KingBollock

Oops!

The worst drivers I know all consider themselves to be the best drivers they know. I don’t understand bragging about crashes and stuff. I remember, back when we were on dial-up, one mate sent me a picture of his car. The file size was 10mb and took three hours to download (which was the maximum I could download because the internet disconnected after three hours and lost anything that hadn’t finished downloading). I even worried that it might be a virus. He was bragging about having hit a traffic island so fast that his car jumped and turned 180° in the air. There were no other cars present, which is something, I suppose. Later on we sold our van to him. One day he claimed he was cut-up by someone and, in anger, he used the van’s bull bars to ram the other car, pushing it across the road and up onto the pavement. His punishment for this? An anger management day course… (Unrelated, he was later sent to prison for trading evil images of children…) There have been only two drivers that I trusted completely. My mum and my wife.

That sounds like my youngest brother. He’s mad about cars and loves all that boy racer crap. He thinks he’s a brilliant driver, but he just shouldn’t be allowed near a motorised vehicle… For his 16th birthday my parents bought him a scooter, a proper oldschool chicken chaser type thing, not one of those little electric things you get now. He promptly wrote it off by crashing it into the back of a parked car. Later, once he learned to drive and got himself a car, he managed to crash it into a bridge. But my favourite was the time he drove through a bus station (that you’re not allowed to drive through), and managed to park it IN a kebab shop, having jumped up a curb and gone straight through the front window of the shop. He’s a professional driver now…

We went with some friends to see their daughter perform in a talent show in a venue on Cromer pier. I don’t really know how to describe what her troupe were supposed to be doing but it was truly awful, an absolute shambling mess! My mate was relieved that only the best three acts from each category went through to perform again in the afternoon. He was just glad that we wouldn’t have to stay for that. Except that there were only two acts in her category, so they got through by default. I buggered off outside and spent the afternoon crab fishing.

The only thing I can think of is the Digitech Bass Synth Wah. Which I got new for £34 (I believe I got it just before they stopped making them). I had no idea what I might do with it, but I do sometimes enjoy mucking about with it.

… I grab my walking stick and hat as I leave the house. Jump in the van, still wearing my hat (leather flat cap), and off we go to the lake to do some fishing. I take my hat off before I get out of the van, get set up and put on a different hat (peaked cap)… I sometimes wear my hat (flat cap) indoors if I’m feeling particularly paranoid and worried someone might nick it (it wasn’t cheap) or that I might forget it and leave it behind. There are sunglasses involved, too, but I can’t be bothered with the details.

I have had a couple of ideas for one of my basses, but haven’t actually got around to doing yet… #1 - Replace the cavity cover with a piece of 1mm steel with some ebony veneer. Drill the screw holes in the body to fit some magnets. But I worry about losing it. or #2 - Mount a battery box into the cavity cover.

I have a Fender strap on my Fender banjo, and I thought it would look nice on my Squier telecaster but I couldn’t bring myself to do it!

I don’t get particularly sweaty hands but my thumb still sticks. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for a couple of things… I have a thumb injury I got as a child, this is exacerbated by neuropathic nerve damage that goes from my neck, down my arm and into my thumb. And I can’t play with my thumb brace on. It bloomin’ hurts!

The weirdly stretched body shape of Spectors and Warwicks. Warwicks aren’t helped by that headstock, either. The dumpy, drawn by a child, shape of Wals.

I have a PC and it’s drives all named after fantasy swords. I have another PC and it’s drives named after ships from the Alien franchise. Three of my basses also have names (one of which is named after a fantasy sword…).

I hadn’t but I have now. Thank you! They’re not a bad price, either.

I have a couple of these in the living room. One for guitar and one for a mandolin. They’re nothing special but they are nicer than normal guitar stands. They come in two parts, so they pack down nice and flat. And they’re only £12.99. I love the grabby Hercules stand but it won’t take my favourite bass (not tall enough) nor my favourite guitar (the Telecaster headstock not being wide enough).

A friend of my wife’s owns the only pub in the village. She’s always been strict about closing at 11pm and is only open four days a week. She used to put on live music in a dedicated function room. Then a couple moved in next door and started complaining… So, no music anymore, live or otherwise. This isn’t good enough, though, oh no! They don’t want people talking while walking past their house at closing time. So she had to buy signs that tell people to be quiet when they leave. She has decided to sell the pub, and those neighbours are part of the reason for it. There used to be two pubs in the village but the other one got turned into a bistro/deli. Who knows what’ll happen to her pub once it’s sold?

Thanks! I always appreciate an opportunity to post those pics!