I've been experimenting with my lot lately, as we are considering IEMs for singer,guitarist and drummer.
So, we do have an E kit, which makes it all possible but he still likes to be pretty loud in his 15"400watt wedge.
What i have been doing is, before each rehearsal, over the last 3 weeks, just knocking master levels on wedges and FOH back a bit.
After 3 weeks i got a "It's a bit quiet tonight" type comments, but once we played one song, we instantly got used to it.
I did later knock it back up a little, for some vibe, you really can't play some stuff that quietly, but, basically, we have a clear as glass mix, can instantly hear if anything pops out of the mix, like a key part or guitar riff, and nobody needs earplugs.
This would still work with a real kit, because you probably are all playing louder than you need to, as it creeps up without anyone regulating it.
This is just best practice with noise anyway, but it really gets people disciplined when they know any obvious volume change will be noticed.
I'm sorry for all of you in bands with people who insist they have to play loud to make it work. They are wrong.
Btw, try standing in front of an AC30 and tell me it isn't very loud. I have to use a power soak on one client in large venues, just to be able to mix it properly.