Happy Jack

Can you get black frets?

But you have to wonder how this would have played out had the Helper From The Audience been a bald, fat bloke ...

No, no, no ... it's tone perspex.

Thing is, I'm not after 'enough watts'. I'm after 'enough volume'.

I guess I must be the only person here who didn't know that Stevie Wonder wrote Superstition for Jeff Beck ...

Who are Paramore? Are they famous? Why?

Just use Tippex (aka Sno-Pake, White-Out, etc.).

I once spent a very amusing couple of hours in the old PA Centre in Denmark Street (before Wunjo Bass moved down there) proving to my own satisfaction that there is no practical way to 'test' how good you sound through various microphones by simply singing into them. Ultimately, you have either have to record yourself and listen back later, or have someone whose ears you really trust in the shop with you. I came out of the shop with a Beta 57 and used it for a year, decided the E835 suited my voice better and used that for a year, then changed my mind and started using the 57 again. My vocal technique is very poor, and involves having my lips touching the mesh. This is not recommended.

Some things just never get old, do they?

Try running it though a Fishman Pro Plat ... you'll be amazed.

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Mine doesn't sound as good as either my Matamp GT100 (100W all-valve, worth £1000) or my Genz-Benz Shuttle 9.2 (900W Class D with full bells & whistles, worth maybe £700). Funny that. On t'other hand, it's actually more than adequate for many of the gigs I play, and it's so tiny that taking it as a spare is a no-brainer. It was cheap, too. If this amp didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent it.

She's working on me, Roger.

http://www.feldmanns-singende-saege.de

Can I just say how relieved I am that it is "Underway using Engine". It would be quite worrying if they were using the oars ...

Now this is a whole nother thang, the 'audience outside, band inside' nonsense. Even in my short (10-year) gigging life, I've encountered this more times than I'd have believed possible. Having played to an empty room, you get a constant stream of punters on their way to the Gents as you're breaking down, and they all say how great you were, and you think, "well where the f*** were you while we were playing, mate?". This pic was taken over five years ago, where the entire audience (in the pub) comprised a Border Collie. Meanwhile there were 50 people in the car park enjoying the unseasonal heatwave in October.

Ah yes, We Have A Nightmare.

The ones made in Yorkshire are branded Ibagum.

And the song goes on for FAR too long anyway ... just suggest they chop out the whole Slash-solo nonsense that makes up the second half of it.

So? Well? We're all on tenterhooks, y'know!

Pah! Call that a crowd? We've got the World Cup coming up, which means that our pub gigs starts to look like this: