mcnach

[quote name='hrnn1234' timestamp='1488352071' post='3248065'] the issues with the drummer are actually what I dislike the most about playing with these guys. I thought of going away twice already only because of this guy. I'm sure I could find common ground with the singer, but having to tip toe around two people out of three so I get no nasty reactions? I'm not looking forward to that. [/quote] If you guys still aim to gig regularly, it means you'll spend a hell of a lot of time with each other. I'm not sure how situations come to this, but what you describe is not healthy... or fun. It sounds like the only happy moment is onstage while you play. Unfortunately that's the activity we generally spend the least amount of time doing. It doesn't look good. I'd still go for that meeting, because you're clearly enjoying the music enough to make you doubt, and few things are worse than wondering "what if..." afterwards. But I would not have big hopes for this to work. Your drummer sounds like an idiot. It's a shame, I've been watching a few videos and I really enjoy what you guys are doing. Hmmm... maybe you can... you know... make it look like an accident...

[quote name='hrnn1234' timestamp='1488265515' post='3247262'] I kind of left my band last week. I moved to Vienna (AT) about four years ago and after a few hit and misses I started playing with this guys. The band is the drummer, guitar player, singer and me. I played it quiet for long as there was a culture shock in between (I'm from south america, so it's very different how people behave and whatnot). I adapted to the weird (for me) band dynamics: the singer very often left immediately after we played the songs we had to practice, the guitar player is the de facto benevolent dictator -luckily an excellent guy, so I had nothing against that-, and the not so good older drummer who thinks he knows best and only takes input from the guitar player only getting mildly upset. Since the band had existed for almost ten years before I came, and they had been very active once in the Goth scene, all the gigs and aesthetics revolved around that. I didn't care really. I like the music they play, although it's nothing gothic (I've posted a video in the live video's thread), and I have a fake leather jacket I can wear to gigs. Also, the fact that they had been playing for so long seems to have made them feel as if they were entitled to something, but the fact is that the crowd at the shows was only friends and wives. Which is also fine by my. It's all fine, until we start discussing the way forward. They wanted to play for more people, but there are only a few goths in Vienna. And although we played shows outside the goth scene with much "success", they didn't want to look much further and play for other people nor stop describing the music with the word "Goth" in it, when I proposed them to. Which again, would be fine by me. I'm in it for the music, I have no intention to be famous. But they seemed to feel unappreciated as band so they wanted more, but the zero crowd gigs kept hitting them hard, so we would sit and talk about it, and the discussions kept going in circles. I've played two years with them and now a friend of the band, who says has contacts in the industry, has offered herself to be the manager. She said to drop the goth-handle and broaden their audience and they said "what an excellent idea". On top of that I had the idea to express my views about playing a gig in a city about 350km from vienna, in an event organized by a guy that organizes industrial/electronic/goth parties with near zero attendance and wants us to mix it up a bit, because there will be only another band, besides the two DJs, and it's electronic. What I got was a huge speech from the singer about how I should weigh if I'm ready to comit to the band or not, because they are ready to travel how many km's are needed to play for five people, if that means playing for five people that haven heard us, and how he expects everyone in the band to bring motivation and effort. This is was the last drop, really. We met in our practice room on saturday, and very diplomatically (really) I told him f*** this sh*t. I was shocked that they were so shocked. Clearly no one in the band had possibly imagined that I could be fed up with anything (which is a bit of a testament of how unheard my voice is). It was all this (with a few more episodes of being dismissed and later on taking up the idea on their own) and the lack of possibility of interacting musically with the drummer that got to me over the two years. But again, it's their shock what got me the most now. The manager was present at the time and she talked us all into discussing this over a few beers in two weeks. I accepted only because no one saw it coming, but then it got me to think if I overreacted. Or maybe not? Phew! [/quote] I understand your frustration, but never quit in anger or reacting to something. That's something I learnt the hard way (in general, not just bands). They do seem, however... 'a bit precious'. A lot of what you said would be huge red flags to me *if* I knew all that when joining. The band dynamics are not great, although you have an impeccable taste for dresses I have to say I liked what I saw in that video. It's not my #1 kind of music, but I would be happy playing what you're playing... from a musical point of view. It can be great fun. But what you say about the personalities of the band members would frustrate me as well. It's a tough one to choose to leave a band you enjoy musically. You have to decide whether you can be happy with the way the band operates, 'though. It's probably a good idea to talk over beers once everybody is calm. If you have to go, you have to go and maybe you can go in good terms (even if you despise any of them... the world is small, so don't make enemies unless you really must, you never know when you'll come across each other again)... or maybe they get to understand your view and you can continue to enjoy the band. The new 'manager' also sounds positive. It sounds like they listen to her and they are open to making small changes that can open up better possibilities for the band. Yeah, it stinks when you suggest something, get ignored, then somebody else comes with the same idea and it suddenly it's a wonderful thing! It happens. Sometimes we have to bite our lip and smile, and be pragmatic... But it may be a good sign. Now all you have to do is become her friend and next... the band is yours and do what you say! (joking... a bit) I can't tell you what's best. It depends on just how fed up you are, whether the music can compensate for other things, and a million other factors only you can judge. All I can say is... don't quit while angry. Don't make any permanent decisions while upset. I hope you can make it work *if* you can be happy in the band. I really liked what I saw. Nice work.

[quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1488551566' post='3249953'] I disagree, but only from personal standpoint as a dep. I would never hold myself up as worth more than any other member of a band that I was depping with. Even taking into account however desperate they might be. All I ask is that I get sufficient time to do my prep. To ask for more than the others would make me feel like I was taking advantage of them. If I discovered that I had received less as a dep than the regular bass player would have received, that would be the last time I would hve played with them. Where does that stop? The word gets around that I'll play a gig for less than the others, next time it's even less and then less again. Resentment ensues. Alternatively, its known that I will play any gig I'm available for, but for an equal share. Whenever I've had a call for a dep gig, the first question is always "Am I available?", not "Can you do x date for x amount of £'s". I like to get these things clear from the get go. Equal pay for equal work and given adequate prep time I'll do a top job. Insufficient prep time and I won't wing it. Half the buzz of saying yes to the dep spots is I get to play stuff that I wouldn't normally. I don't expect to be reimbursed for the prep time either. That's down to me if I commit to the gig. I look at that part as a learning experience. [/quote] It's not really about valuing yourself more or less than the others, in my view. I don't see a dep as a band member, but rather an accessory. It's like running a delivery service and 5 of your drivers got food poisoning last night at the work's night out... so I would look to hire 5 new drivers just for a couple of days. The contract with them is independent and has nothing to do with what I paid my regular drivers. Because it's a temporary contract, it comes with a different set of circumstances/conditions and that may affect the wages. The same with a dep. A dep may have to work harder at shorter notice, and being a "non-member" will not reap any further benefits from the gig (other than being asked again, if needed, I suppose)... at the same time, he doesn't need to worry about a lot of the band business. His job is simply to be able to play what he was asked, and do it when requested. In a way he is an 'emergency service' so if he ends up making a bit more I don't see it as a problem. If he ends up making less than the rest, it's purely down to him: presumably he thought X amount was sufficiently attractive. Either way, no harm done. Personallly I don't need to know whether band Z will get so many £££, and this much goes to the BL as a 'finder's fee' and this much is deducted this way or another... tell me what you're offering, and if it works for me, I'll say yes. Or ask me how much I'd want, and I'll tell you. Most bands in my circle just divide things equally, but not all operate that way and that's ok as long as both parts are clear about what what each will provide before committing.

[quote name='chris_b' timestamp='1488550033' post='3249926'] I depped for a fantastic blues/rock band many years ago now. The argument started as we were packing up and the band had all but broken up by the time my gear was in the car!! [/quote] I can imagine you calmly watching while eating an icecream, sitting comfortably... unless the argument was about who decided to use this dep

[quote name='Rocker' timestamp='1488539526' post='3249759'] I disagree. The majority of punters don't know that there is a difference between bass and lead guitars, let alone the different makes and types of instruments. Looking confident and in control will get you through... [/quote] so true... I only found out two weeks ago or so that my girlfriend (whom I met from her becoming a fan of the band and appearing at most of our local gigs) didn't know initially that the guitar I was playing was a bass. And before the obvious jokes start: yes, before we started dating she knew very well I was the bass player

[quote name='dood' timestamp='1488537983' post='3249741'] Yup, great example. Any band that treats the Dep with anything less than like royalty just isn't professional. When I've been in a band that needed a Dep, we rallied round to make sure charts and recordings were on offer, gear could be borrowed, rehearsals were paid for and the Dep didn't even have to drive to the gigs. We needed them more than they needed the gig. Deps are very valuable. Look after them as you might need them again in the future. [/quote] wise words! Recently I found myself in an uncomfortable position, where my main band got offered a gig that they all were very keen about, but I was already booked in with another band I'm "temporarily but long term" involved with (essentially a dep job that got extended). I love both bands. My main band would not hate me if I said "sorry, can't", some of us do other things and while we give priority to the band, once we're booked elsewhere we leave it. But they were very keen. And, to be honest... so was I. It's not going to pay a lot but it's going to be great fun, and it is local and my girlfriend will be there too (there's this other band from Glasgow we both love), while the other is out of town and I would not be back until noon the next day... So I told the second band that I'd find a dep if they're ok with it. They were. I asked how much we were going to get. It was a bit lower than usual, unfortunately... So I decided to bump it up from my own pocket when I contacted two people that I really rate, both as players (both leave me in the dust!) and as people (both are really nice guys and dependable). One of the guys was known to the band, so they chose him. He had a month to learn one hour's worth of originals and a few covers. Pretty easy 'though, but it still takes time. Fast forward to 10 days before the gig. It gets cancelled. They had not yet met and rehearsed together, but the guy had learnt already the songs, and I knew he would have been very good at it... so I ended up giving him some "consolation money" anyway. Why? Because, first, he deserved it, and second... I now know he can be a dep for us much more easily since he's already learnt those songs, and I want him to feel appreciated so that in the future maybe he can help us if we need to. Bands who don't treat deps well will find themselves one day having to cancel gigs and wonder why everybody seemed to be so busy that they could not work with them...

[quote name='drTStingray' timestamp='1488538319' post='3249745'] I tend to agree with this, in all aspects except instruments and equipment (unless there's a particular sound issue). My personal experience over 40 odd yrs as a semi pro has been this issue crops up rarely but when it does it's usually a portent for other 'controlling' behaviour - it's also notable that most of the people doing it I have encountered have been technically weaker or indeed the weakest musician in the group, and simply ill informed or wrong (not just when commenting on fellow musician's instruments or sound either). You have to decide whether you can tolerate it or not. I have known people asking others to have their guitars resprayed because it doesn't match the band (in one case the self styled leader had an aversion to a certain colour!!). The bottom line is you do come across controlling and irrational behaviour in music groups but thankfully it's not a regular issue in my experience. A high turnover of musicians is often a pointer to potential issues!! [/quote] I was mostly talking about "being told what to play" type of comments. About what bass to play... I'd be flexible too, but much less so, I need to have a very good reason why my Precision or my Stingray cannot be used here. If it comes to the way they look... I'm unlikely to give in. Unless they come with lots of money. Money tends to make me more compliant but I have never experienced that kind of situation. If it is about the way an instrument sounds, then I'm open to discussion, why not. I have also encouraged a guy to go back to using a strat rather than the Les Paul he was borrowing, because I thought it fitted much better. Others did too, and in the end the guy thought "yeah, it's true" and is again using a strat. It's ok to suggest, why not? I never would bully him into dropping the Les Paul, but I speak my mind and expect others to do the same. I suspect in the 'pro' world these things get trickier, because as it is I do not depend on gigs for a living, so I can afford to chat, discuss, and disagree. If my bread is bought with the money from the gig, you've got to be even more careful. But that's like any other job. There's often unreasonable people we need to put up with at any job you do. Instead of hating the colour of your guitar they may have an issue with the place you've chosen to store certain lab equipment or something...

[quote name='geoffbassist' timestamp='1488485446' post='3249438'] Same, but I have occasionally found bands who pay differently, both times it was less! It's a crazy move as the dep is the one working the hardest. [/quote] yeah, but the dep doesn't have to put up with all the band drama crap

[quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1488484908' post='3249432'] What band would be willing to pay more for a dep? Why would you want to accept any less as a dep than the regular guy? [/quote] You're a band who has a gig you really don't want to cancel and are a bit pressed for time or it's awkward due to place/time or whatever... and you know this guy will pull it off. You need him more than he needs you... so the band may make an offer that means the dep makes more than anybody else. You are approached to dep for a particular gig, and you're free. They offer you £X. You think about it and decide £X is a good pay. You accept. And variations thereof...

[quote name='spikydavid' timestamp='1488484226' post='3249419'] So, when stepping in as a dep, do you expect to get paid more, less, or the same as the regular bassist? [/quote] I'd say it varies: to be discussed on a case by case basis. You don't need to know how much the regular bassist makes, only how much they offer you. If you want more, then negotiate.

[quote name='fftc' timestamp='1488534252' post='3249689'] It's early days for me as a bass player so this might not be worth the pixels it's written in, or it could be wisdom from a fresh perspective. Who knows? I'll play anything with four strings that someone will give me. I'm not going to buy a new bass unless I want to, and whatever I'm playing I'm going to try and make it sound like me. If that is not what someone is looking for then so be it. As a hobby it's supposed to be fun, and trying to be something you are not to please others is not my idea of fun. YMMV and all that. [/quote] there's something there about wanting to be yourself etc... for sure, don't be a pushover. But a band is a group of people and that is going to mean discussion and compromise, unless you're all clones and think 100% alike all the time, or you're all hired hands (in which case you'll do as told,, full stop, and smile for the cameras if they want you to ). I think many hobbyist musicians (like myself) can get a little too precious about their gear and what they play. I've seen this coming from insecurity in some cases, from sheer bloodymindedness in others, selfishness... and a few times because their artistic integrity was superior. In other words: I've never experienced that attitude to be a positive thing. Just like being a pushover will also not take you to anywhere nice either. It's a balancing act. You have your preferences. Others have other preferences. Together you push and pull and discuss and sometimes even argue, why not? an argument does not have to be something where someone is trying to subjugate another... in the end, if you have sufficient in common, you end up moving in a direction you've collectively decided, and carry on. You need to be flexible. And balanced. Leave your egos in a pocket of the gig bag, locked. You'll have more fun.

[quote name='JamesBass' timestamp='1488471399' post='3249255'] So 1 or 2 emails have been sent... [/quote]

[quote name='lownote12' timestamp='1488447200' post='3248958'] Back to my issue with the thru body string holes in the bridge being at an absurd angle to the back of the saddle, if not partially beneath the saddle in the case of the E string. I have now heard back from Thomann. Customer support say Guitars say my problem arises from trying to intonate the bass with short scale XL 170 strings. As it clearly says Long Scale on the string pack someone doesn't know their arse from their elbow. They also patronisingly told me to find someone who knows how to intonate. I'd be grateful to hear from Fleabag and anyone else without V7/4 issues just how much clearance they have between the stringing holes and the saddle and what strings they're using. Edit: Thomann now say they want the bass back for evaluation. That will take for ever and from what's said earlier this is a known issue. Agh, at the end of the day's its just a niggle. [/quote] It would take them all of 5 minutes to check with one of the basses they have in stock right now... not a great response from them, no. Although seeing that it looks like a design fault, and therefore something for the manufacturer, their only solution could be a replacement or refund. Do you want a refund? I'd write to Sire. They seemed pretty good when they first came out, maybe you get lucky and they can send you another kind of bridge.

[quote name='Beer of the Bass' timestamp='1488386627' post='3248521'] Those guys have since moved.... to Leith! Not certain if Krispn is talking about the same place, but there aren't a lot of repairers in town who are working from their own premises like that. [/quote] Oh!!! it's been a while I haven't been in that area. Good to know before I show up with a broken amp there then (just an example, so far all of my gear works fine ) Hmm. There aren't many, certainly. Worth doing a bit more checking, thank you, Martin.

[quote name='JamesBass' timestamp='1488394658' post='3248623'] Yeah I'm doing my head looking at other builders and trying to work out why builder X charges £00's more than builder Y! Neither of those, I'm playing some festival down in Bournemouth area that weekend, and then I've got a few others lined up, victorious etc. Should be a good summer! Yeah by all means, PM away! [/quote] will do! Thanks! ah, it would have been fun had we ended up at the same festival. Now I'm just hoping for decent weather... although driving from Scotland almost anything but torrential rain will look like decent weather to me

[quote name='JamesBass' timestamp='1488274003' post='3247354'] Am I really that easy to read? �� I've already got specs in mind, but I'm torn on who to give them to, to make my dream come true, I'm even considering FCS! Oh what Festival is that? I'm gigging quite a few of the local ones this summer, and we have a date for the Saturday at a festival that's a two-dayer. As for suggestions, that depends what you two like. Locally we are steeped in Martime history, Portsmouth has the Histroic dockyard with the Mary Rose and Museum, the Warrior, and the Victory, all of which are interesting! Then further north you have the Royal Armouries museum at Fort Nelson overlooking the entire area on Portsdown Hill. Over towards Southampton you have the Titanic museum, some good shopping at West Quay and Whitely. You have the river Hamble which is a very nice country walk and day out. There's plenty to do down this way, drop me a PM and I'll send over some more bits and pieces of you'd like! [/quote] Ah, I only have experience with Maruszczyk and I was very happy with that, so I haven't really considered anything else. It's bad enough like that, if I had to consider other builders too then I'd go mad It's called Music Mania Festival or something like that, in Worthing. The following week I'll be back, but this time with my main band, to play at the Boomtown Fair near Winchester (we play the Friday at midnight on that one)... but I'm more likely to bring the Stingray for that. Are those any of the ones you'll be in? Cool, thanks for that, although my gf I don't think she'd be very interested in war stuff. She's Polish and when we're over in Poland she indulges me when I want to see a few things, but I have to make sure I don't overdo it. Sunday 6th of August is also her birthday, so she'll be the boss 100% (as opposed to the usual 75% ). I might bring the bicycles... Thanks! I will PM you for more info/ideas then, if that's ok

[quote name='krispn' timestamp='1488300760' post='3247690'] It was a place in Leith. [/quote] good to know, thanks. I've heard only good things of this place by Haymarket, where Colorsound Studios are, by the Thrifty Car Rental shop, I forget the name... something about time travel (???). That's what I intend to use next time I need anything done.

[quote name='synthaside' timestamp='1488280307' post='3247441'] I can see the post with both neck's , but where does it actually say it's coming with a baseball necked P neck and an optional J neck rather than the other way round ? It seems a touch daft , I dont want to buy an extra neck and If people wanted a PJ with a P neck when can pretty much get them anywhere , One with a J neck is a bit harder to come by. [/quote] Well, I want a P neck, so ner ner nerner neer... actually what I'm really interested in is in a 5-string version, as long as it's not too heavy. I didn't care about the weight but lately I've been playing mostly relatively light basses and I love that.

[quote name='radiophonic' timestamp='1488282351' post='3247460'] Thanks for all the opinions. I am reading them! I thought the neck on the CV 70s P felt pretty good and the action was very low, without any choking. It wasn't clear whether this is a narrowrer profile than a standard P neck - it did look narrower, but not shallower to me. Again, Fender are light on facts here and the shop didn't know - or show much interest (PMT = all Guitarists I guess). I did think the body was rather light, but I'd need to play one back to back with a Fender and use a strap in order to tell whether it's really an issue. The pickups seemed a bit plasticky and for someone who anchors his thumb right there, the sharp edged moulding round the screw mounts was annoying. I'd like to have a closer look at the bridge too - it looked like it had brass saddles but they could be toffee. It says hi-mass on the site but that could mean anything. Quite tempting on first play. [/quote] I haven't played the CV 70s P, I owned a CV 60s and own a Matt Freeman which I believe is pretty much a CV 70s... although for the two points I want to make this doesn't matter... 1) action: you can make any of those basses have as low or as high an action as you want. It's adjustable. So don't judge a bass on that alone. 2) pickup cover being a bit edgy... you can change the pickup cover. There are lots around, usually at about £5 for a set, and they vary in how rounded the edges are. You can find one set that feels nicer.

[quote name='JamesBass' timestamp='1488271510' post='3247310'] Oh damn, that is a bit of a wait! I'm pretty set on trying before buying so if no one else has one closer, then yeah I'm happy to wait! Thank you Mcnach [/quote] Yeah, you'll wait... I bet you tell that to all the girls You'll be ordering one in less than a month. Once you start looking, you start thinking about your specs and... it's just a matter of (not much) time after that But if you haven't by then, send me a PM reminder in case I don't remember and I bring another one for whatever reason. I've got a gig in Rugby on Saturday night and then I'll be driving towards you for some festival on Sunday morning. Our slot is 3pm-ish, and after that I plan to stay for another day or two with my girlfriend in the area, so any suggestions of places to go/see would be welcome and if very good I might bring two Jakes

[quote name='JamesBass' timestamp='1488225157' post='3247022'] Out of curiosity, are there any Jake owners near-ish Southampton/Portsmouth? I'm fairly interested in ordering one, but I'd like to try one first [/quote] I'm pretty far, but I'll be in the area with mine for a gig... if you can wait until the 6th of August

[quote name='krispn' timestamp='1488203232' post='3246716'] I went to a local repair guy who told me its a £30 bench fee plus vat upfront for diagnostic. Paid up to be told it would be three to four weeks before it's ready to be looked at excluding actual 'repair' time. I had a last minute gig and called to say I needed the cab, got to the shop and the place was reeking of weed (it was a Saturday, two employees, no 'jobs on the bench') no signs of any actual work being done and once I got the cab in the car the cover was also stinking of weed. I'm heading back down today for a refund. I don't care if they're stoners but a three to four week wait and £36 up front so these lads can mooch about? No ta! I usually go via a local guitar shop. Drop the stuff off on a Friday collect the following Friday, £25 bench cost. I thought I'd go local as it's literally 5 minutes drive from my place. Needless to say I'll be dropping it off the next time I have a week without gigs. I get people need paid and it's a 'specialist' service but there's taking the p*ss [/quote] is that the shop next to the yard of a car rental place?

[quote name='Jono Bolton' timestamp='1488208680' post='3246786'] Allow me to share this anomaly; you can see from the picture that the bass he's using has the Squier badges on the headstock, but the truss rod adjustment is at the heel of the neck, rather than the headstock end as you'd find on the production model. I don't know if he's got a prototype, or if it's something else badged as a Squier. It's definitely got the same bridge as mine. Either way, I've definitely seen him playing the standard bass you can buy in the shops. [/quote] That's an interesting bass. And cool if he actually uses the production models too. Quite often you see them being used as little more than 'photo opportunities'.

[quote name='dave_bass5' timestamp='1488199894' post='3246664'] From their Facebook page "The Sire company plans to release the P7 with a 41.8mm Pbass original neck width size. And also an interchangeable jazz neck of 38mm will be available for purchase" [/quote]

[quote name='Huge Hands' timestamp='1488188246' post='3246519'] I don't know your situation at all, but it might be worth thinking of it from the other bassist's point of view. I play regularly in a band, but have issues with availability due to having my son every other weekend (which the band have always known about). However, the band leader is ruthless and will often book gigs on weekends that I can't do, and then threatens me with a dep each time. This then involves me having to spend ages trying to swap weekends with my ex and trying to free myself up. Of course, it never got as far as actually booking anyone to dep (and letting them down) but perhaps this is what is happening here? My own insecurities around the possibility of them gigging with and preferring a dep resulting in me losing my gig were what drove me to always comply, but this year I had to stop it as it was causing too many problems with my ex, and causing me guilt about putting the band before my son. I get depped for the first time in July - not looking forward to it! [/quote] I have been depped a few times on my main band. Never big gigs, but still I did not like it much. The dep in question is a friend of the band, I know him well enough and is a nice guy, but I didn't like the idea of booking a gig knowing that I was going to be away and not having the band 'fire in all cylinders' so to speak. He's a good player, but I was afraid they would not get enough practice and he wouldn't learn the songs well (all originals). It turns out he did pretty well. I still prefer the position where the band is the band, and we don't gig with substitutes. But now I like the fact that if I really have to not do a previously booked gig, and the guy is free, we can save the gig. My band will not change me for any dep. Another band I'm playing with, a mix of covers and originals, I recently had to cancel on them... so I called a couple of friends, both better bassists than myself, and the band was happy to pick one whom they kind of knew a bit. He's seriously good. Much better than myself. I was happy with that because I like the guys in the band and I'm the one letting them down, so I like it if I can give them a guy who will do a great job and will also be fun to have around. I know they will not turn around and say "you know what? this guy plays better than you... so we offered him the position, would you like to cover for him when he's not available?" They won't. The fact that you worry you might get substituted permanently doesn't seem right. If you are in the band, I am sure it is for a reason. If you were not suitable, they would replace you, dep or no dep. So I bet you're suitable. Your ability to commit to gigs is complicated because of family issues. In your place I'd be worried about being replaced if I am the person who is preventing them from booking gigs or causing cancellations. So the fact that you have someone who can replace you *when you're not available* sounds like a good thing. If your fears, however, come because somehow you've been 'bullied' a bit and you're trying to comply... then I'd think that it's probably not the band for you and I would not wait to be replaced, and look for another band with more reasonable people.