Btw, the original post asked for stories. The best I saw was at a Burns night supper. I was playing in the ceili band. As is customary, a bagpiper had been booked. He had already done several jobs by the time he arrived - pipers normally play for 10-15 mins to pipe in the haggis or similar and move on - and had obviously been given a generous dram at each of them. He was incapable of speech, but could still walk and play so that was fine. He piped in the haggis, which was placed on a table on stage. The MC stepped up to read Burns's Ode to a Haggis, whilst our hero played, marching on the spot and marking time. Unfortunately, his inebriation, combined with the effort of blowing, caused a loss of control of his bowels. He was wearing his kilt in the traditional manner, so the resultant log dropped between his feet. As he was marking time, he stepped on it, slipped back and his foot flew up. The log broke into pieces and the bits flew into the audience. Members of the band narrowly avoided a coronary from the merriment.