skankdelvar

[quote name='MiltyG565' timestamp='1367346330' post='2064539'] Yup, intimidating is the word for this advert. ... Outlining the fine details of it in an ad is a bit heavy handed to my mind. [/quote] To be fair, the OP keeps saying that it's not an ad and that it never was. It's a wish-list that exists only in his mind. In the same way, it's a bit misunderstood for us to suggest that he's some sort of power-crazed dictator. Just unfortunate that he phrased the spec in the second person singular, because there's very little in that list that any of us would disagree with if [i]we [/i]were asked to spec out the ideal band. I get the sense that some us may also be inclining towards the 'Who do you think you are, chum?' thing, which would be a complete misreading of his post.

The way Telebass originally specced this would be a template for my ideal band. And - the issue of time-commitment / employment status apart - it all seems eminently reasonable to me. Small amp guitarists, singer with his own PA and mic, flexible availability, reliable transport, regular gigging schedule couple of nights a week, no 'Sorry I'm gigging with the other lot' let-downs. Judging by the number of rants we see here on BC about [i]all [/i]the above issues I think many would agree it's not actually a big ask. The only difference is that rather than start yet another fruitless moan the OP has flipped the negatives into positives and turned them into a wish list. Which seems to me to be a pretty constructive thing to do, even if it might seem a tough mouthful when read all in one go If I lived a bit closer I'd sign up on the basis that I'd rather work with someone who's got a plan than stooge around with the kind of deluded, aimless hobbyists that so many of us seem to encounter at every juncture.

[quote name='icastle' timestamp='1367253522' post='2063212'] He's being polite - it's more like a scene from James Herriot than washing up... [/quote] Ooo-er. That book of his, Rats. B'rrrrrrr. And 'The Fog'. Totally spooked me. What?

[quote name='neepheid' timestamp='1367228644' post='2062695'] Is there not a case for a fourth option - artist uses exactly the same model that comes out of the factory for Joe Punter? [/quote] And then there's the fifth option - the artist with multiple endorsements / sig instruments who plays another artist's sig guitar. Step forward Mr P. Townshend... Endorsements: Gibson 50th Anniversary Pete Townshend SG Electric Guitar (2011) Pete Townshend Gibson Signature Les Paul Deluxe Cherry Sunburst (2005) Pete Townshend Gibson Signature Les Paul Deluxe Goldtop (2005) Pete Townshend Gibson Signature Les Paul Deluxe (2005) Pete Townshend Gibson SJ-200 Limited (2004) Pete Townshend Gibson Signature SG (2000) Takamine FP360SC (1996) Pete Townshend Limited Edition Rickenbacker 1997PT (1987) Schecter PT/Saturn (1984) Gibson Guitars (1974) Ovation Guitars (1972) Mr Townshend has played a Fender Eric Clapton Strat for about the last 10 years.

The very good news is that - in gigging terms - you're already at the stage where you can recognise problems, spot issues and plan accordingly. My distant recollections of my first gig are that it was a triumph of the first magnitude. But were a recording now to surface, I'm sure it would document an unfolding train-wreck. Like so many first-timers I was blindly and unconsciously incompetent. Good luck with your endeavours, chum. Consolidate with your guitarist, score a drummer and have fun!

[quote name='MoonBassAlpha' timestamp='1367234657' post='2062835'] One of the reasons the Beatles did so well was the pop music of the time was mostly dull and awful, and by comparison, they were a bit good. [/quote] True. They stood out like the proverbial stone in a pile of wood. That there may be no-one today of comparable eminence and visibility may be simply because there are crillions of artistes all making slightly better than average (but not inspiring) music across a range of discrete markets. Bigger piles of wood scattered all over the place, while we wait for the New Messiahs who will never arrive.

Well, Al, I think you should just accept the inevitable and start carrying a gun to auditions. Or at the very least a can of tear gas. You might as well get some satisfaction from the audition process and you'd be doing the rest of us a favour by taking these sort of pillocks off the market. Look on it as a kind of public service.

The thing that strikes me about all this brouhaha is that Ms. Sande appears to have reached such a notable milepost without the daily news stories, hysterical fans and sober questions about her relative popularity compared to Jesus which attended upon the four lovable mop-tops at this similarly early stage in their career. It must be admitted that I have not listened to 'chart' music since 1982, but I would have thought that at least a faint sussurus of her burgeoning popularity would have reached my ears. But no; in my firmament she appears to have risen without trace. To paraphrase the old Ultravox ditty - 'She means nothing to me - [i]Ohhhh[/i] - Emelie Sande.' Such is my bewilderment, I am rather reminded of the eminent barrister who, when confronted with a well-known and highly popular household cleaning product, observed: 'What we do with all that Vim? I can never understand. Do we [i]eat [/i]Vim?'

Hall: You've got more Rickenfakers in your classifieds! Obi-Ben Kiwi: There are no fakers on this forum Hall: Yes. there are no fakers on this forum. Obi-Ben Kiwi: You are going to set up an offshore manufacturing deal in China and chop out immaculate Ric copies for £300 a pop, same headstock, no Epiphoning. Hall: I am going to set up an offshore manufacturing deal in China and chop out immaculate Ric copies for £300 a pop, same headstock, no Epiphoning.. OBK: We'll be on our way, then. Don't forget to boil your head Hall: Yes. Be on your way. I'm just off to boil my head.

[quote name='seashell' timestamp='1367152541' post='2061744'] Well I was believing your Nina and Frederick story but now I'm not sure. [/quote] All true, sadly. [url="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/obituary-frederik-van-pallandt-1437924.html"]http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/obituary-frederik-van-pallandt-1437924.html[/url] [quote name='Stacker' timestamp='1367151750' post='2061730'] You reeled me in there! [/quote] You're a good sport, Stacker

[quote name='Stacker' timestamp='1367150254' post='2061708'] !!! I am speechless...........you havn me on, Skank?? [/quote] Now why would I do a thing like that?

[quote name='Stacker' timestamp='1367145644' post='2061617'] Really? I'm intrigued. Do tell! [/quote] Sine the 1980's, Lang and Lovett have frequently toured as a 'package'. When Lovett was on the rebound from Julia Roberts in 1993, Lang offered the physiognomically-challenged Texan beanpole a degree of friendly moral support which, over time, began to blossom into something more. The only impediment to the consummation of this unlikely partnership was Lang's (at the time unstated) status as a practitioner of the Sapphic arts. In discussion, both agreed that the only way forward was for Lovett to become a woman and an appointment was accordingly booked at a Brazilian 'clinic'. Shortly before the operation, Lovett was enjoying an all-night drinking session with Joe Ely and Townes Van Zandt when the the subject came up and Lovett blurted his misgivings. Over a couple of bottles of Old Branch, Ely and Van Zandt talked Lovett out of his precipitate endeavour, pointing out that he would have to re-key his entire set to fit the castrato range. To cut a long story short, Lovett pulled out of the op, Lang saw red and the rest of the tour was blighted. Each night, Lang would deliberately sing her half of the closing duet half a tone flat, while sporting a t-shirt bearing the slogan 'Lyle Lovett is a Ly-ing Lover'. Matters came to a head in Gaines, Montana when Lang punched Lovett in the side of the head during 'Silver Needles' and the tour was abandoned.

[quote name='icastle' timestamp='1367107465' post='2061444'] Singing songs about skinny asses is never going to end well... [/quote] No, it never ends well. Not at all, no. In no way do songs about skinny asses end well, no siree. Apparently, Frederik owned the publishing rights to Burke's Peerage at one time. There's a thing, eh? Well, must dash. Got to soak my feet before bedtime. Terrible dry skin. Probably too much firewalking. Damn these company bonding weekends. [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ7r1LV07Ws"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ7r1LV07Ws[/url]

[quote name='icastle' timestamp='1367106537' post='2061438'] I have been trying to for many many years... [/quote] Well, now I've reminded you, I shall expand upon the ghastly fate that befell Nina and Frederik. Well, not Nina. Just Frederik. After they broke up, she carried on singing while he wandered off round the world, ending up in the Phillipines where he was shot to death in what police described as a 'mysterious professional killing'. She didn't have anything to do with it, mind, but it just goes to show, doesn't it? [i]"Little Donkey, Little Donkey, carry your precious load,[/i] [i]Little Donkey, dum-di-dum, dum-di-dum-dum-dum."[/i]

In-band relationships that ended in tears: Jack and Meg White Les Paul and Mary Ford Lyle Lovett and KD Lang and most famously - Nina and Frederik, dutch warblers of the early 60's. Who can forget 'Little Donkey'? [url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qudi6JqE-M"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qudi6JqE-M[/url] [size=3]* Renee and Renato don't count because they weren't married and anyway her name was Lesley.[/size]

Myself, I don't know of a bass-specific capo, but I've used a Shubb on my 4-strings. Dunno about 5-strings - depends on width of capo, I s'pose. Shubb series 1 capos are 2" wide and 9"-15" radius. The series 3 (for 12 string guitars) is 2.25" wide. Never used anything other than Shubbs, so someone else will have to pronounce on things like the Spider-capo and other brands...

Probably the greatest country singer / songwriter ever. Passed away aged 81, which is probably about 40 years later than most people would have expected, given his colossal substance abuse, drinking and generally wild ways. Maybe not the best of human beings, but a voice to kill for and songs that cut right to the heart of the matter. Good obit here:[url="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/27/arts/music/george-jones-country-singer-dies-at-81.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0"]http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/27/arts/music/george-jones-country-singer-dies-at-81.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0[/url]

Dear Worried I don't really know much about music, but I do know people. When a woman looks visibly annoyed but doesn't say anything, you can be sure the storm flags are flying. And if her mouth purses in a particular way (psychologists call it 'invisible lips syndrome') then trouble is just around the corner. You say the drummer had to walk home alone. This where timing is important. If he arrived home just after she did, then the row is likely to have picked up again straight away. But if it's an hour or two later, she'll have had some time to get over things. With luck, he'll have come through the door to find a casserole in the oven, flowers on the table and his girlfriend sat up in bed wearing nothing but Chanel No. 5. It's always a worry when a couple you know well are going through a rocky patch. You must resist the temptation to get involved or to ask either party what happened. And don't ask for pictures. And don't mention the original mistake. Remember it's every woman's privilege to fly off the handle for absolutely no reason at all. But if it carries on you've got a bigger problem in the long term. Do you live with the uncomfortable silences or do you mention it to both of them? Will they gang up on you and say it's none of your business? Same if you talk to just one of them - they'll run off home and spill the beans. It could all get very sticky and you could end up having to take sides. So here's my advice. Your drummer clearly can't handle pressure and your singer's a bad-tempered, silly cow. Find replacements and fire them both. You'll thank me in the long-run. Love, Deidre.

[url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasal_sebum"]This stuff[/url] Contains lots of squalene (naturally occuring lubricant used by watchmakers and optical lens grinders). And it's free!

Holy Kermoly, Bilbo! That's a pretty stellar line-up there - your craftiness and powers of persuasion must be without limit. My congratulations on your splendid endeavour. May it thrive like a thrivey thing. [color=#FFFFFF] [/color] [color=#FFFFFF].[/color]

Thank God! I've got loads of stuff backed up to be getting on with and the missus has been getting in my ear about it. Trip to the dump, tidy the shed. Maybe have a light lunch - fishpaste sandwiches and a nice cup of tea. Watch Jasmine Harman strutt her booty, slice of Dundee cake and a nap. Come the evening, back to BC to read the complaints and 'Not again!' and 'Why don't they use a beta site?' Wednesday's shaping up to be a good 'un, touch wood.

Okey doke. Found the headphones and listened four times. General impression - really good song, needs remixing, murky low end, structure needs some tweaks. Singer has right voice for genre and uses it right, IMO. Lyrics fine but need a teeny bit of editing / simplifying. Don't take this the wrong way, but it's a [i]perfect [/i]song for Radio 2 at those times of day when they're trying to kick the audience profile a bit younger without scaring the 35+'s. Wogan would have been all over this. Plus, it's a grower. Third time round, I thought - [i]yes[/i] - sh*t hot little song that needs a bit of TLC Detail. [b]Mix / EQ[/b] Opening acoustic guitar - nice quality tone but far too much low end. Cut some bottom out of it - it'll leave room for the bass later on. Needs widening to the edges and some frequencies cut from the middle when the vox comes in to give her some room. Again, occupies a bit too much space when the rhythm section comes in and masks the electric guitar fills. This is all about cutting some frequencies for the other instruments. The song is generally murky in the low end, plus there's some conflict going on generally - each instrument is getting in the other's way to a certain extent. Everything needs some low end taking out then put back in selectively when needed. Then get to work pulling low mids out of the acoustic during verses, choruses. (Rearranging the 'pedal steel' lines a bit might help. Many of the fills recur in the same range- also sounds quite 'round' and dark rather than 'singing' - maybe the same notes on different strings in a different position - IMO) Vocals sit on top of the backing rather than in it, thus 'seeming' too loud. Cutting some of the murk and eq'ing her some space in the instrumentation would help. Ducking the backing with a multiband compressor might help (?), but more experienced people than me would know best about this. Drums far too murky, boxy sound. For a song like this, snare needs to 'chop 'in the verse and 'whip' in the chorus. Toms need to sparingly used, but sound 'full' when they are. Reverb issues? [b]Performances[/b] Vox - I think her voice is bang on for the material and the genre. Just lovely, and there's some thought going into selling the song and the lyrics. Maybe needs to go emotionally darker in the verses, emotionally higher in the chorus. Bass - too obscured by the murk and the other instruments. Difficult to tell, but possibly a bit over-busy when following the acoustic guitar rhythm. Nothing wrong with laying back when everyone else is charging forwards. Drums - need work. As others have said - simplify the fills and get that snare in exactly the right place. Guitars - As with bass, mixed too quiet. Fills getting squashed by mix and competition with everyone else. Pedal steels can go higher, can swoop and dive. The fills here are OK but recur in the same range too often. Very, very difficult to get right and might not be improved unless you hired a steel player to do a remote session in the US (gasp). [b]Song structure[/b] YES! YES! YES! You get to the hook in 28 seconds, which is the approved duration for any good hit song in this genre. Spot on, Sir. Hook needs more lift. Two things: First - Vocal strategy. Single voice vocal [i]much [/i]too exposed on first line of chorus. Seemed to me that she comes off the back of a doubled verse into the single voice chorus. That's then supplemented by a doubled vocal on the second line of the chorus (sorry if I'm mistaken). This impedes the dynamic. Maybe try doing the last line of the verse solo (pull some of the doubling) then back into doubled vocals and support with big, big harmony backing vox. Which brings us to... Second - Chorus content - needs much more oomph. More harmony vocals. More stuff. More swoop. Snare whipping, audience rising up, etc. At this point, she should be cutting our hearts out with a tear-stained razorblade while the entire f**king world goes up in flames. Which means creating some EQ space for all this additional sh*t that's going in. And pull the acoustic guitar back a bit. Chorus needs to glide. Basic structure - like I said, it gets to the hook fast. Great. Second verse - OK. Then it all flattens off and we wait much,much too long for the outro chorus. Get to that last hook quicker - halve the verse. Then we only get it once, ya cheapskate. Double the number of choruses at the end. Give us [i]a[i]t least two choruses [/i]a[/i]t full beans then drop the song off the cliff as you (sort of) do. But lose those string squeaks, external noise, whatever at the end. Last thing we should hear should be her voice - so that it follows us around all day. [b]Lyrics[/b] Very close to right for this sort of song but verses need some standout images among the quite wordy cerebral sentiments / aspirations (not that that's a bad thing in itself). The meaning of the song is a bit oblique for me and there's nothing wrong with banging in a very 'soft' or very punchy line here and there. I'm thinking of commonplace words sort of like 'dreaming', 'yearning', 'skin', 'bitch', 'cut', 'bleeding'. Which for all I know may have been in there, but didn't get through. Very much like the way the lyrics stay off the conventional rhythmic pattern. They suit her voice too. I can imagine meeting someone like her and imagine her saying those things. She's got inside the character of the song's protagonist, but I think she might need something a little bit lyrically grittier or more 'desperate' to support some of her vocal punches. Keep writing, keep recording, keep doing stuff, then come back to this with fresh ears. It's good. Well done.

May I in turn apologise for my own unforgiveably impertinent post in the OP's original thread. I do not even have the explanation (as mentioned in passing above by others) of being either blind drunk or in a bad mood. Just being self-righteous again. Sorry.