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'We're definitely coming to your gig on Saturday'.........

'Here's our set list. Choose any of them you like for the audition because we all know them really well'. 'We're really committed'. 'We rehearse every week and start at 7 o'clock prompt' 'We've got lots of gigs booked in' 'I'll go away and learn these new songs for next week' 'I can't come this week because the wife / kiddie / mother-in-law feels ill'. 'This is the only band I'm in'. 'You won't mind if Carl watches the rehearsal. He's just a friend of the band'.

I was told that the bassist wasn’t the most handsome & talented member of the band......,,

I need to have it this loud to get ‘my’ sound.

For anyone thinking they've left it too late to take learning an instrument seriously, take encouragement from this: I have recently taken on a student who is 96.

I did not know Vikings wore blue underpants. Well I never!

Yes, Go fund yourself seems the general answer

Thank you so much for your responses, I wasn't expecting that many replies That really has cleared up something that was bothering me, I thought I'd be alienating a huge demographic but it doesn't seem that way at all. Very good points made all round and I think the main thing I can take away from it all is that it doesn't matter, as long as the look, playability and tone suit the individuals needs. Not as much love here for the 'decorative' woods as I thought there would be, which I'm glad about. I personally prefer a clean, minimal look. I like natural wood but I think heavy figuring and burrs are just too much sometimes (emphasis on 'sometimes', everything has its place). @Monkey Steve to answer your question I'll give you a bit of context. I'm a furniture maker and have been for about 10 years now. I've worked for companies that make fine furniture using all sorts of decorative veneers and timbers, and I've worked for companies that try to source sustainable materials, one even went as far as using solely indigenous, sustainably grown timber. I've also been vegan now for about 3 years and the more I read (not just about timbers but the impact of any industry on the environment) the more I dig my heels in and avoid using certain products or even avoid entire companies. The company I currently work for are very good at sourcing responsibly but due to the work we do, I spend a lot of time on building sites and I have seen first hand the amount of waste that the construction industry produces. Companies will over order on materials, use half of it, and then the other half goes into landfill. I can't spend the rest of my life in this industry, it is wasteful and even demand for products like MDF and plywood are causing huge amounts of deforestation. I care enormously about where materials come from, not just for the environment but for human rights issues too. The greed that drives corrupt governments just makes me angry. I've made a few basses over the years for myself, so I think it's time to consolidate my two passions and make a go of it. The amount of timber consumed by the guitar industry is nothing compared to other industries, and actually the responsibility lies more with Fender, Gibson et al, but we can all do our bit

At one time many years back I had a 'bassist available' ad up in a Swindon music shop. I gave a list of my preferred styles, which were jazz, progressive (not metal), funk. Had a call from a guy who said the "band"'s style was 'jazzy with a contemporary edge' or some such. Taking him at his word, I turned up to see what they were about. Two guys with acoustic guitars, playing singer-songwriter stuff that was about as jazzy as Ann Widdecombe and just as interesting. They had no intention of getting a drummer or keys, or ever picking up electric guitars, or it seemed writing anything half decent. The only line I can remember from any of their songs is "red cars take me home". My silver car couldn't take me home quick enough.

Have to admit this thread has turned out to be more fascinating and interesting than i anticipated. Thanks for everyone for joining in. Now we all know a little bit more about each other. Brilliant Dave

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These don’t seem to be coming through in quantity yet so I had a job tracking one down but my new GK Fusion S arrived today. Only had chance to turn it on and check it works so far but I have to say I’m very impressed with it in partnership with the One10. It sounds great and the lights look super cool. Hmmm, pwetty lights...

‘I was in thunderclap newman’ ’I sang backing vocals on Rocket Man’ ’I played guitar Everyone’s Kung Fu Fighting’ All from one guitarist.

'Qualified electrician hooked up the power in the marquee this morning'.... 'Do this gig cheap and you'll get booked for proper money at next year's event'..... 'We'll look after the band - feed and water you guys all day'.....

I really wanted a double bass. REALLY wanted one. I got an extra evening bar job and stopped smoking to fund it. 2 years later I got that double bass. Go fund yourself, it's perfectly doable.

Self-employed consultant to the pharmaceutical industry and Board member of two health charities (Malaria Consortium; Prostate Cancer Research Centre)

bioinformatics: all kinds of (biological) data analysis, but mostly genomic and gene expression etc. Pretty looking graphs and stuff like that Our lab focuses on the proteins that are embedded in the membrane that surround the nucleus of cells. Many of them seem to have a strong tissue-specificity and play roles in all sorts of things from mechanical integrity to signalling. There are a number of human diseases associated with problems with some of them and we're trying to understand the pathology. That's, in very broad terms, what pays for my guitars and other toys

I'll just leave this here... It appears to be some sort of harpsichord...

@nickcarey @Leonard Smalls @lurksalot @Teebs stand up and take a bow! The Basschat Underground Railway rides again. A beautiful operation expertly carried out.

And just to update a picture I posted a few months back which had a couple of generations missing, here's the collection covering the Trace era from the mid 80's to mid 90's, along with the baby Elf thrown in/on for good measure!

We were invited to play at a folk festival. We were a prog-jazz-fusion band. I didn't understand why they were calling us for this festival, but it was well paid. We said yes. The folk guys said us after the balance : "Wow what a sound.” When we started to play, everyone left the venue, I mean we really played for the tables and chairs. Even the sound engineer left. They came back when we had finished, saying : "The sound was better outside". No kidding. And yes, we got our money...

Yeah - and that's the other thing I hate about him.

I used to work in medical research. I worked in the UK and the Netherlands on lung cancer treatments and semi synthetic antibiotics. Specifically I used to help bioengineer novel proteins. Then took a missive career change and am now workIng with kids with a wide range of disabilities and still do a bit of lab work whilst planning and overseeing trips to various places around the world for a wide range of special needs kids. In addition I help run music groups and clubs for the same group of kids. It’s a nice mix as I still have the science side but also other things to keep my mind busy.

In the course of your musical endeavours, what lies, bull5h1t and bollox, have you been told and/or experienced? I'll go first: Told a gig was going to be broadcast on MTV2 Joined a band who the BL claimed were getting an endorsement deal with Schecter Received an email claiming someone from V2 Records had seen the band and were sending A&R to the next gig.

This could possibly be the best Disco Funk song ever sung by anyone Black or White.?And i need to learn this line?Tabs anyone can't find it anywhere,ont tinter.

I think of lot of people off of here would pay to see Blue though! I know I would.

With a Royal Enfield........

‘That standard Fender Precision bridge is rubbish - you need this heavy brass one, will make it sustain forever.....’ ’Look at this cable - really thick and with gold plated plugs. You’ll hear the difference straight away....’ ’Can’t you play a few more songs? The best man will bung the band some more dosh....’

...back when I was younger with longer hair, and was an Argentinian doctor!

Saw Focus in December. Pierre van der Linden was superb. One of the most accurate, skillful and hard hitting drummers I have seen, and I always liked hard driving music. They played for 2 hours 20 minutes and were superb. He never missed a beat and did a 10 minute full on solo. He is 74.

Did a vanity Google to find someone's MySpace page where they claimed to have played drums with our band on many occasions. Naturally none of us had heard of him. He lived hundreds of miles away. If we were in any way famous, or even 'Threatin' famous, I could understand. But we are literally Dog and Duck. And I don't even mean headlining the Dog and Duck.

5 years in the navy, 6 years in electronic manufacturing (high end hi-fi), professional revolutionary for a year, 5 years at uni studying law, now a criminal defence solicitor - I have a CV that reads like a series of handbrake turns and have given up any hope of getting that big musical break! Fascinating to see the range of occupations on here.

"Woke up in the morning.... thank god for that"

’No Moët, no show-et. No Chandon, no band on.’

Reminds me of one of my favourite submissions to Viz Top Tips: "Save yourself the huge expense of a skiing holiday by recreating the experience at home: simply strap a plank of wood to each foot, sit in your fridge for half an hour and then run headfirst into the nearest tree."

Hi chaps, it's the search index that's gone down. Should be back soon, sorry. If it's not sorted by this eve I'll fire up the old search index which isn't quite as fast but fine for the interim! Cheers

I work at a large clothing retailer, in past times @Norris was there. I have a unicorn role, I am the only java person but I also do all open source stuff. I also solve problems for people in winston wolf style. SSL, certificates, data formatting and data massage; you name it, I’ll work out how to do it, usually for free so no business outlay right now I’m developing a data lake with data from all over the business including mainframe statistics plus business statistics so people can join that all up in funky graphs without having to learn “green screen” mainframe-speak and export it all to spreadsheets.

I presume that it's inclusion relates to the absence of a tort p/guard?

I get you - I actually only started putting on shows in the first place because I was confident I could do a better job than the promoters we were working with. When I offer a band a show (post-rock/ambient/experimental/jazz/modern-classical) and they agree, I send an email asking for their technical requirements, telephone number and I attach and reference a two page document with the venue details, time they need to arrive, time they're due to sound check, time they're scheduled to perform, the equipment the venue has, contact details and information about how they're going to be paid... a lot of the time I know it hasn't been read because of the questions I get asked 😂 I put a show on in Bournemouth in November last year - I put posters up at the venue and at Absolute Music, I paid for targeted advertising on Facebook, went to Bournemouth university and university halls to do a leaflet drop and put posters up on the university notice boards, I also had correspondence back and forth with the university music department. Unfortunately it had zero impact. With the exception of two people (who I spoke with and were not students), the bands or I knew every person who attended the event. While the bands knew and could see the effort I had put in, it was still extremely disheartening.

And they say plastic surgery is never an improvement!

If you don’t mind me saying, that’s fantastic work you do there T bay ☝️

Wow! The Brooks Grabbird is Bass of the Week at NoTreble! https://www.notreble.com/buzz/2020/03/09/bass-of-the-week-brooks-grabbird/

Refinished roadworn MIJ 62 reissue body, Allparts unlined neck, Dimarzio DP123s, kiogon loom. Feeling Quite pleased with the finished article 😄