Look at it this way.
If you are female and they don't want any females in the band ( and vice versa...I saw an ad recently for a female bassist wanted for an all woman band),, at least you are aware "up front" and don't waste your time applying.
If they go by societies' rules and speak to everyone, they will just not ask you to audition, nobody is any the wiser and you still don't get in the band.
Or worse, give you an audition and having spent ages learning the songs, they were just "going through the motions" with no intention of hiring you.