thanks for that, i am tending to come to the same conclusions as you letts
i looked up the HD280 Pro and then i got onto a guy here in Aus and had a chat with him this morning, he told me the same as you, it has something to do with room sound he says and to be a meter or so away from the sound to get a true idea. he said that even though he sells many high quality desk phones that he believed that my problems could not be solved in this way even at the risk of losing a sale to me.
i have sent him pics of my studio and three songs i have done, even the song that did well in Thailand was crap really, what can i say Thai females are hopeless romantics i think lol and after all the song is called "You Are Everything"
anyway he is sending me info on cheap but workable monitors, he suggested that headphones have their place but not in the final mix, which is after all my greatest problem.
Thanks for your inputs
Regards HowardH
By the way That song Dear God by XTC, what a great song, i cant believe i never heard it before, very good writing as well HH