Stick on some AC/DC. Phil Rudd will have you playing in time to him, in er, no time. ^_^
But seriously. Rhythm and timing is something you're born with, in my opinion, rather like co-ordination (sports). You can learn it, but to some, it will come easier than it does to others.
Maybe get a cheap drum machine, or download some drum loop samples. They're far more interesting than a metronome. Besides, they'll be quantized anyway. Shake your body to the kick and the snare and enjoy. :brow: