01 Ever played a gig sitting down?
Yes -
(a) big band gigs, and accompanying a choir - however my Rat music stand also gave me the option of standing;
(b) when I had pulled a muscle in my back.
02 Ever gigged on a different instrument?
Frequently on skinny-string guitar.
03 Ever shared a stage with a musical hero of yours?
No.
04 Any fan ever had a tattoo of your band's logo?
Never had a band logo, so no.
05 Ever signed an autograph in a dressing room?
Possibly. On the country music club circuit, the audience is somewhat elderly, and a surprising number still have adult offspring with learning disabilities living with them. It is not unknown for said offspring to want autographs and phots with the band, but usually this takes place at the front of the stage.
06 Ever cried on stage?
No, but I have cried unashamed tears of joy at a couple of concerts I have attended.
07 Ever worn a hat on stage?
Frequently - cowboy hat at most country gigs. However I do not subscribe to the apparently common belief that a pork pie hat (or similar) instantly transforms a middle-aged male band member into a paragon of cool.
08 Ever gigged with a band you hadn't met before the gig?
Yes, a few times.
09 Ever been in a relationship with a fellow band member?
No.
10 Ever played in different bands on the same day?
Yes.
11 Ever had anything thrown at you while playing?
No. Well not that I know of.
12 Ever crashed on the way to the gig?
Yes. Backing up to the venue to unload, took out the offside rear of my car on a stone wall, despite having parking sensors.
13 Ever left a band over the choice of set list?
No.
14 Ever slept in the venue despite it not being a hotel?
No.
15 Ever been supported by a band clearly better than you?
Rarely been the 'headliner', consequently no.
16 Ever played a gig suffering from some debilitating medical condition?
Yes. Went down with a fever on a dep gig once, spent the breaks hugging the radiator. Also have sneezed so hard from hay-fever that that I whacked my headstock on the top of my amp.
17 Ever been in a band where the guitarist was your favourite bandmate?
Yes, but it was a 3-piece, which doesn't say much for the drummer.
18 Ever played in the grounds of a stately home?
Yes, a few times in my function bad days.
19 Ever injured yourself on stage?
A couple of months ago I badly pinched my RH pinky in my guitar stand whilst setting up. No sticking plasters, so had to gaffer-tape my finger. The tape then kept catching on my scratch-plate when I played. On that particular gig, that was actually the least of my worries! The other day I found some of the dried blood on my guitar neck and scraped it off.
20 Ever been told that your bass isn't loud enough?
Yes, about as often as I have been told it was too lud.