I think it depends on what the ambition for the band is, and also what stage of development it's at? If it's established and a purely "for fun" project then I agree, it should hopefully be relaxed e.g. my previous band which was a more "for fun" project and had a very stable line-up for it's final 6 years with no-one leaving. which was lovely. And when two key band members left back in 2022-23 (one emigrated, the other just felt it was getting too busy for him) it did lose quite a lot in terms of comradery.
My current crew is a more semi-pro outfit and I'm very conscious that gig fees are a significant source of income for several of my bandmates. We have a crew of 7 on rotation, going out as a 4 piece, so if particular individuals weren't willing to put in the time and effort to make it work then they'd be asked to leave 'cos it wouldn't be fair on the rest. I guess I'm lucky that, 4 years in, we've got a lovely bunch of musos and gigging/working with them is a lot of fun. We're defo still not 100% free from occasional band angst - but your point about being able to have a grown-up chat is 100% spot on. It's not something I've always got right in times past, but hopefully something I'm getting better at.