The guitarist saying that down the mic would really bug me !
I have aspergers, and find the people thing awkward. The Jazz bands I play for seem to accept me being who i am, they'd never put me under pressure like yours has,
I also hate playing music that doesn't interest me, which is 99% of what most covers bands play, so I don't play it.
I wouldn't sell my gear if I was you. Play at home for a bit, maybe play original music ?