[quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1468779030' post='3093267']
I was thinking exactly the same thing.
A lot of what the OP wrote mirrored pretty much exactly my own experiences with playing in bands (and life in general) - loved the playing, never had any stage fright but all the other stuff terrified me. The bit between setting the gear up until it was time to play was hell on earth for me, and this got worse & worse as I got older & started to drink less (the drink was helping me cope to an extent but I just couldn't carry on like that).
Got to the point where I just had to face the fact that I wasn't cut out for gigging & socialising in general, but I couldn't work out why as it was something I should have loved doing.
Lots of other problems with extreme anxiety, depression & just not being able to cope in lots of 'normal' situations led to me losing my job & finally to being diagnosed (twice, by two different clinical psychologists) with Aspergers Syndrome earlier this year at the age of 51.
Finding out the reason for why I behave like I do has been a massively positive experience for me - I know it's a cliche but I really do feel like my life started again when I was diagnosed.
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That's me. I used to do a lot of dep gigs for bands all around the country. The gigs were great, but the meeting and socialising was an absolutel nightmare for me. I have coping strategies now, but in the intervals and before gigs I just like to go and sit with a coffee and read a book or something.
My main current band are retired teachers, so fully understand my 'problem',
I have to be absolutely organised. I need set lists and charts/scores in advance. I put everything out the night before, and leave to the gig with plenty of time to spare.