[quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1488566879' post='3250157']
I understand your frustration, but never quit in anger or reacting to something. That's something I learnt the hard way (in general, not just bands).
They do seem, however... 'a bit precious'. A lot of what you said would be huge red flags to me *if* I knew all that when joining. The band dynamics are not great, although you have an impeccable taste for dresses
I have to say I liked what I saw in that video. It's not my #1 kind of music, but I would be happy playing what you're playing... from a musical point of view. It can be great fun. But what you say about the personalities of the band members would frustrate me as well.
It's a tough one to choose to leave a band you enjoy musically. You have to decide whether you can be happy with the way the band operates, 'though.
It's probably a good idea to talk over beers once everybody is calm. If you have to go, you have to go and maybe you can go in good terms (even if you despise any of them... the world is small, so don't make enemies unless you really must, you never know when you'll come across each other again)... or maybe they get to understand your view and you can continue to enjoy the band.
The new 'manager' also sounds positive. It sounds like they listen to her and they are open to making small changes that can open up better possibilities for the band. Yeah, it stinks when you suggest something, get ignored, then somebody else comes with the same idea and it suddenly it's a wonderful thing! It happens. Sometimes we have to bite our lip and smile, and be pragmatic... But it may be a good sign. Now all you have to do is become her friend and next... the band is yours and do what you say! (joking... a bit)
I can't tell you what's best. It depends on just how fed up you are, whether the music can compensate for other things, and a million other factors only you can judge. All I can say is... don't quit while angry. Don't make any permanent decisions while upset.
I hope you can make it work *if* you can be happy in the band. I really liked what I saw. Nice work.
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Agree with mcnach here, maybe meet with bandmembers outside of the band individualy, work on personal friendships?
For the far away gig, is there any way you could help promote it? Send posters and flyers to all venues in that city for instance.
The music, what I hear is the Cult meets Marilyn Manson. Try to describe boundaries for the genre you are aiming for, and work within those lines when it comes to wardrobe, videos (last one was good, the hips one not so much, the goth scene relatively has a lot of female followers) etc etc.
Best of luck!