And as if by magic, this suddenly arrived in my in-box:
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[color=#800000]Hello!
I'm sorry you're getting the mail from me at this Point in time,my family and I came down here to Istanbul, Turkey for a short vacation unfortunately we were mugged at the park of the hotel we stayed,all cash credit cards and cell were stolen off but luckily for us we still have our passports with us.[/color][/size][/font][font=arial, sans-serif][size=3]
[color=#800000]I have been to the embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all and our flight leaves pretty soon from now but we're having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let us leave until we settle the bills.Please be so kind to reply back so I can tell you what to do and how to get some cash to us.[/color][/size][/font][font=arial, sans-serif][size=3]
[color=#800000]I'm freaked out at the moment[/color][/size][/font]
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Now this is from the Outbox of a guy I used to play 5-a-side with, never a particular friend of mine, haven't seen him in at least five years.[/size][/font]
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Unfortunately, his use of English (he's a native Londoner) is - if anything - even worse that this, but bears no resemblance to this sort of speech ("Please be so kind ..." etc.).[/size][/font]