skankdelvar

[quote name='amnesia' timestamp='1426014738' post='2713490'] I said about the imbalance measurement earlier. No body read it. I might have cried. [/quote] I read it. I just didn't understand it. Going now.

[quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1426018551' post='2713553'] They are all pristine, never been gigged. [/quote] As is the case with 96.8% of all Rickenbackers produced since 1980* [size=3]*Source: NAMM / Gruhn's Guide / YouGov[/size]

[quote name='Billy Apple' timestamp='1426014153' post='2713479'] But I need a shovel [/quote] Sorry! Wrong answer! Thanks for playing the game! And for viewers of a more - [i]mature[/i] - vintage here's your quiz inquisitor Mr Michael Miles: [size=3][b]Contestant[/b]: Yes, I... [b]Other man[/b]: GONNNGG![/size] [size=3].[/size]

Take your pick.

Rickenbackers are instruments for fanbois whose wallets are bigger than their ears and whose xenophobic stupidity allows them to be ripped off. RIC owner Mr John Hall is the classic Bullying American who stamps on copies because they're twice as good and 1/3 the price of his junky, dinosaur tat. Ric lovers are often deluded fantasists looking down their noses at the rest of us. [color=#fff0f5].[/color]

Rickenbackers are instruments for discerning connoisseurs who happily pay a higher price for fine American craftsmanship. RIC owner Mr John Hall enjoys an enviable reputation for prudently protecting his company's intellectual assets and trademarks. Ric haters are often simply jealous of those who embrace this world class brand.

Mr Bonamassa has dragged himself to the pinnacle of the Blues-Rock market by his own efforts and financial commitment. His love for the form is transparent. He releases God knows how many albums per annum (many on his own label), hurls himself into divergent collaborations, worships the guitar in its physical form, GAS's at an international level and maintains a modest demeanour throughout. Every so often a non-musician or a neophyte hobbyist winds themselves up to observe that 'Bonamassa doesn't have his own voice' and a few pilot fish swim in behind. I know that's piffle, even as an adherent of the rootsier end of blues and no particular fan of his musical output .

[quote name='sprocketflup' timestamp='1425933651' post='2712534'] 14 posts in just about 6 hours? hardly an 'avid' discussion? [/quote] More avid than some threads that slink on here, pull a couple of posts then crawl off and die. And it's not like it's the first - he crops up about every three months and has done so since 2008 to my certain knowledge. In fact there was a Sleaford Mods thread just now that veered off into Gallagherisations and I should know because I did the veering. Basically, every time he opens his big gob people rush on here whimpering about the nasty rude man and dabbing their temples with eau-de-cologne. You know why? Because he's big and loud and brash and - worst of all - a guitarist. Simple object of hatred for every passive-aggressive bass player who's ever stood in the shadows dreaming of recognition but can't step up because every time they do a small damp patch appears in the crutch of their trousers and a roadie has to run on and stand in front of them and towel them off. That's why he's a villain to so many of us. He is unadulterated, no-nonsense guitard and we simply can't bear it, my dears.

[quote name='timmo' timestamp='1425932806' post='2712514'] Didn`t Englebert Humperdink enter a few years ago? [/quote] Indeed he did. It all went horribly wrong. As it so often does when we think we've found 'the winning formula'.

Past it? Perhaps. And yet here we are avidly discussing our dislike of him Young people don't bother because they haven't heard of him. But those who sense the chill of autumn and the imminent touch of the grim reaper's bony finger look at him and say 'Why him? Why not me? Or [i]my[/i] favourite artist?'. Bilbo has it right ([i]law of averages, I suppose[/i]) when he says that people don't like Gallagher because he's working class and mouthy. So, envy and middle class snobbery it (mostly) is.

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1425930446' post='2712463'] nothing is more confidence-inspiring than being able to lob big ones into Johnny Foreigner's back garden at the slightest provocation. [/quote] Nor is there anything more calculated to raise one's spirits. Any time I'm feeling melancholy I lob a big one into someone's back garden and - Hey! Presto - the sun's shining and I'm walking on air.

[quote name='dieseldalziel' timestamp='1425931279' post='2712484'] Miki Santamaria [/quote] Funnily enough I once depped in the late Mr [url="http://www.nndb.com/people/467/000045332/"]Mongo Santamaria[/url]'s band. His version of Begin The Beguine' on solo congas was unforgettable. We just stood there open-mouthed. If Mongo had put something on YT no doubt some idiot would dismiss him as a bedroom hobbyist, which is just a reflection of modern societal norms.

Mr Gallagher's pronouncements inevitably mesh with my own estimations of his targets. And the simple fact is that everyone reads and remembers what he says but no one can ever recall what the other bloke came back with. Let's experiment with the following hypothetical exchange: Gallagher: X is the f**kin' Mr Whippy of rock X: The problem Noel Gallagher's got is that his records aren't selling anymore and - let's face it - his heyday was nearly twenty years ago, nothwithstanding he's given a lot of pleasure to a lot of people I'd have to say that there's very little fire in his work, particularly since the big break-up so yes, he might have been popular once but he's got nothing to say nowadays and I think it's just a bit sad really because I've got a copy of Morning Glory at home and it was a classic of its time, I was listening to it and - weelllll - his guitar tone is a bit mushy, that's something I try to avoid in my own work, so when we got Brendan O'Brien in for the last album we decided to use a mix of two Royer ribbons and a Heil PR-40 for the rhythm parts and when we EQ'd it through an Eddy Mercx plug-in in ProTools, there it was - ha ha! - my signature live sound. [center] [size=3][color=#ff0000][b]FACT: In Every Field of Human Endeavour Noel Gallagher Is Possessed Of God-Like Genius; [/b][/color][b]Only Bitter Underachievers Disagree[/b][/size][/center]

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1425928330' post='2712428'] So true. And it seems like a lifetime ago when you could smoke in rehearsal rooms without anyone batting an eyelid. [/quote] Or - indeed - neck a six pack of Special Brew and spark up a chalice of frankly Brobdingnagian proportions. Nowadays people stand around a rehearsal room like it was a Amish prayer meeting then get in their hybrid-electric cars and drive (below the speed limit) to their smoke-free, pet-free homes and place classified advertisements for instruments 'from a smoke-free, pet-free home'. When did everyone start to become such pathetic, weedy wets? I'll tell you. Thursday 22 November 1990. Which leads me to my next point. The minute the Europeans saw the fight had gone out of us they started dicking us around with the Eurovision. For 25 years the contest has been the perfect metaphor for our wider relations with the continent. Beckoning us lewdly on and soliciting our 'valued participation' then stabbing us in the back in a series of deals conducted in smoke-free rooms by giggling Frenchmen, haughty Spanish Dons and bull-necked Prussian Junkers. The only way we're going to win the Eurovision again is by reasserting ourselves and we can't do that if we haven't got an army that will make Ivan think twice. Only when our Armed Forces are back at the centre of Our National Life will the [i]Grand Prix De Chanson[/i] come home, never mind the Golden Rose of Montreux.

[quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1425916055' post='2712150'] It's not just our entries that are sh*t so are everyone elses [/quote] Ah, but it doesn't matter if [i]you[/i] think everyone else's songs are sh8. There's only one of you and 195m of them and they don't agree. For myself, I consider the acknowledged inability to produce a song for a different pop culture to be a searing indictment of Britain's Songwriting Community. Mind you, most of them are hipster-bearded little squits dabbing away at their 'decks' and sampling James Brown and 'mashing up' perfectly good songs for a Jamie T 'project', then you point them at a grand piano and they say' What's that? Is it - like - a horizontal cupboard?' I blame the smoking ban. Everything's gone to the dogs since songwriters were forbidden to smoke in studios. You simply [i]can't write a song[/i] unless you've got an Embassy stuck in your face and the keys are buried under a couple of inches of ash. It's what they call 'authenticity' and one can't buy [i]that[/i] just by having a Maori symbol tattoo'd on one's youthful, boyish, downy arse-cheeks. And - songwriters! - take those stupid Tibetan woolly hats off. They make you look like total c***s.

Here's how to get off to a good start: [list=1] [*]Make a list of the 30 most popular covers band songs [*]Learn the bass parts [*]Place an ad for guitarist wanted [*]Wait for one to reply [*]Send them the list and arrange to meet up to play five of those songs [*]See what happens next [/list]

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1425901203' post='2711901'] People in other European countries simply have no sense of humour and are clearly incapable of understanding ours [/quote] [i]And[/i] somewhat closer to home, it would seem. Back OT, let's examine the idea that we don't win because the nature of the British psyche means we're uncomfortable with the idea of 'winning' as espoused by those ghastly Americans or because the British are universally hated or because Britain invaded Iraq (along with the Australians, the Poles and 36 other countries) or because of anti-Europeanism. These are not [i]explanations[/i]. They are simply pre-existing 'opinions' redeployed in a new context. They do not illuminate the Eurovision question but say much about an individual's subscription to certain popular myths about the confusing, complex world which they inhabit. I would nevertheless concur that the faux-liberal public schoolboy 'managers' at the BBC positively revel in the idea of belittling such popular culture as does not fit their template. They burnish their metropolitan image the better to demonstrate how far they are above 'ordinary people'. They look down their noses at the peppy, brightly attired contestants and presenters; they pass arch, spiteful comments and disguise them as 'irony'. The fact is, the BBC hates anything 'common' unless it can make a patronising, paternalistic documentary about it. So that's Eurovision damned because the generally upbeat populism doesn't fit the BBC's glum world view. That's [i]my[/i] popular myth subscription, anyway... The BBC's superciliousness may certainly contribute to our lack of success for no one likes to be sneered at; but the mainspring of our failure lies elsewhere. It is merely that established and successful British 'traditional' songwriters are few and far between; even the best of today's crop do not bear comparison with those of yesteryear. Domestically-produced British pop music is irredeemably fragmented between faux US R&B and a kaleidoscope of other micro-styles, very few of which might appeal to the Continentals. Even when we attempt by design to craft a 'Euro-Pop' choon the finished product lacks conviction and bears the fatal impress of pastiche. It is all very simple. With a microscopically few exceptions the British pop music market is adrift from world taste and no one outside the UK much cares for our output. That's why we lose.

[quote name='Roland Rock' timestamp='1425840627' post='2711346'] Love Sleaford Mods and have met Jason a couple of times through mutual friends - seemed to be a very articulate, intelligent and respectful chap. [/quote] Then it's a shame the Guardian painted him in such different colours. That's the trouble with the press - they chop out all the reasonable stuff and distort the truth.

Narrow, crowded platforms; vertiginous escalators; a main hall reminiscent of Berlin Templehof in May 1945. Perfectly ghastly station and I am one of the few to remember its hellish predecessor which was worse but in a different way. This is why I take the Great Western line to [s]Curzon[/s] Moor St or Snow Hill whenever circumstances dictate I must set foot in Our Nation's Second City. As a journey and an arrival this is more pleasant by a not inconsiderable amount.

[quote name='taunton-hobbit' timestamp='1425839139' post='2711323'] it's very retro, a la Mitford/Cliveden (look it up) [/quote] What, a crew of 'Germanophile' 1930's English toffs? Which one's Vita Sackville-West? [size=3][b]Lady Astor, Electorate[/b]: Sit on it and spin[/size]

The fact is that there has only been one decent Eurovision song in the last forty-odd years and everything else from every nation has been utter sh*te. And participation in the event is usually a career-killer on the scale of pneumonic plague; the prudent artist veers away at speed when approached by the dribbling dotards who organise this demeaning clown car of an event I knew all this for a fact even as a mere child back in 1967 as I watched poor Miss Sandie Shaw 'Warbling Her Best for England' and nothing since has shifted my opinion one iota. The whole ghastly farrago might have made some sense when song-smithery was Our Great Nation's last line of defence against the Soviet Bear but ever since the appalling Frogs let the Ivans in along with their cheating, grinning chums Belarus, Moldova, Kazakhstan and - er - Denmark the voting's been a hideous cycle of betrayal and treachery that would make the likes of Philby, Burgess and Snowden blanch with shame. That anyone today might profess knowledge of or interest in this tawdry event simply beggars belief. This is what 13 years of socialism has done for us. [color=#ffffff].[/color]

[quote name='Telebass' timestamp='1425834475' post='2711245'] Looks gimmicky. But I reckon that's got legs. [/quote] What, screw-on jobs like a console steel? [quote name='SteveK' timestamp='1425835375' post='2711257'] Isn't it basically a MIDI controller with a couple of gimmicks thrown in? [/quote] It's a music controller for [i]hipsters[/i]. And you know what we think about [i]them [/i]round here.

[quote name='TheGreek' timestamp='1425835257' post='2711255'] I thought it was going to be about the railway station in Birmingham... [/quote] Me too. It's like something out of Dante's inferno, that place.

Doesn't matter if the players in these video clips are male, female, young, old, white or black. There's always someone who likes them enough to post them and there's always someone else to come along and say 'Could do better' - as if it matters.