The problem with written word over spoken is that the written word can be read multiple ways.
Because we don't actually know each other in person, how a person talks etc, reading something can easily come across with a different undertone from what the poster would when they speak.
I'm relating this not to just one person here, but to multiple.
I don't know how Tom speaks, but there's every chance being from the US that Tom may be quite a loud & flamboyant character. & I'm not putting that as a negitave.
But I don't know how any of you guys speak & where I think you all sound like good folk, you each may well be totally different from what comes across on here.
Anyway, carry on.