyrics up on screen. Apparently it was too much like hard work to actually learn them. Then he sings. Flat. He has no sense of the phrasing of the song and, given that it was a big hit some years before he was born, it is entirely possible that he's never tried to sing it before. Jesus wept. BBB makes encouraging noises, which are entirely inappropriate under the circumstances, and we try another song. Same result. It's very hard to sing convincingly when you're staring fixedly at a 4" screen just in front of your face. Then BBB says that the next bassist is due. Hang on - I've got another 10 minutes yet! He goes to look for him, leaving me with the other three. As we chat, it emerges that the third and last bass player who will be trying out that evening is a friend of the drummer's. Well thanks a bunch for mentioning that guys. If I'd known that sooner I wouldn't have bothered to turn up. I don't actually reveal my feelings (I'm not entirely stupid) but I am now aware that there isn't a cat in hell's chance of getting this gig. I pack up and leave, friendly to everyone, a smile on my face. Next morning BBB emails me to thank me, compliment me on my playing, and confirm that the gig as bassist went to the drummer's friend. Quel surprise, mon brave!

I am a simple man. I see a Tiny Desk Concert and I press like. There's no sessions from them that I didn't like. They have awesome groups there all the time.

Until you start using some of this modern gear that clearly replicates every bodge you've been getting away with for years!

I am so lucky right now. After years of really quite deeply unpleasant personalities I've found a keeper. I turned up at the audition and she met me at the car and started to help carry my gear into the rehearsal. Brought me drinks, paid for food and drives the band to gigs, has zero ego I can detect and rehearses every bit as hard as any musician I've ever known and considerably harder than most. Buys lots of expensive equipment, organises rehearsals, books gigs, helps pack down, works really hard on stage. Despite having the vocal ability to be the absolute focal point of any band she sees herself as the equal of us all. Even the drummer which I think is being unnecessarily hard on herself.

Anyone offer any reviews or experience please?

"Postage via myhermes"... any bets on how many pieces it'll arrive in?

Literally crying! Funniest thing I’ve read in ages!!!

aaand we're live! www.thebassgallery.com

^^^ might have been tempted to say "Boom, tish!", but I don't think your drummer could even manage that.

Once had a drummer answer an ad. At that time we were semi-pro. He said he was more of a jazz drummer but could play all styles. We picked him and his drums up, lugged them and their cases up the narrow attic steps to where we rehearsed and watched him set up his impressive kit in anticipation. Finally, it came to the time where we would play one of the songs we had given to him on cassette a week earlier. Two second later, it becomes apparent that this clown cannot play at all! He was the worst I have ever heard. Maybe it was some obscure jazz he played? No, turns out he was a rich kid living in fantasy land. He literally sounded like a five year old picking up sticks for the first time! Now normally I'm very patient in rehearsals but not this day. I had to look at the singer and say "Get him flipping out of here before I throw him and his kit down the stairs". Now that would have sounded like jazz!

Can't wait for this. There was a guy on FB trying to match Dug's tone with a Helix (and did very well) but most of the time I cannot be arsed in carrying my rack around.

++++ to that Yes it was something different for me...and great to play with another bassist....who could helpfully point our where we up to when I got lost. Quite a lot pf root fifth going on though....

I feel your pain bro, a Precision neck on a Jazz is a very good option for both playability and tone (re the latter, don't listen to the folks who say the neck makes no difference)! You can do what I do, build a very nice bespoke bass from parts from here and eBay that will likely be as good if not better than most production models and probably a lot cheaper. I currently have a lovely FL Jazz with a unlined Warmoth Precision neck (44mm at the nut) with ebony board, a stunning mahogany (I think) body, Wizard 64's, CTS circuit with series/parallel, and ashtrays, all of which I pulled in from here and eBay for under £250 by searching around and being patient. The same quality bass new would be at least £1000. Only downside is that it weighs the same as several trucks

Nice one! I enjoyed watching it come together, well done!

I agree - looks nice and I prefer it to the white body. Cheers

I think active PA speakers tend not to have more than a couple of inputs. You might have better luck looking at keyboard amps. Here's an example (not a recommendation - I haven't used it): http://www.laney.co.uk/products/ah80/

And the type of fingers used

Hello and welcome

The ones on my AH200 are 25mm diameter and 7mm deep, while the hole is 10mm entry (or roughly the same size as the washers, obviously!) and 5mm exit.

So I finally got my Elwood custom! It was a long 16 weeks but wow is it worth it - everything about it exactly as I wanted! Some specs 32"Medium Scale Haussel pickups Series/parallel switch Seafoam green with matching headstock And of course, here's a picture

It can make a difference health wise though. Having a bad technique can cause wrist strain etc.

I wear odd-coloured socks, with rules about which colour goes on which foot. I also forage for wild mushrooms. I can identify pretty much every petrol engine configuration by sound. I got my forum name because I didn't eat my crusts! There's a few for starters...

Only buy black basses so your missus doesn’t realise when you’ve bought a new one...

I’ve used the EXL 170’s for maybe 20 years or more. Tried other stuff but always come back to them. In all that time never had a duff string either. For me they feel spot on, and sound well balanced. Last a reasonably long time too, and the two pack sets are usually the best price wise.

And a third happy smooth hound user here.

Very happy with my SmoothHound too.

Quick update on the QSC K10.2 - done about a dozen gigs with it now and it's been fantastic, no lack of grunt and handles an active 5 string with no issues playing motown, soul, disco, pop and a bit of old rock. I'm using it on the default setting at the moment although the bass amp setting was also great, both give lots of volume and clarity. Input B is configurable for a high impedance input so it doesn't matter if your preamp pedal can't drive a regular powered monitor properly. I just use it with the Fishman Pro Platinum, leaving most settings flat apart from adding compression and backing off on the brilliance control a little. Get a go-to sound without any fiddling, just gives a faithful representation of my bass. The real revelation has been placement options with it being so small, having more room on stage while still being able to hear myself clearly is a massive bonus for me as I'm pretty tall, don't think I'll ever go back to using a traditional amp. My MarkBass rig is being picked up by it's new owner on Wednesday and my BFM Omni 10.5 is also up for sale. Keeping the little EA cab though, that thing it too cute to sell although I no longer have an amp to power it.