Dan Dare

Word on the street at the time suggests it was muffled and crap.

Perhaps there's room for a chemical loo in case you're caught short.

The problem with wearing coverings on your fingers is you will lose sensitivity to touch and feel. Much of bass playing with your fingers relies on being able to feel how the strings respond and adjust what you do accordingly. Playing with nails will likely result in a thin, spiky sound. If you need to keep your nails long for the guitar, might be best to play bass with a pick. It will also save wearing out your nails (which will happen pretty fast if you play on roundwounds at reasonable tension). Sacrilege, I know, but there it is.

I have to say, whilst BH does little apart from blow over repeated 8 and 16 bar phrases, he is astonishingly accomplished. He's also very well read musically, particularly regarding 20th century classical composers. His playing is crammed with quotes and references. It's just a shame he does so little with his formidable abilities.

Astonishingly, it seems this is not a one off. They have a body of work. There are also commentators on YouTube earnestly deconstructing what they do and asserting that it's art and difficult to play, which it is, because random sh1te/chaos is by its nature impossible to replicate accurately. I was once hired to perform at a concert of music by George Crumb (look his stuff up if you fancy a laugh). The "music" consisted of a lot of random noises (all scored for full orchestra, mind, plus additional instruments - mandolin, musical saw and so on) with a soprano warbling some ancient Mayan text (or something similar) tunelessly over the top of it all. She was required to shout into the grand piano and do all sorts of undignified things. I had to play the mandolin with a bottleneck. The part was insanely complicated and utter garbage. This all happened in a London West End venue - tickets were not cheap and the place was full. At the end, there was rapturous applause. It was hard for many of the musicians to keep a straight face. Having a drink in the bar after the ordeal, we were surrounded by tone deaf poseurs with naice accents pontificating about how "original, brave", etc, etc the 'music' was. It seems many people who are not musical are terrified that they might be missing something, so they feign appreciation of such nonsense in case someone laughs at them for being stupid.

Why thank you, good sir. I'm hoping he's a spoof. The photo of him suggests he might be. If he means it, Gawd help him.

Overall, no. I've spent a lot of time doing technique exercises and trying to keep the fingers in trim, so that part hasn't deteriorated. However, having just done a couple of online Jamulus sessions with band members, I find my ensemble playing has suffered because I haven't played with others for so long. It isn't the same playing along with recordings, jam tracks and teaching/practice vid's and it doesn't provide the same motivation. You don't spark off others when playing in solitary splendour.

That's pretty grim. I take it the album is called Speech Ferapy...

Beware El Cheapo wall warts and PSUs. I've tried several and they all produce a horrible audible spike. The voltages claimed and printed on them bear little resemblance to reality if you measure them. There's a reason PSUs from Voodoo, Strymon et al don't cost £9.99.

26hz? Even if it will go that low (and produce usable volume at that frequency), it's meaningless. Start producing subsonic/infra bass frequencies and you run into all sorts of issues - tons of mud, gobbling up amp headroom, ultra low frequencies migrating into drums and other resonant or acoustic instruments, up mic stands into the PA, etc, etc, to say nothing of the problems involved in transporting it. If you really want enormous frequency range, it would be far more practical to run multiple cabs and horns, with proper active crossovers and dedicated power amplification. One of those "Look how clever we are" products that has little application in the real world.

It can happen that a battery will 'wake up' somewhat after being drained as long as it hasn't been completely exhausted. I'd suggest checking it with a meter immediately after the bass dies and then again the following day. If it does recover somewhat, that could explain why the bass works for another 10 mins or so. A dry joint won't usually cause a fade. It will either work or not and if it does cut out, it's likely to be sudden.

I have a mint set of MIM Fender tuners I took off my P/J (I replaced them with vintage style Gotohs soon after I bought the instrument because I wanted the old style smaller elephants' ears). They've been sitting in a cupboard ever since. Turn nice and freely and clean/unmarked. Shoot me a PM if they'd be of interest.

A keyboard playing pal found my old Jazz in a hock shop in the 1980s. Used it for a couple of jobs and then sold it to me for what he paid for it - £250.

True. I'd love to find the 5 string equivalent of my old 72 J bass, which I've had for 30 years. I've never liked any 5 string J I've tried, sadly, even expensive ones. A Lakland I tried came closest, but was too spendy for a first 5..

With us all being prisoners in our homes, my bands are keeping our fingers in trim via get togethers on Jamulus. You need a hard-wired internet connection to get the bandwidth and speed required. As I can't be bothered to keep switching the wi-fi on and off, I've been using the wired connection generally and Blimey. The difference is enormous. The sound quality on music videos, etc is in another league. I shan't be using wireless again unless there's really no alternative.

To which the answer is "Why?". We don't replicate vocal, keyboard, guitar or brass parts (apart from occasional and usually brief unison phrases). It's impressive, but musically pointless.

My wife told me "It's those instruments or me". I'm gonna miss her 😉

I dipped my toe into the waters of 5 strings last year and got a Cort A5+ FMMH. They are discontinued and you can (or could) pick them up for bargain prices. Balances nicely, 34" scale, Bartolini p/us and per-amp/eq (basic models, but still Bart'), through neck, light. I like it. However, I have to say, the Lakland you have is a very nice instrument. I didn't want to spend that much, but would have got one if I had. The difference between 34" and 35" scales is not really significant, unless you have particularly small hands. The frets are only about 1mm further apart, after all. Provided you don't use through body stringing, virtually all 34" string sets will be fine. I'd definitely persevere with the Lakland were I in your shoes.

Good advice. I saw an interview with Ritchie Blackmore on YouTube, in which he discussed being asked for advice as to what guitar and amp to get for a youngster. He told of a father who had said he was going to get his son a Strat and a 100w Marshall. His reply to the father was "Good luck with that".

Nail on the head. He just duplicates every drum beat. There's no groove.

This sounds like the issue to me. If the sound is over-driven, you have to overloading the input, probably on the mixer. I'd try running the Zoom into a line input.

Another vote for Chromes. I tried Cobalts (which I have on my 5 and like), but they're too bright for my tastes on a Jazz. One thing that is worth doing is to wipe down a new set with meths or similar. They have some sort of coating on them (presumably to prevent rusting in the packet) which makes them feel odd under the fingers.

The only thing I can think of is that something - a short, perhaps - may be draining the battery. That might explain the fact that it starts out OK and then dies.

If you want a traditional J bass sound, I'd avoid higher output pickups. I put a J Retro in my Jazz a few years back and removed and sold it because I found it made the instrument sound generic and lost 'that' sound. Before spending anything, try the SDs you already have. If you still have the ones it came with, try them too. You may save some cash. If you do want to try something else, I'd agree with Stub's suggestion above.

This. If you're worried, check the tightness of the bridge retaining screws. I've never been able to hear any difference bet3ween through body and top loaded. Seems pointless to risk breaking expensive strings.