tauzero

As well as the scowl (see above), we generally have so little room to set up in that no punter would be able to squeeze in anyway.

One of these will charge them up: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/365049487852 (the UV light). As a bonus, you can play with cats with the laser pointer.

My perpetual scowl seems to work.

Which, as I have said before, isn't my experience. But it's pointless me repeating that, because you have your experience and I have mine.

Perhaps a few of the victims could get together and contact Watchdog. See if the police can be shamed into some sort of action.

The next door neighbour starts banging on the wall.

That looks like a very sensible solution. Addresses both the neck dive and (at least to some degree) the tilt issue.

Chop the headstock off and put a headless bridge on. Gets shot of both neck dive and annoying questions about which bridge is best.

Wireless to multieffects/pedalboard, then 3m or 5/6m lead to amp. Only use right-angle jacks if it's a pedal board that I'm keeping the internals as slim as possible. Don't use right-angle jacks into amps or basses (I have some with recessed jacks and a one-lead-fits-all policy).

Michael Jackson wrote a song in praise of him: Love, Never Felt So Good. Alicia Keys wrote a cautionary song about an anonymous shed felter who did a rather poor job for her: Never Felt This Way. While Duke Ellington, experimenting with new techniques, documented one in I Never Felt This Way Before.

It's challenging, but I've nearly got it:

Wouldn't you want it as far forward as possible to alleviate neck dive, in which case directly between the two headstockmost bolts would make sense? There is a second issue - with the strap peg on the back of the bass rather than where Orville put it on the upper unhorn, it will tilt forward. I don't know how much, it's something I've encountered on the Hohner B2 which is a rather different body shape.

I would suspect an issue with the wiring of the jack socket, maybe a strand of wire shorting the ring and sleeve. If you have a multimeter and a stereo jack plug, you could check the resistance between ring and sleeve without doing any dismantling.

All your bases are belong to us.

General purpose handyman Dynorod Stewart might be able to do shed felting.

Anything that conceals a little bit of the pointless ugly lump of wood that so many manufacturers have at the end of the neck is a Good Thing. And leaving a clip-on tuner clipped on means it doesn't get lost.

Collar felt is absolutely useless for use on a shed roof. Ms Twelvetrees can supply the list of appropriate felts, along with the requisite forms for felting.

The Zoom is pretty good. If you want a fit-and-forget unit it's great.

I did try a little extra prompting with Mrs Zero. "Beatles bass player? He got mentioned at the open mic night last night about ten times [1]." "Paul McCartney". "Thin Lizzy?" (she's a Thin Lizzy fan) "Phil Lynott". "Motorhead?" (she's not a Motorhead fan) "Lemmy". And I supplied the answers John Paul Jones, John Entwistle, and Geezer Butler for three other bands that she's a fan of, because she couldn't remember them. [1] It's a standing joke to say that any song is written by Paul McCartney

There's an answer to that.

At the moment, until I sort out the HX Stomp based pedalboard that is next on my list, a Zoom MS-60B.

Mrs Zero got Gene Simmons and John Deacon.

I have a few short-scale rubber string basses. I find playing them with the left hand in the same sort of position as you'd play a violin in (fingers pointing along the strings) is easier than the approved across-the-strings left hand position that you'd use for a full scale bass.

Ashdown too, and GK.