KingBollock

When I was 12 years old, my dad decided to get rich by making my brothers and me play instruments and be a band that he would manage… He decided that I would be the drummer. I was a huge Iron Maiden and Motörhead fan and didn’t want my dad to have it all his way (especially as what I really, desperately wanted for that Christmas was a radio controlled monster truck, not an instrument!), so I said I’d play bass. He hadn’t even thought about bass and he agreed. Ironically I believe I would have been a more natural drummer than I am a bass player. I loved playing the kit my brother got. I had planned to get a small electronic kit since we were moving into this house where I would have room for one. Unfortunately I have dodgy rotator cuffs, which I wasn’t going to let stop me. But then I suffered quite extensive nerve damage that make my left leg all but useless. Just sitting upright for more than 3 hours causes a lot of pain. More than 4 hours can make it so I can’t walk for a couple of days. So, as much as I really would love to do it, I don’t think it’ll happen. Mind you, if I saw a kit going cheap enough, I might well still be tempted.

Often when this happens to me, the song will get stuck in there for several days, and often, it’s just a couple of lines, going around and around and around. It can drive me nuts. Talking of the Toothbrush song. When I was a kid my brother and I were playing in the snow in our back garden, when we suddenly found a 7” vinyl record, just sticking out of the snow. There was no sleeve, just the record, but it was undamaged. I imagine that one of the kids from one of the other back gardens had used it as a frisby. Even though it was only 7”, it had the Toothbrush song, Teddy Bear’s Picnic, Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer, Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea (which I loved) and one other that I can’t remember right now.

I have had The Chosen by Voltaire stuck in me noggin’ for more than a week now. Not the most cheerful of songs.

Yup, I hated mine. The only problem I had with it (except the way it sounded) was having to replace its bridge rectifier.

Just because it hasn’t already been mentioned, I take Magnesium Citrate (specifically the Citrate) for hand cramps.

One of the first records I ever bought* was Chalk Dust (The umpire strikes Back) by The Brat. *There was a hi-fi and TV shop in town that had a small selection of singles for sale. They were 25p each or 5 for £1 (this was the early 80s. I would have been about 11). I bought Chalk Dust as mentioned above, David Bowie - Absolute Beginners, Maria Vidal - Body Rock, Red Box - Enjoy (Solid Gold Easy Amex) and Dio - Rock & Roll Children (this one changed my life. I only bought it because I had picked 4 and wanted a free one. I didn’t know the song but I liked that it had a dragon on the sleeve!).

I Googled these because I am warmly wrapped up in bed right now and I know I’ll forget to take a photo later, again. I do have the Warlock here, at this house, I am just forgetful. The one in the coffin case is the 5 string version (mine came in the same case. I tell people it came for free and that’s why I have it. And while all that is true, I actually really like it…). That was the bass I was thinking of going for, then my wife saw the colour of the Cort I mentioned earlier in this thread and I decided I didn’t need 3 5 strings.

When I was a kid I worked in a guitar shop. This would have been ‘89 to ‘91. While working there someone asked me what my dream bass would be; I basically described the BC Rich Warlock NT, which they didn’t actually start making until about ‘99 and only made for ten years. Then, about ten years ago, I saw one on EBay. All there was were two very blurry photos and a very brief description. So, technically, it might not be said that I bought this one specifically for its looks because I could barely make it out. It was somewhat of a gamble, especially as I had never even played a BC Rich bass before. But, while it wasn’t expensive at £265, including p&p and a Warwick, coffin hard case, it was still a lot of money for me. It’s actually the most I have ever paid for a bass. When I got it, it was in great condition. I was expecting missing pointy bits, but they were all intact and there were no other dings or scratches. However, the action was so high that it was unplayable! And it must have come out of the factory that way, there was absolutely no adjustment left to lower it. I couldn’t even find a bridge to buy that was thin enough to make a difference. Most odd. In the end I ground off the bottoms of the saddles until they were half as tall. It made all the difference! It plays beautifully, now, and sounds ace. I shall never, ever sell it. They’ll have to bury me with it. It’s name is Ravensfriend.

I really struggled finding a good photo of one on Google. I couldn’t take one of mine because I haven’t moved it into this new house yet. I only have my Warlock with me because it has got a hard case.

I once went to a shop to buy picks and ended up buying a Cort T35 in “Geometric Copper”, because my wife liked the colour…

It goes into the sea. Which is the real reason for sea level rises!

Creaky Blinder and Sir Sic can be good for a more light-hearted/sarcastic take on conspiracies. I think both of them have done stuff with Scimandan. Creaky even had Aron Ra on his podcast recently, which was a bit of a coup for a small Youtuber. I often find conspiracy videos by people like Hans Wurmhat and the bloke behind Mud Fossil University can be equal parts fun and frustrating.

If you have to have a browser open in the background, I can recommend Opera GX. It’s meant for “Gamers”, but the best thing about it (other than the ability to control your RGB lighting (mmmm pretty lights…)) is that you can tell it exactly how much RAM and GPU it is allowed to use.

Ah, that would explain it!

I don’t remember mine having any of that stuff.. Not mine, I got the pic online. I’d have burnt any photos of mine if I had any…

There has been Ring Mods on every multi effects unit (bass and guitar) I have ever owned. Bit Crushers have only popped up on later ones. And thanks. I have been using this name since 1997. It has been the cause of some mirth when having to give my email address in shops, or when I get parcels delivered from companies where I am signed up as this (which is everywhere that my wife doesn’t have an account). One year I did an “ego search” and discovered that I had come third in a Best Usernames On The Internet thing (they mentioned where and when they had seen it, so I know it was definitely me and not the robbing scrote on Steam..!).

I tend to use Delay in place of Reverb. Not a fan of Tremolo, but I can see why it is a thing. However, Ring Modulation and Bit Crushers… I just don’t get them at all.

My band/gigging “career” was very short lived, being from the age of 12 to 17. I have since spent the last 30 years playing with myself. I made a couple of unfortunate, naive decisions, the last of which left me living in another town, with no way to contact the members of the band. Everyone had my number and knew where I (had) lived, but I had no one else’s (this was all pre-mobile phones). They were brilliant people, funny, helpful and incredibly talented. I still miss them to this day. I really, really miss playing with other people, so much so that it physically hurts to think about it. I just want someone to play with. I am setting up my Lair so that I can record music (all but drums), but I can’t sing and lead guitar is beyond me. And I am hoping that I can learn the recording process. It doesn’t help that I now live in the middle of nowhere. And while I would happily play several different genres, what I would really love to play is quite niche. And I am physically disabled, with a huge helping of mental health issues. So, while I would desperately love to make music with other people, it ain’t ever going to happen for me.

I just think a nice rack is cool… Sorry about the guitar stuff in there. None of it ever leaves the house, so it all lives together. This is the only photo I can find. It’s all currently still at the old house.

I once got a dodgy pick in a set of Dunlop Primetones (3mm). The pick wasn’t actually dodgy, it was just that an incorrect one had got in (bit cheeky considering they’re £8.99 a pack of three! I should have complained). The wrong’un was one of their rounded/blunt versions. I find that that pick and a change of attack gets me pretty close, without fiddling with any knobs. The 5mm version might be even better.

I’ve got the Hartke HD15 and I like it. I bought it for it’s physical size (it’s easy to take away with us when the car is packed to the gunnels with suitcases full of clothes that my wife thinks she might need…). I think it’s plenty loud enough for a bedroom, especially if you’re trying not to disturb other people in the house. The Aux input allows you to play along with stuff on your phone or whatever, if you plug it in. And it has a headphone output, too. I have other, much larger amps (in physical size and watts), but the HD15 still has its place for me. We’re currently moving house and my other amps won’t be here for another couple of weeks; I have my HD15 with me and it’s all I need right now. It’s also well under your budget. What you save can go towards an upgrade in the future, which, if you buy anything under 100w, is inevitable. Another amp to look out for on the second hand market, is the Laney RB3. My mate bought one last year for about what my HD15 cost me new. His RB3 is a cracking amp and, because it’s Laney they tend to go for considerably less than the Fender Rumble.

That makes me very glad that there’s no photo of me dressed as Frank’N’Furter! Edit: Found a pic of me from the mid 90s. Not quite as magnificent as your outfit, but very different from 80s Hair Metal me (despite the hair metal t-shirt…) and, even more so, me now…

Late 80s for me was mullet with skin-tight jeans, a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a leather jacket. Ten years later (and about another ten stone) I was in Birmingham one evening, wearing a shirt with flowers on it and with hair long enough to mop my sweaty bollocks with (should I so choose), and a bloke approached me, absolutely convinced I was Meat Loaf.

Would love me one of them! It’d go nicely with my Peavey T-Max head and Peavey 4x10. I don’t care that it’d never see the outside of my hobby room. That is unless a Blackened Death or Old School Death Metal Band were to suddenly move into the same, rather remote Welsh village I am about to move into. And they don’t mind that I can’t physically lift anything or drive… That’s not asking too much, surely?

There’s an irony in this, but I believe I would have made a better drummer than I am a bass player. The irony being that my dad had decided he was going to make his fortune by getting me and my three brothers to be a band that he would manage. He had decided that I was going to play drums. I was upset by this because I wanted a radio controlled monster truck… Anyway, I didn’t want him getting it all his own way, so, being an Iron Maiden and Motörhead fan, I decided that I would play bass instead. I own several instruments. Mandolin, banjo, keyboards, guitars, ukulele, penny whistles, blues harps, ocarina, violin, bodhran, bongos and various other small percussion things. I tend to play them all (the ones that I do actually play) like a bass player. Whenever I say that, people question “How can you play a penny whistle like a bass player?”. The answer is “I don’t know, I just do”… In all honesty, the one thing I have always, for all my life, wanted to be able to do more than anything, is be able to sing. People say things like “Everyone can sing.”. No, not everyone. Not me.