Here we are, Sir; sorry for the delay...
A man died and went to heaven, and met St. Peter who was showing him around heaven, and they came across various groups of people. There was one large group who were Presbyterians, and the man asked who these people were? Peter said these are the people who were chosen from every kindred, nation, tongue, and people.
There was another group that consisted of Catholics and a few other ecumenical groups, and Peter said that these are a group of people who are surprised to be here.
Then there was this very small group all the way over by themselves in their exclusive little corner of heaven, and the man asked "Who are these people..?"
These are the Seventh-day Adventists, and they think they are the only ones who are here in heaven."
Several churches in the South decided to hold union services. The leader was a Baptist and proud of his denomination.
"How many Baptists are here?" he asked on the first night of the revival?
All except one little old lady raised their hands.
"Lady, what are you..?" asked the leader.
"I'm a Methodist," meekly replied the lady.
"Why are you a Methodist..?" queried the leader?
"Well," replied the little old lady, "my grandparents were Methodists, my mother was a Methodist, and my late husband was a Methodist."
"Well," retorted the leader, "just supposing all your relatives had been morons, what would that have made you..?"
"Oh, I see. A Baptist, I suppose," the lady replied meekly.