Bludgeon him to death with a blunt instrument, then impale his still twitching corpse on a mic stand and parade him right at the front of the stage as a warning to other potential silence shatterers to get some 'res-peck man'
Im not joking here, its a tried and tested method of setting out your stall, Les Claypool has already done it, that trout used to flap his fins all over its Fin-der Strato'caster, scales flying everywhere, volume at eleven. Les just flipped one day, and has never had the problem since