Happy Jack

The band were on their last legs in 1972 and about to implode, when the News Of The World published an exposee about the band and groupies. The ensuing publicity pushed the failing band back into the spotlight and resulted in their success with this single which was pretty much their last real hit. It also explains the line during the playout at the end which goes: "read the Sunday papers" ...

I had quite forgotten what a great track that is.

I've lost count of the number of bands I've rehearsed with or auditioned for at that place. Scuzzy as it was, I'll miss it.

Playing bass for Trevor Horn ... no pressure, then.

I rather like this actually. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ashbory-type-bass-guitar-with-a-difference/173334881188?hash=item285b9063a4:g:hUEAAOSwwwRa7DTk But I'm really not convinced by the nut.

... when you can talk about the case? https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jack-Casady-Signature-Epiphone-Bass-Guitar-Metallic-Goldtop-WITH-CASE/132628599106?hash=item1ee147d142:g:yDAAAOSwT4Za8IJl

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/UNIQUE-HANDBUILT-BASS-GUITAR-IN-GOLD-MIRROR-WITH-1-HUMBUCKER-SEE-DESCRIPTION/112976729155?hash=item1a4df01443:g:2p0AAOSwLXpa0dEW

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Prometeus-Ahab-fullscale-bass-luthier-made-in-Italy-superb/292470856663?hash=item44189f1bd7:g:RyYAAOSwN5Vam91G

Why thank'ee, thank'ee kindly fer the kind words, gents. The bass is part of my obsession with Mike Lull's work, in this case an incredibly light 54 P.

Given that this conversation started in January 2017, and we have yet to decide even which town to hold it in, let along which date, am I alone in wondering whether this is an actual thing?

During the gig I was so distracted by what was happening to my left that I wasn't really focused on the drumming. It was only when I watched Silvie's footage that I appreciated quite how good Roy is.

Fleet (Hampshire) A bit of a departure, this one. Week #1 DDD is the singer who wants to put together an Elvis Presley / Buddy Holly band. Now I've been here before, and I know (from bitter experience) that you can't put together the band and then look for Elvis ... a bit cart-before-the-horse that way. So here I am with the Elvis I need, he already has a drummer, I play bass, all we need is a guitarist, how difficult can this be? DDD says "let's catch up after Easter". I ask him for some YouTube of his own performance. Week #2 DDD sends me YouTube links of him fronting a serious holiday-camp-style 60s tribute act, full matching silver suits, the whole thang. There's not much of it, but he can certainly sing. He can't find a guitarist, do I know anyone? The email ping-pong continues, I suggest we meet face-to-face and have a chat over a beer, maybe even jam through some of the proposed material. Week #3 DDD wants to hook up but can't do so for a week or two. He starts copying the drummer on the emails. Have I found a guitarist yet? I'm currently chasing FIVE of the buggers. Week #4 DDD circulates a short list of a dozen songs, six each by Elvis and Buddy. I've found just one guitarist who seems to be up for this. We all agree to meet the following Friday. Week #5 My guitarist is up for it, but needs another week to prepare. Week #6 My guitarist is no longer my guitarist. He's decided to stick to bedroom widdling. At least he has a more realistic view of his abilities than most guitarists I've met. Week #7 DDD says he will try again to find a guitarist. I make supportive noises whilst quietly thinking "Game Over, move to radio silence". Week #10 (yes, 10) Things get surreal. DDD emails out of the blue - would I be interested in playing a charity gig on Sunday during the BH weekend? My reply was, and I quote: Deano can apparently bring in both a guitarist and a keyboard player. It's a MacMillans Cancer support gig at a big pub in Fleet. That's all I know. There's nothing on the Web about it and the pub is closed for refurbishment. Several days of email ping-pong follow between the three of us regarding whether or not there will be a PA, will there even be microphones, is back line provided, etc. What could possibly go wrong? Halfway through, Deano adds a fourth person to the email trail - who he? Is he a guitarist? Is he a keyboards player? Week #11 Silvie and I drive down to Fleet. We're taking no chances ... we've left the van fully loaded from Friday night's gig, with complete PA, bass rig, etc. in case we turn up to find a child's karaoke set being used as the PA. And yes, I've seen it done. At the venue we are greeted by the sound of very loud, very live music. There's a large beer garden alongside the car park, a very serious PA is in use complete with proper sound engineer, and the band before us are a professional functions band. Hmmmmmm. Whatever next. I meet the others for the first time. Deano and Roy (the drummer) are relaxed, the 'guitarist' is laid back to the point of limbo-dancing under toilet doors. I say "You're the guitarist, right?" and he replies "Actually I'm a bass player who dabbles in guitar". Oh dear. I ask him if he's worked through the set list. He says he looked at it briefly last night. "But what about the key changes and so on?", I ask him. "What key changes?", he says. Oh dear, oh dear. "Are you going to be OK?", I ask him. "I'll be fine" he says, "I can play anything, and I play harmonica too, and of course I'll sing a few of these. If I'm in doubt, I'll just copy what the other guitarist does". Oh dearie dearie me. We set up on stage and - inevitably - the layout requires me to stand between the two guitarists. In the event it probably doesn't matter, since the sound guy turns down the guitarist as soon as he hears him play. So, how did my audition go? Judge for yourselves - here's the edited highlights with all the cockups skilfully and surgically removed:

Is you is or is you ain't ma baby?

Was it the Mescaline, do you think?

Don't know where it's going, but I know where I'd like it to end up ...

Nice work, Lowdown, that's exactly what I needed. Does he also do a transcription of what my bandmates actually play?

In that case, Chris, just cut straight to the essentials and call it NordChat.

How did it look in a leopardskin print?

Do you know if they used gold ball-ends Pete?

Bloody Hell! Is it in 11/4? Is it in 2/4 with an occasional extra note? Are those trumpets playing triplets? Does it look like this?

Thanks Andy. Reckon I'll give it another go with the T-Cut first, and this time give it a bit more elbow grease before I give up. If that fails, then I may try the denatured alcohol, if only because I've read about that stuff when I was reading up on Prohibition and I'm curious ...

I'm just trying to imagine the conversation at the offices of the CPS where the eager young lawyer (female, blonde, unfeasibly large cleavage & short skirt, constantly at odds with her boss but somehow always gets the verdict when the case comes to Court) tries to persuade the old fuddy-duddy from the Chief Justice's office that Detective Chief Inspector Crusty Hunk should be dispatched immediately to arrest these fugitives from justice who are knowingly selling basses with fake Fender decals and - gasp! - daring to state the fact in their oh-so-clever advertising. Hang the lot of 'em! Meanwhile, back in the real world ...

I refer My learned Friend to the Trade Marks Act 1994 and (if it will help) to the 'gloss' on that Act supplied by the CPS at https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/intellectual-property-crime As you can see, to incur criminal charges in this category is not easy. Putting a Fender decal on a headstock and claiming that it is a 'registered trade mark' is just about the only way to involve the Police. Passing off and unregistered trade marks Passing off occurs where a defendant makes a misrepresentation (which itself may or may not involve the use of a trade mark) that causes damage to the goodwill of the claimant's business which is itself known by a distinguishing sign or mark (effectively an unregistered trade mark). Strictly the right is not in the claimant's unregistered trade mark but in the business conducted under that sign or mark. The owner of an unregistered trade mark can take civil action to prevent passing off. Trade Marks Infringements There are civil rights and remedies for owners of registered trade marks in cases of infringement by unauthorised use - not just for goods or services which are identical with those for which the trade mark is registered and bearing an identical sign, but (with additional requirements) extending to: goods or services which are similar to those for which the trade mark is registered; goods or services which are not similar to those for which the trade mark is registered; and where the sign is similar to the registered trade mark. Criminal Offences contrary to the Trade Marks Act 1994 (TMA) Although only the offences in section 92 have specific enforcement responsibilities attached to them, there are other criminal offences under TMA which prosecutors may wish to be aware of, including: section 84 - unregistered person being described as a registered trade mark agent; section 94 - making of a false entry in the register of trade marks; section 95 - falsely representing that a mark is a registered trade mark (either by means of the word 'registered' or any other word or symbol); section 99 - unauthorised use of Royal Arms.

If I take a sharpie and write 'Fender' on the headstock of another bass, no law has been broken. If I take a Fender decal (real or good imitation) and stick it on the headstock of my bass, no law has been broken. If I sell a non-Fender bass with a Fender decal on the headstock, but my advert states clearly that it is NOT a Fender, no law has been broken. If I sell a non-Fender bass with a Fender decal on the headstock, and my advert states clearly that it IS a Fender, then that's - put simply - fraud, and yes, it is against the law. Oh well, one out of four ain't bad. Erm ... actually it iS bad.

Illegal? Possibly a matter for a civil action, if Fender could be arsed, which they can't, but illegal? I doubt if Inspector Knacker of the Yard has been called ...