Dan Dare

A decent (I'm referring to ability, rather than temperament, personality, etc, which you tend only to find out about over time) drummer will always be in demand, so it isn't that surprising. They get more offers than most musicians, so are more likely to be offski.

Don't forget the banjo

Never ever? This is turning into the Why-don't-you-yes-but game (Eric Berne - Games People Play). Ah well, we tried.

Fair enough, but look. You posted on here about how you were unhappy about the way you played at a session. Being a decent bunch, people on here weighed in with sympathetic comments, sensible advice, etc. The next minute, you are disparaging people with no "drive", etc. Wasting time being "hard on yourself" (and/or others) is completely unproductive. You don't improve by making yourself or others suffer. You improve by working at it. You can't have it both ways. Most of us have or had (some of us are retired now) kids, houses, jobs, bills to pay, etc. It can be difficult to balance all the demands on ones time, but your situation is far from unique. How do you suppose others in your position manage? It's always possible to find half an hour to practice (use headphones so you don't disturb the family). How many hours telly do you watch a week? Knock a couple of hours off that and bingo, there's your practice time. I ditched my telly many years ago, when my daughter went to uni'. Obviously, you cannot do that if you have a family who like to watch it, but you don't have to sit in front of it because they are. I get a hell of a lot more done without that thief of my time sitting in the lounge. You don't have to go to that extreme, but you do have options.

So has all the beating yourself up led to your prospering? All the "drive" in the world is no substitute for ability. If you are making basic errors at jam sessions, the answer is practice, practice and more practice, not giving yourself a hard time. In my experience, people who say "I'm hard on myself" often use it as justification to be unpleasant to others.

Blimey. If anyone knows a brand new combo for £300 that'll do all that, order one for me, will you? Sandy's recommendation above is about as close as you'll get, but even that is closer to £350 new. Used will open the options a little more. If you don't live anywhere near a music shop, it's worth taking a day off work to visit a few and try things. Buying blind (or should that be deaf?) is a great way to end up disappointed.

All the time. I reckon aliens are changing numbers I've previously learned...

Or even Minty = damaged a bit more I enjoy some of the AI descriptions that are appearing on eBay recently, For example, "whether you're a beginner or a seasoned professional, this bass is sure to tick all the boxes" (a genuine word-for-word quote from one particularly desperate listing).

Trying gear for yourself is key. If you like what it does, that's all that matters. It's worth travelling somewhere where there is a good range of things to try. The last time I brought new gear, I took a day's leave from work and spent it at Bass Direct (other shops are available) trying things. It meant a bit of a journey, but I'm still using and happy with what I bought that day. It's worth thinking about buying something that has the potential to be added to should you need to make more noise in the future. If you ensure the head or combo you buy has a preamp/line out, you can augment it with extra amps and/or cabs without having to sell and starting from scratch.

Johnny's a monster player. Love it.

To sum up, it's OK not to like something.

Completely agree, Bill. I wouldn't recommend the Ampeg either in this case, but didn't want to repeat my point. It does grate a bit that, when someone seeks advice on here along the lines of "I'm a newbie/occasional player/don't have much to spend. Recommend me gear", the Greek chorus piles in with "Buy Barefaced, LFSYS, GR, Aguilar, etc. Nothing else is worth looking at". Yes, premium gear is great. I'm fortunate to own some myself. But some just cannot afford to push the boat out that far. Others are occasional players who don't want or need the best, just something that will do the job. You always offer sound (no pun intended) advice on here, which I appreciate.

No such thing as bad publicity, as P T Barnum observed.

It has. See the date stamp on the photo. Sad waste of a G&L MFD humbucker.

I'd say I was a fool for not putting the instrument away safely.

Once again, someone who is "not looking to spend much" is being recommended Barefaced, LFSYS and similar... I know. Buy once and cry once is the ideal, but some simply cannot afford to do so.

It's a possibility. I was discussing the experience with another pal who plays the fiddle and he told me the guy had been going round auditioning for people and behaving much as he had with me.

Check out Nervous Norvus - Transfusion (1956): Also Jimmy Cross - I Want My Baby Back (1965):

I told a couple of pals about it and they reckoned he'd done one of these self help/pop psychology courses, such as EST, that were all the rage in the 80s. They were all about being "assertive" (code for being an arrogant, self-regarding tw@t) and the like.

They're made from it. And plastic of course...

Contact Custom Cans (Google will find them). They do Beyer spares. Just got some stuff from them. Reasonable prices and 24 hour delivery.

I have a couple of stories. They're not as good as those above, but here goes. Back in the 80s, some pals and I started a western swing/honkytonk band in London. Two of the band members were an established guitar and fiddle duo who knew the material, so we were off to a good start. We put together a couple of sets, sent out demos and got some gigs. All was going swimmingly until said duo got offered several months of lucrative work in Europe and announced their departure. We debated what to do. I played fiddle (it was originally my main instrument), but was playing bass in the band. Should I swap to the fiddle and look for a bass player? In the end, we decided that it was better that we had a rhythm section that knew the stuff and that we should add solo instruments (we had a competent rhythm guitar player, who also sang). We had gigs in the book and figured that a solo instrumentalist who doesn't know a number could sit out and not leave a hole, whereas a member of the rhythm section dropping clangers would not be good. We put out some wanted ad's and booked a rehearsal room for auditions. We looked for guitar players first. We did have a few interesting characters show up, saying things like "country music and swing? Yeah, no problem. Only three chords, innit?". One bloke was amusing. He produced a beautiful vintage Gretsch when he set up (to approving nods from the band. He must know his stuff if he has the right instrument, eh?). We kicked off a number and he thrashed the unfortunate guitar, pogoing around and gurning. We nodded at him to take a solo, whereupon he turned the volume up and thrashed away at the same chords, jumping about on one leg and smiling broadly at us as if to say "Great, aren't I?". We politely asked him to leave his number in the waste paper basket on the way out. All was not lost, though, because two guys showed up together next. They were long-time pals and playing partners, both had Telecasters (one with a B bender) and knew what they were doing, so problem number one solved. Rather than hire a room to audition fiddle players, I suggested that I should invite people to my house to check them out (I would play guitar to accompany them) to weed out the no-hopers/weirdos. We agreed and I placed the ad'. One guy rang the doorbell, I answered it and he fixed me with a gimlet stare and asked me, in a heavy Germanic/Scandinavian accent, whether Zis was the place for ze audition. I replied in the affirmative, led him to the lounge and offered him a cuppa, which he declined. Attempting to make small talk and break the ice, I asked if he had come far. "Vot do you mean?", came the reply. "Er, I wondered if you lived far away", I replied. "No. I do not". His manner was rather intense. Right. Okay. Let's get down to it. "Vot does the band play?", he asked. Thinking "didn't you read the ad'?" to myself, I replied "Western swing and honkytonk. That sort of thing". Another gimlet stare. "Vot is honkytonk?" I rattled off the names of some of the better known players and singers and he looked blank. I picked up my guitar and asked what he would like to start with. "I shall play you a piece that I wrote", he intoned with a fierce glare. "Do not play ze guitar, please". Um, OK. Go for it. He launched into a frenzied rendition of, er, something, sawing away furiously. It sounded vaguely like an American old time fiddle tune, The Devil's Dream, but was in some sort of free time. He finally stopped with a flourish and I said "Ah, the Devil's Dream". His eyes bored into me. "No. I wrote this tune". Have it your own way, sunshine. At this point, I was ready to throw him out, but felt I should give him one more chance. I suggested I should sing one of the songs from the band's set and he could play along. He agreed and I launched into a straightforward Hank Williams number (can't remember which. It was almost 40 years ago). Before I had got to the end of the first line, he was carving away, out of tune, out of time. He played random inappropriate nonsense over the entire thing, to the extent that it was a struggle for me to get through it. I put down the guitar, thanked him for coming and said I'd be in touch. "So I am in ze band?", he enquired. OK, you want honesty. "I'm afraid not", I told him. "Why not?". "You just aren't familiar with the idiom", I replied. He glared at me and said "I am not satisfied with your explanation". I'd had enough. I took out my fiddle and gave him a few bars of western swing legend Johnny Gimble's party trick, which was to play swing fiddle and scat sing a harmony line (a great device. I'd worked for hours to be able to do it). "Because you can't do that", I said. With a face like thunder, he put his fiddle away and left without a word. Just as well. Saved me from having to clean his blood from my carpet.

Blue, stop being sensible. If everyone followed your lead, there wouldn't be any great stories like the above to amuse us.

We're catching you up pretty quickly, Bill. SUVs are breeding like rabbits here, too. Thankfully, many are not as massive as those favoured over there, probably because many of our roads are so narrow. Many actually have less internal space than an equivalent-sized sedan. Thankfully, bro-dozers are still quite rare, but give it time...

I suspect not. Although the instruments featured above are erm, unusual, they appear well-made. The maker may be barking, but he seems to know how to screw things together. I wonder what it is about the bass that causes so many to think they can build a better mousetrap. Doesn't seem to happen as much with other instruments.