Leaderboard

This isnt a "hell audition" but we did laugh. A lot. We were a fresh from school band. All of us between 18 - 20. Quite well known on the "local scene". Our set list was fairly heavy rock. Metallica, Free, RATM, Led Zep, Black Sabbath etc. One of our guitarists was going to university so we were auditioning guitarists. We had 3 or 4 people coming to a practice to audition. We sent them all emails with 3 songs to learn, and aid if they had BVs or vocals it would be a massive bonus. The songs were "Wishing well ", "Black dog" and "Enter Sandman". So first guy turns up. Long hair, pointy dimebag guitar, Tight jeans, big boots, a amp and cab that was far too big. You get the picture. Nice enough though, had a chat as he was setting up, got on fine. Looking good. He tells us he can sing a bit, and would be happy to have a go with "Wishing Well". Fair play to the man. So he starts.... "You hear me , so clearly....." He starts singing Wet Wet Wet's version of Wishing Well. Brilliant. We were all crying laughing. The guy clearly felt a little embarrassed, but we couldn't stop. Too funny! DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!!

Bristol, 2011 The last audition I had was for a band that the drummer who was in my jazz band had joined about six months previously. The band had regular gigs but didn't have a bass player up to that point as there 'wasn't enough money to pay a fourth person'. Anyway, they wanted a double bass player and the drummer wanted me in the band so he booked a local rehearsal space and the singer/guitarist drove the 60 miles from his home to Bristol for the occasion (which he moaned about all the way through the audition). I'd learnt the songs from the album the band had just recorded - it was pretty easy as there was no bass on the album, so I could just do what I wanted and it was all Johnny Cash style G/C/D stuff. Easy peasy. The singer/frontman bailed out of the session half an hour before it was due to start as he'd forgotten he was supposed to be playing football. No problem says drummer, the guitarist can sing the other guys parts. The audition got underway and everything seemed good to me. The drummer was mostly playing along with the guitar as that's the sound they had evolved without a bass player, but the drummer and I had been playing jazz together for the past three years so I wasn't bothered about having to play along to a non-standard drum part. The guitarist wasn't happy though..... when the drummer asked him how he felt it was going, all he could say was 'I dunno - it's not what I was expecting'. Further questioning from the drummer revealed that he actually didn't know what to expect as he'd only ever done solo stuff and had never played in an actual band before this one and had never played with a bass player before. No problem says the drummer, we'll have a proper rehearsal next week, before the next gig with singer/frontman and we'll see how much better it is. Fast forward to next weeks rehearsal, the frontman/singer bails again because he has a hangover... so we go ahead anyway and rehearse the set. Drummer is happy, I'm reasonably happy but guitarist still doesn't know if I sound like he thinks he wants it to sound, even though he can't explain to me what that sound is. He's also demonstrating an alarming tendency to be unable to remember which key the songs should be in. Drummer reckons we're all sorted for the gig next week. I'm less convinced. Alarm bells should be ringing - I've not yet met this flaky singer/frontman who I'll meet for the first time at the gig next week and the guitarist is still being very non-committal about whether I'm in the band or not. it's only my faith in the drummer and his insistence that 'everything will be cool' that I'm not walking away - but it's not looking good from my perspective The gig comes round and I meet the singer/frontman for the first time. He's actually a pretty cool bloke and apologises for not being at the audition/rehearsal, but admits that as he's never been in a band with a bass player before, he would have no idea if I was any good or not and therefore would have no meaningful input to make. Fair enough really. The gig goes pretty well, the band's fans say they love the addition of bass, so I'm in if I want it..... 7 years later I'm still in this band. we do 60+ gigs a year and have released four albums. Not all auditions from hell end up staying in hell. The original guitarist is gone though - he whinged one too many times about having to drive to Bristol for 2 gigs and two rehearsals a year.

It’s nice to see my thread running long term Welcome to any new FRFR converts as well. My K10.2 is still number 1 stage choice..

Bit harsh there. This a 'bug' type product where you can slot the transmitter directly in to the input jack if you choose. The tape idea is optional if you want to make it more secure using it this way. Every other bug type receiver is the same in my experience. At least the smoothhound can handle many different types of input jacks, unlike several other bug type products. You can also use it the traditional way by attaching the transmitter to a belt or strap. this is the way I do it. If you're used to using many different wireless systems over the years without sticking something to your bass then this would be the way to go.

Blandford 2012 Having played in a swing quartet for a couple of years, I ditch electric bass gigs as upright has taken over &, at the ripe old age of 51, discover Skiffle. Swing quartet won't move away from standards/western swing, so I decide I've got enough free time to find a gigging Skiffle set up alongside the jazz lot. See a "Bull-fiddle" player wanted for established Skiffle band advert on BandMix. Establish that they mean double bass (crazy Skiffle-rs' me thinks) and pop along to local consevative club skittle alley for audition. Turns out established band was an old fella (OF) & a younger (40's) drummer. I'd practiced the list of songs I'd been sent (not particularly difficult, but I'm looking forward to a fun & energetic set). I set up my bass/amp/music stand (forgive me, it was a rehearsal situation) and tall stool which I often use in a rehearsal. We start with obligatory "freight train", which "established" guitarist/ singer has difficulty singing & playing the guitar to, is slowing down & speeding up. However, the drummer is excellent & we quickly establish a nice groove...exchanging nods & smiles. However at the end of the song, OF decides I am at fault for not "keeping up" & starts to comment on the strings on my bass being "wrong kind" for this genre (I clearly hadn't researched)....I ignore, smile politely & we move onto next simple enough song. Same thing happens again, OF can't remember how songs go, but establishes with no lack of confidence that I am at fault. Anyway an hour into the "audition" OF decides it's time for a break. I decide it's time to pack up & go. Whilst he's gone to the loo I speak to the drummer, & ask how long he has been playing with OF, to which he replies "play with him in a band? sod that for a game of soldiers, I'd have killed him by now if I was in a band with him. I only came along as a favour as he knows my family" and laughs. I leave before OF returns, to save myself from life imprisonment. Week later, undeterred, I put an advert on same website as double bass available for Skiffle band. Only to be contacted by OF (using my same email address as before) stating that he thought " they" had found a "bull fiddle" player, but the guy was not up to it as he sat down whilst playing & had the wrong strings on his bass. Would I be interested in coming along for a try out, as there were gig's waiting..... Oh dear.

Buddy - no mocking from me whatsoever. It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And I always admire anyone who is prepared to be open and honest, 'cos we all benefit when that is the case. My only concern throughout was that you didn't take a hit on yet another(!) piece of gear which, from my perspective as a by-stander looking on, seemed to be otiose (one of my favourite words, which I will try to include whenever I can, even if it is sometimes a bit otiose). For the same reason, I try to get my gear second hand (and that is probably one of the single biggest benefits from being on BC, apart from the massive helpfulness of so many folk willing to happily share their knowledge and experience and expecting nothing in return), whenever I can 'cos that means if it's not for me I can move it on for next to no real 'cost' and if you're within the return period having bought new then clearly the same point applies. You've tried something new, different and gained experience and expertise and done so without financial loss. Respect.

Put the video up on here, we can give it marks out of ten.👍

Morden TTT is the guitarist who placed the advert. He fancies singing some of the material, and he knows that I sing a bit, so he reckons we can split the vocal duties between us ... if a decent vocalist can be found later then all well and good. Yes, everybody involved will be an experienced gigging musician, this is no 'hobby band'. The drummer from his old band is already on board with the project, so straight away we have a functioning 3-piece if we want it. We agree a date for a week later and a studio to meet at, and TTT sends me a list of 12 songs we'll do, who by and which version, and the key that we'll be playing in. This is all very professional and not something to be taken for granted with pub bands. I pick out three songs that I'm happy to sing straight away, TTT does the same, and we agree that we'll busk the remainder on the night and see who makes a better job of it. This is looking good. Next day TTT sends me an email saying how much he's looking forward to this. The day after, TTT sends me an email asking how I'm getting on with the songs. And then the next day he sends me an email saying that he's now got a 'really good vocalist' who's going to join us, so there's no need for the two of us to do vocals. The day before the rehearsal, he sends me a final email checking that I'm fully up to speed on all the songs. Finally I turn up at the studio. TTT is a big guy (sideways) but just as bouncy and enthusiastic as his emails suggest. The drummer is a big guy (like Mick Fleetwood) and very laid-back. There's no sign of the vocalist ... apparently he's spent the afternoon at the dentist and now can't make it. Allegedly. Oh dear. Neither TTT nor I have actually been practising the vocals for these songs. At least I know the lyrics of 'my' songs, I'm blessed with a good memory. TTT has pieces of paper. Then the second guitarist arrives. What second guitarist? Oh, he answered the ad too so TTT invited him along. We start with Shakin' All Over, TTT on the vocals. The drummer sounds like a man with a wooden leg walking along a wooden pier ... boom thump boom thump. That's all he does. The guitarist, who must be about 60, doesn't seem to recognise the song or know how it goes. He's kneeling next to his Fender Twin as if he can't hear himself (he's actually deafeningly loud) and he's staring at his fingers as if he's never seen them before. TTT is trying to sing while glancing at a piece of paper resting on a ledge to his side, so that he sings "when you move ... close to me ... that's when I ... all over me". Oh dear oh dear. Move on to the next song. Guitarist says he hasn't practised it and isn't really ready to play it. OK, the one after that then. Guitarist says he hasn't practised it and isn't really ready to play it. It's I Saw Her Standing There, fer Chrissakes, how can he not know it? Fine, turn this on its head ... what songs DO you know? Grand, he knows Summertime Blues. He launches into a series of power chords, in the wrong key. What the hell are you doing? I'm playing Summertime Blues. No you're not, that's the wrong intro and you're in the wrong key. Well I'm playing The Who's version from Live At Leeds, and it's in A. But we all agreed we'd do the Eddie Cochran original, and it's in E. Oh dearie dearie me. By this stage, the drummer has completely lost interest, TTT is visibly as frustrated as I am but has done enough to show that he can't actually sing, and it turns out that I'm the only vocalist in the room. In desperation I call the simplest 12-bar in G that I know. It's yer standard two verses and a solo, third verse and a solo, repeat third verse and out. I sing the first verse. When I start to sing the second verse the guitarist widdles ineffectively all over my singing. TTT and I start exchanging glances - what is this fool doing now? He plays a simple but actually quite reasonable solo, still kneeling by his amp, still staring at his fingers. I start to sing the third verse and he goes back to his useless widdling. Sod this for a game of soldiers. I stop playing, switch off and start packing up. Words are exchanged, and it very nearly comes to fisticuffs as I leave. The next day, TTT sends me an apologetic email. He doesn't suggest we try again. Neither do I.

Sometimes I hide mine in a pouch and attach it to my bass with a lead, sometimes I just plug it straight in and let it dangle free - either way works great. Don't knock it 'til you’ve tried it! I also find I can use my Smoothhound transmitter in pretty much the same way...

I'm feeling a bit ranty, but not about that.

Finished!! Well not quite, I haven’t installed the electrics or wired it up yet, but everything is together now and it’s looking awesome! I’ll replace the temporary strap buttons with Schaller strap locks, put on the string retainer and the tug bar once it’s strung. It’s the lightest Precision bass (or any bass for that matter) I’ve ever played. At just 6.5 lb it’s 3 whole lb lighter than my Fender Jazz, my shoulder says ‘yay!’ Looking forward to getting some flatwounds on it and seeing how it sounds!! Very pleased 🍊

I agree. So far the only unusable parts have been the bridge posts, I've managed to source some new brass ones. The nut it came with was non original..a strange affair made from plastic and a brass strip..they were originally solid brass..so I'm fitting another new brass nut...the rest of the brassware is getting a " comb over" as it is very pitted and crap looking.

It's not a necessity. The transmitter jack will still sit in the socket even if the pad loses it's grip on the bass. You don't have the option with the Line 6 G30 transmitter because it is much bigger and more unwieldy than the SmoothHound, and you have to either clip it onto the strap or stick it into a pouch. It is 2.4 GHz only and there are no facilities to manually adjust the transmitting power or set the channels. It uses some internal smoke-and-mirrors to allow you to use up to 4 Smoothhound devices together, with a proprietary protocol which evidently does similar tricks to the Line 6 gear, but isnt' necessarily compatible with it. We could ask Chris. Which is really what funkyjimbob should have done in the first place - customer support from @SmoothHoundChris is normally top drawer.

The body of the transmitter is hinged at the jack. I guess this is so that the transmitter jack can fit strat type angled sockets, regular front facing jack sockets and those located on the edge whilst still allowing the transmitter body to sit flush with the guitar body. I have found other bug type transmitters to stick out from the guitar body. I guess if the sticky tape (which is more of a rubber substance) fails then yes the transmitters will end up sticking out of the body. It would probably depend on how loose the hinge was though really. I used it with a nitro finish leaving no marks, although not for too long. I switched to the belt mounting option. As @dand666 says, Chris at Smooth hound will supply extra sticky pads. I don't think its amateurish, but being a bug type product it will always have mounting limitations, I suppose.

Cheers Bas. I know i was gushing over it a week ago, and i still would be had it not been for me still having my BDDI (which i put up for sale and couldn't get a good price so withdrew it). Everything i said about it still holds true, but at the same time i think about how many people really need a clean preamp on pedal board if they are using a bass amp. Its just taking up space doing the same job as the front end of an amp. if i had wanted just an EQ pedal i have the much better Q/strip still. If the OD had been more usable, specifically with a blend knob like the BDDI then i may have kept it, but i find the basic tone changes too much when its engaged. I prefer to buy new on line for exactly this reason. Although i dont intend to send stuff back, when you have £200+ at stake its a good safety net. In fact the Cali was the only piece of music gear ive brought in person from a shop in years, and look how that ended up lol. For now im definitely settled as far as gear goes, its out of my system. Oh, and i used my GK MB800 last night for the first time in ages, that's a keeper now as well.

These stories are brilliant. And you tell them beautifully, Mr Happy. I'd definitely enjoy reading a blog of this stuff. S.P.

This is News?

There were a lot of people who thought FM mk2 should never have existed. Good job they didn't have their way. It a sad world if you can't go out and play your own back catalogue because of some arbitrary "rule". I dislike Susan Boyle but wouldn't dream of suggesting that she should not sing to her own fans. If FM can sell enough tickets for a stadium or arena world tour then they are more relevant to the music business than anyone playing on Basschat.

I was giving this some thought last night. My wife just chipped in said, 'Why does it have to have Hamer on the headstock? As you love Mike Lull stuff so much, wouldn't Mike Lull build you one? This actually set me juices flowing somewhat. Mike Lull is Jeff Ament's primary builder and Mike Lull has built two basses for me already, so umm, it's worth a punt. Dollar is weakening against Sterling. Might be a good time to enquire...

Yes, I sometimes shout out "1 2 3 4" really loudly, too.

No it’s wrong to put closed covers on If you can’t see the pole pieces how on earth Will any talent seep in ?

I've never had a music lesson in my life. I don't know any 'rules'. Hasn't stopped me making 9 albums.

Park Royal HHH is the guitarist who placed the advert. This is an established 3-piece that has been playing around London and the Home Counties for many years. Their long-standing bass player is retiring to the South Coast later in the year so they're getting ready for that by recruiting his replacement. This isn't technically an audition. HHH has already come to see me play (and sing) with the other pub rock band I play in, he knows exactly how capable I am, and he wants me to dep for two gigs he has coming up later in the month where the current bass player can't make it. Those two gigs will effectively be my 'real' audition. HHH has been very professional indeed. I've been supplied with full set lists for the two gigs, plus good-quality mp3s of the band playing all those 36 songs live, and he's been quick to give me very comprehensive answers to any questions I've asked. It's all looking good. With 36 songs to get gig-ready from a standing start I've invested a lot of home practice time. By the time I get to the studio I'm pretty ready. There are a few songs where I don't feel 100% confident but in the main I'm pretty happy. The session goes well, but there are some worrying straws in the wind. First, By God but they're LOUD! We're in a small rehearsal room and they have the PA, drums and amps cranked up to volume levels that I've rarely even gigged at. Second, HHH has really very fixed views on how each song's bass part should go, and it usually comes down to straight eights played with a pick. He doesn't want me to play fingerstyle, he's "not a big fan of arpeggios" (that's an actual quote) and he doesn't much like shuffle beats. Now I'm not used to being told how to play bass by a guitarist, but with so little time and so much material I decide not to argue about it. There'll be time enough later. Third? Oh yes, there's a third. HHH and the drummer have played together for 40 years. The two of them are like [cliche alert] an old married couple. They're virtually telepathic, complete each other's sentences, and will never be able to form a balanced band with an incoming bass player. Oh dear. Two days later the band is playing an Irish pub in Finchley with their current bass player. My wife and I go along to check them out. An old drummer I used to play with is a local so we call him and invite him to join us. The three of us sit there watching, and I am struck by how many of the songs have the lead vocals taken by the bass player. HHH has mentioned how important my BVs will be, but not that he himself is not actually the lead vocalist most of the time. Meanwhile a strange expression has come over Mick's face. He yells a couple of questions in my ear and then starts laughing. At the break he explains to us that he was in a band with HHH a few years back. "He's a complete bastard, and utterly mental" he says. "Absolute control freak, totally ruthless - just watch yourself". Then he leaves, still laughing. HHH comes over to ask me what Mick has just said about him. I tell him the truth. He laughs and seems quite unaffected by it. Our first gig together is a social club north of London on the Friday night. The band's PA is strictly 1980s ... two huge, heavy tops mounted on stands built (apparently) from scaffolding poles, and all of that on stage with us where it takes up perhaps a third of the frontage. I ask why we don't put the stands on the floor in front of the stage and get put in my place quite sharply with a load of bollocks about health & safety. The drummer brings in his shells, then his traps case, then his cymbals case, then his second traps case, then his second cymbals case. He's brought in enough kit to outfit three rehearsal rooms. He starts building a truly magnificent rig, including three floor toms, five rack toms and at least eight cymbals of varying sizes and shapes. A third PA stand with a large top now materialises at the back of the stage to the right of the drummer, apparently for (very loud) on-stage monitoring. This contributes to the drummer drifting his kit over to his left, thus pushing me against the wall where I'm standing under one of the PA tops. All sorts of alarm bells are ringing by now. My wife sets up her recording gear - she videos all the gigs my bands play. HHH sees this and delivers a lecture to the effect that nothing, nothing at all gets online unless he approves it. Hmmmm. We play the gig. My playing is fine. Not brilliant, but I'm always where I'm supposed to be and it will all sound fine to the audience. I drop a few minor clangers, as you might expect, but that's nothing compared to the list of cockups by HHH. He is clearly very uncomfortable at having to do all the lead vocals and that's spilling over into his guitar playing, which is all over the place. After the gig, the band breaks down and loads out in almost complete silence. Not a good sign. The next night we play another social club, this time south of London. The gig is virtually a carbon copy of Friday in every respect. On Sunday morning I'm in the queue at Sainsbury when my mobile rings. It's HHH. He tells me that I'm hopeless, my bass playing is "going backwards fast", it's just not going to work out, and they're going back to their previous bass player. He's clearly forgotten that I have a complete video recording of both gigs and he doesn't. I think we both know where the blame really lies. On looking at the footage carefully, I realise that the drummer never actually plays most of that enormous kit. It's just there for show. Frankly, I consider this one a bullet dodged. It was always going to end in tears.

Managed to spare an hour or so over the weekend for this. Now the paint is dry, put it face down on the grill cloth and folded over one side and stapled it down. Then did the same with the top, then cut it where it overlaps. Cut the cloth diagonally at the corners, so there wouldn't be too much of a 'bump' there, then folded over, stapled and cut again. Thankfully, still fits into the front of the amp. Phew, that's a relief. Now put the 'hook' part of some hook and loop (velcro) on the case but seem to have run out of 'loop'. Holds itself in well enough for now, so getting on with putting the badge on the front. Ta-da! There we go. Badge needs repositioning a bit more to the right but that's essentially it. Now, tried one of the new (genuine Fender) knobs I bought and they fit fine but the but either the '1' or the '10' will line up with the line on top but not both, so clearly not the right ones, so will have to return them and try to find the part number for the originals.

Yes, because being popular is where it's at. Personally, I'd just as soon listen to the Reynolds Girls that any of FMs turgid nonsense...

The PRS SE range are pretty darn good, and have a 'wide, fat' neck profile. Great for big handed d bass players. I've had a few of the SE Singlecuts (the ones with the P90's). Great players, great sounds, and seriously good build.

I'm not saying long-established foodstuff manufacturers shouldn't still be making food but I look at multinational corporations like Heinz who are churning out the same baked beans they first made in 1901 and wonder why they are.

The orange looks killer. Be nice to see it strung up and hear if it’s a player.

I've taken out almost all notifications, just leaving in the 'automatically follow content' and I haven't had an error message so far, doing exactly what I have been doing in the past, so thanks to Ped - you probably have cracked it. David

https://www.gumtree.com/p/guitar-instrument/ernie-ball-5-string-bass-guitar/1295334801

It took an old PC game from 1997 to hit the highest of high funktastic This is what Funk looks and feels like....

Depending on how many lacquer coats you are going for, leave the flattening of the edges until you've put a decent number of coats on - it's very easy to sand down through the lacquer and take the stain off! If you do - don't panic. Remember that if you can see wood colour, then you are actually down to wood and so stain re-applied just in that area will absorb pretty well... It's looking good - and I know what colour that really is!

Try Proch For more info check this guy

I think they have two plugin sections, I think those are under the PRO tab

yeah, clearly a lack of product knowledge and misunderstood posts on a forum are no barrier to harsh comments - that almost never happens on forums.....at all.....ever....

Hi, This is my home grown pedal. Old Yamaha pedals from Ebay £25.00 Novation Bass Station 1 £120 Ebay Arduino and some bits. Here's a page I got the idea from and my code updates: http://midihacker.com/category/bass-pedal/ Regards, Doug

I've been playing for 45 years, but I'd have to pick up a bass and watch what my fingers are doing to be able to say anything about my 'technique'. My fingers go where my fingers go, that's all I can say.

Bolton Our singer in an old band developed terrible trouble with tinnitus. We decided to find a new singer, as he kept cancelling gigs, leaving and then not leaving. Our guitarist would stare balefully at anyone else who turned up with a guitar and even though they were really good and learned the songs, he had decided (ALL BY HIMSELF) that he was going to be the only guitarist in our band and turned his guitar up to an unpleasant volume and stuck his bottom lip out, so much that it became a trip hazard. If he didn't like the look of a singer, he would just do the same thing. We had no chance of finding a singer. We couldn't find a singer who met his exacting requirements, so they rang up their singer who has been in and out of the band like a yoyo ever since. I quit, after only two nights of these futile auditions, so they got their old bass player back, who they spent two evenings describing to me as a man who would turn up to play with them at a top paying function wearing a dirty fleece, with gear smelling of cat pee.

I just remembered that I talked to them when I ordered and they offered members of the TalkBass community 10% off on the Mk3. Just write TALKBASS2018 as Promo code. I don’t think they mind me spreading the news over here.

I agree, it's a properly good read. Enough of these and they could be compiled into a good book.

Acton Unusually, this time it is me who placed the advert. Dispirited by how many auditions for other peoples' projects have turned out to be fiascos, I decide to try starting a band myself. With a drummer friend ready so that we have a decent rhythm section to build on, I advertise for a vocalist - guitarists are easier to find. Once I've weeded out the obvious flakes & fantasists by email, I'm left with one decent candidate for the role, so I invite him to my studio in Acton for a try-out. He's keen to accept, and he also knows a really great guitarist he'd like to bring along. He sends me some links. MMM, the vocalist, has some YouTube showing him doing a pretty impressive Van Morrison at some sort of open mic, he seems to be an intense, focused sort of person. VVV, the guitarist, is apparently an American now based in London, whose self-published album (recorded in New York) is available on Spotify and contains some very nice guitar work. When the two of them arrive at the studio MMM is very much as he appeared on YouTube. VVV isn't, and things go all to stinky poo very quickly. Actually he isn't American, and his name isn't VVV. He's a Spaniard called JJJ. Huh? What's going on here then? It turns out he loves Americana so much that he'd wanted to record his first album in the States, under an American pseudonym. OK, so far so weird. We try to play a simple blues and it very quickly becomes obvious that JJJ (the artist formerly known as VVV) is no great shakes as a guitarist. In fact, he's pretty rubbish. He explains that he didn't know the song. Erm ... it's a blues mate. What's to know? We try another song. Same result. Well if you can't play those because you don't know them, why not tell us a blues that you DO know. "Fine", he says, "let's play Red House". We wait for the famous guitar intro and ... he plays something completely different. We ask him, what are you playing? He says, I'm playing Red House. No, we say, you're not. Ah, he says, maybe this is a different song called Red House. Game over. Insert new coin. As we're packing up I ask JJJ about his album, and how he'd set about recording it. Simple. He'd recruited a bunch of NY session musicians to play on it. That, plus a decent sound engineer, had produced quite a good album. Having shoo'd the pair of them out of the studio and then wet ourselves laughing, I call MMM the next day and ask if he'd like to meet for a beer. I explain that there's no future for any band with JJJ in it, but that we haven't had a chance to hear what he, MMM, can do. Would he like to come back for another try, this time without his mate JJJ? He accepts the offer, so I call up an old friend to play guitar for us and we set the date. MMM arrives and we play the first song. I wasn't wrong about his Van Morrison persona - he's got that whole Brown-Eyed Girl thing down to a T. We play another song. It sounds ... erm ... just like the first one, that strange barking, almost-coughing delivery, very gruff, very distinctive. Very repetitive. As long as we're playing material that works with the that vocal style, it's sort-of OK. When we try a pop song it just doesn't work. When we try a gentle blues it's horrible. We point this out to him and suggest that he tries a different style occasionally. He reacts badly, says that's the only style he can sing, in fact we get the impression that he's not even aware that other singing styles actually exist. All very odd. The session breaks up in some disarray and it's not looking good. Next morning, MMM emails me to apologise for both his performance and his attitude. He explains that he has a serious problem with autism and is at the far end of the spectrum, but that he's being treated for it. Incidentally, he has now signed a recording contract (!) with an agency looking for new talent, and would the three of us like to be his backing band? I make my apologies and leave ...

It can make a difference health wise though. Having a bad technique can cause wrist strain etc.

I am so lucky right now. After years of really quite deeply unpleasant personalities I've found a keeper. I turned up at the audition and she met me at the car and started to help carry my gear into the rehearsal. Brought me drinks, paid for food and drives the band to gigs, has zero ego I can detect and rehearses every bit as hard as any musician I've ever known and considerably harder than most. Buys lots of expensive equipment, organises rehearsals, books gigs, helps pack down, works really hard on stage. Despite having the vocal ability to be the absolute focal point of any band she sees herself as the equal of us all. Even the drummer which I think is being unnecessarily hard on herself.

Never had a smoked bass, have tried smoked haddock 😀

mmmm.... Nice.....