I`ve been in a similar situation many moons ago, but with a guitarist. He was a great player but didn`t have transport, a suitable guitar, or an amp (guess who had to provide all of those) and wouldn`t set any gear up. He couldn`t learn songs, couldn`t remember where the solos were (after the 2nd chorus in every song) and his priority was to drink as much as possible on the way to rehearsal as well as once there. I didn`t exactly do the "it`s him or me", I just said to the other guys I wouldn`t work with the band whilst he was in it. Now in terms of sheer playing he was far better than me, when he played a solo it was sheer genius but it`s what he didn`t bring to the band that they concentrated on, luckily for me.They fired him. And he`d been a mate of mine for some 25 years at that point, so I did feel a bit guilty but as they say, it`s business, nothing personal, and that`s what this situation is. If it were the workplace this drummer would be fired pdq.