Happy Jack

And the goods I had actually ordered?

What was all the weight then? Ah, that would be this:

Well boy howdy, that can't be right, I thought. So I opened it. Most of it was bubble wrap.

I ordered something tiny from components supplier CPC. I was expecting a small padded envelope (maybe A5) to be pushed through my letterbox. The postman brought me a box similar to the ones you buy 5 reams of photocopier paper in.

Having read that piece I'm now expecting a new series of Thomann own-brand FX pedals to be launched later in 2019. Having reverse-engineered everyone else's pedals, and then made a note of which settings most guitarists prefer when testing them on-line, they should be well positioned to out-Behringer even Behringer themselves. Cynical? Moi?

That is simply glorious ... one of the finest typos I've seen.

Good for scales though ...

Muppet, you're looking in the wrong places and asking the wrong people. The people you should be talking to are anglers. https://www.anglingdirect.co.uk/fishing-tackle/luggage They outnumber musicians by roughly 100:1 and their gear has to be cheaper and more rugged than ours.

We used to do the Vanilla Fudge version of You Keep Me Hanging On ...

I'll never again apologise for my technique ...

I'm sorry Chris, sometimes I just can't help myself.

Actually, I doubt he bought it in 1965. Maybe 1966 though ...

I do remember the theory being advanced years ago that a really old bass in this sort of unplayed condition was quite likely a sign of a bass that was no fun to play or that sounded dreadful. Given that it's at The Bass Gallery I somehow doubt that this applies here, but I have an underlying curiosity as to how any bass survives 50 years in that condition. Did an aspiring bassist buy it new in 1965, discovered he was no musician, put it in its hard case under the bed and just forgot about it?

If that bass was Mint, wouldn't it be a sort of greenish white?

But Chris, that only works if the cases are full!

Here's my collection of miniature sound solutions ...

Agreed. I'm 62 but I came late to bass, so I'm only now realising that you can actually turn the amp up and your effort level down and get much the same effect. For me the catalyst has been playing DB in a rockabilly 3-piece. There is no way that I can maintain my previous digging-in style of play at that intensity, that speed, and for that long. Playing lighter is the only answer. On DB a pleasant surprise for me has been how much more depth of tone I get by not digging in too hard.

That stuff is easily available, a PITA to use (all the cables must be individually coaxed inside the rubber flap underneath), surprisingly heavy and floppily difficult to carry, and gets filthy and sticky at every gig. Apart from that, it's great. Rather than protecting vulnerable cables, just put the bloody things where they won't be vulnerable!

Route ALL cables wherever possible around the back of the stage, behind the backline, behind the drum kit. If necessary, buy longer cables to make this possible. Scrap all floor monitors - way more trouble than they're worth - and replace with tiny personal monitors on the singers' mic-stands. Where any cables absolutely must be routed where punters can trip over them, just gaffer them to the floor. If all else fails, buy a Snake unit but this really is OTT for pub gigs.

On a cruise that's probably good advice.

Up to a point. I had exactly this situation a couple of years ago. It then turned out that the reason for this attention to detail was that the other two band members were complete control freaks who wanted me to play EXACTLY what my predecessor had played, note for note, no room for anything else.

Oh bloody hell! Fair point, well made ...

My experience of this is playing in an Americana outfit originally formed by a ukelele-playing music-in-the-community merchant. She was very enthusiastic and did a lot of good, but she was a very limited musician and either couldn't or CBA to learn the songs properly. Over a couple of years the band attracted some much better musicians because the song choices were a lot of fun, but each as they joined pretty much 'dumbed down' to her level. Finally their long-term bassist left and I was recruited, and I don't do dumbing down. If it's a 5-chord song then I play five chords ... I don't leave out the funny ones in the bridge because someone hasn't learned those chords on a uke. It didn't end well. She got her boyfriend (guitar & banjo) to sack me, which he did very apologetically, then it turned out the rest of the band didn't know until it was too late and within a month both she and her boyfriend were out of the band and they had split up too. I should stress that there are no villains in this piece. She wasn't evil, her boyfriend wasn't a silly billy, and I probably didn't help matters. But stinky poo happens.

We're a bunch of 50-something guys playing to a pub rammed with 20-somethings. Girl comes up to me and says, "Can you play something by Keith Moon?" Says I, "By Keith Moon?" "Yes", she says, "he was the lead drummer in a band called Who". We have always described our sticksman as the lead drummer ever since.