Mel, come on, lighten up a little. We girls did give you a bit of relevant info in between the guys' laughs, after all.
My two cents is basically to look far beyond Fender and copies thereof, which are relatively big and heavy (not to mention boring!), and find a small bass (Warwick Corvette, one of the little ones from Status if you can afford it, etc.). With small size usually (although not always) comes lighter weight, and better handling. Having said that, even my Corvette 4 still looks huge on me, but hey ho, I am tiny...
Hope you find a bass you can be fully comfortable with. Keep us posted.