skankdelvar

Far too many waffly 'opinions' in this thread for my liking. For those who care about the [b]TRUTH[/b], here are the plain, unvarnished, scientific [b]FACTS[/b]:

If anyone knows, it'll be Budget Bassist. I'd be interested to know too. Notwithstanding the logistical shortcomings, you can't fault her initial motivation. Frankly, I made far more mistakes at her age, without any of the good intentions.

[quote name='Clarky' post='737715' date='Feb 6 2010, 11:01 PM']Skank, you must give me the number of your bottom waxer[/quote] Howard The Bass Doc. Renowned for his world-class finishes.

I've always regretted that photo-shoot. Good money, though.

[quote name='redstriper' post='737708' date='Feb 6 2010, 10:54 PM']Wonder where that puts my two main gigging basses - both Tanglewoods, one free from freecycle and the other £23 delivered off ebay?[/quote] Basschat #1 and #2 Value For Money Award.

[quote name='AndyTravis' post='735827' date='Feb 5 2010, 09:13 AM']Why is it a 'joke'?[/quote] Slagging the ad off it isn't going to deter anyone here who fancies a go and I'm sure the management company will simply dismiss the rest of us as bitter old 'hobbyists'. Thus, no-one loses out. So.... Well, it's probably not a joke. Just emblematic of the know-nothing f***-wittery of management companies (legitimate or otherwise) who cite a ludicrously wide spread of influences then lob up a requirement to perform Busted material - a band outstanding in a field of one and already long dead. A company characterised by standards inferior to those embodied by the mighty Noble etc might fail to mention the additional requirement for such desirable qualities as: * A charming unwillingness to ask 'difficult' questions like "Can I show the contract to a solicitor" and "Where's the Merch money going?" and "Why do I have to pay you?" * A willingness to put up with suggestions like "Here's the bass line the session guy played - learn it or you're fired " and "Don't stand there, the camera will see you, move or you're fired" and "Go get some liposuction or you're fired, you donut scoffing salad dodger" * An eager readiness to be pilloried by Noel Gallagher and Sting, blanked on a daily basis by your singer (who you'd never met before you walked into the rehearsal room and he threw a mikestand at you) and asked questions like "How did you come up with the band name 'Haplessly Exploited'?" on BBC Radio Malvern's drive-home show with Colin Inchpractice and Wendy The Traffic Girl. But the latter 'stardom' only if the singer's too off his face to get out of his room at the Worcester Travelodge (for which [i]you're[/i] paying £20.00 per night accommodation deduction). * A touching desire to meet with and possibly fellate the silver-haired chairman of a sagging multinational record company to whom your managers recently emailed the following: [quote]"Haplessly Exploited aren't much cop, but you can have "X" (the act you're really after) if you sign them as well. Oh, and the two other no-hoper outfits we've got. Oh, and the tattooed singer-songwriter lady who comes into reception and cries a lot".[/quote] To which e-mail they will probably receive no reply. There's a lot to be said for being a bitter old hobbyist. We will hold the moral high ground through blood and fire. [size=1][color="#FF0000"]BTW, if Noble management need a release writer or some lyrics, PM me. OK? Nothing ventured, etc.[/color] [/size]

"Charity gig" - two little words that strike terror in the stoutest of hearts. There are two laudable aspects to this tale. First that the promoter set out with charitable intentions, notwithstanding the inexperience which led to confusion and certain [i]unwise[/i] procedural suggestions. Secondly, that Tait exercised commendable caution in the course of a deteriorating situation and elected to err on the side of prudence. Brick-lobbing old Bobs such as myself might now draw a veil over any shortcomings and instead strive to emulate the positive characteristics exhibited by both parties.

I'd flightcase the gear, whether the shed was insulated or not. Mice. But you'll still need to acclimatise your electricals before use. Mrs T's suggestion is best - put something in it that's less important than the bass gear. Maybe move the bed out there.

[quote name='Bero' post='723207' date='Jan 24 2010, 03:39 PM']wanted to switch necks with a Fender Jazz Deluxe, any thoughts on if this can be done[/quote] If they're both Fender necks ([i]edit for: and same number of frets, see post below[/i]) then they should swap over OK. First, offer the new neck up to the neck pocket to check that it fits - not too tight, not too sloppy. If that's OK, you need to check the screw holes are in the same position, as detailed above. If they aren't in the right place you'll need to fill the old holes in the neck - cocktail sticks and wood glue. Better to cut the sticks very slightly too short so they end up about .5mm inside the hole they're filling. Or you can scrape any protruding bits flush with a Stanley blade. Mark out the heel of the neck where you want the new holes to be. Drill the new holes, making sure you don't go right the way through the neck. Put the new neck in the pocket. Re-screw the neck, having dabbed a tiny drop of washing-up soap to each screw point - this lubricates the thread and makes the experience so much more rewarding. Re-string and marvel at your new axe. Check the action and intonation and discover it's slightly out because of the new neck. Sigh. Put the kettle on. Complete the task.

Here on BC - this guy's EHX Holy Grail Reverb £65.00 S/H : [url="http://basschat.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=74544&hl=holy+grail"]http://basschat.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=...p;hl=holy+grail[/url]

[quote name='Craigmartini' post='736528' date='Feb 5 2010, 06:38 PM']Not evil, just really incompetent, thoughtless, and self centered.[/quote] Wowsa! I could be a promoter! That's me to a T. This time next year, I'll be living on Eeeeeeasy Street. Bring your own f***ing beer.

[quote name='Beedster' post='736417' date='Feb 5 2010, 04:55 PM']Logically of course, if you tinker with perfection, the only possible outcome is less perfection![/quote] Exhibiting characteristic thoroughness, our German cousins have boiled this idea down to a single noun. [quote]"Schlimbesserung (n): a change made with the best of intentions which turns out to have an unwelcome downside[/quote] As in: Ernie: "My Jazz bass is a Schlimbesserung" Eric: "That's funny, I thought it was a Fender." (Wiggles spectacles up and down)

[quote name='Tait' post='736411' date='Feb 5 2010, 04:50 PM']haha i've just seen on facebook, the organiser has changed her status to "HELP! anyone know of anyone who has a drum kit i could borrow tomorrow night?! Please please please help!"[/quote] So presumably not [i]one[/i] of the other bands is in possession of a drum kit or has the logistics to get one there. Oh, I bet that would be a quality gig. Well off out of it, Tait.

As this topic sprawls on, it might be worth establishing some 'best practise' responses to these gear-sharing / pay-to-play / missing bands / missing audience / missing fee situations when they occur. Does one give in and chalk it up to experience? Or does one go in hard and demand one's due? Does it make a difference to your approach if the offender is a well-intentioned amateur who's cocked up or a slippery gobsh*te called Norrie with a fat cigar stuck out of his face?

Super-P = Standard Jazz I assume that was what was in Mr F's mind when he designed the latter.

I remember going round to someone's house to try out a bass they had for sale. Beautiful Georgian town-house, immaculately decorated and tastefully furnished. The seller told me his Uncle had been in the Navy and had brought this old Fender over from the States in the early '60's, played it twice then stuck it under the bed. Anticipating a glorious, mint Precision I opened the case. Imagine my horror. The whole thing was covered in black gunge and sticky stuff. And it absolutely reeked of pineapples.

[quote name='silddx' post='735432' date='Feb 4 2010, 07:36 PM']Ah, well now, there's a lot of history to the use of the pineapple with ham, the particular enzymes in it fights bacteria and preserves such things as ham, especially on long 18th century sea journeys to places like Hawaii.[/quote] Bilge. The place just below where they kept the pineapples. It is a matter of incontrovertible fact that [i]every[/i] pineapple in the world comes [i]from[/i] Hawaii. Hence, "long 18th century sea journeys [b]to[/b] places like Hawaii" would be pineapple-free. More likely, ships on "long 18th century sea journeys [b]from[/b] places like Hawaii" would be the ones with pineapples. On arrival in Blighty, these pineapples would then be bartered for, say, sprouts, cabbages or coconuts, which would then be used on the return journey [b]to[/b] Hawaii. I can safely say that few (if any) ships carried pineapples to Hawaii in the 18th century. Sprouts, yes. Pineapples - never. Or perhaps. But then they would be [i]returning[/i] to Hawaii, which is entirely different. It really boils my piss to a mile-high plume of steam when people get simple historical facts wrong. It's a feckless betrayal of Britain's impressionable youth. My father, Sol Hoopii, would be spinning in his grave. As he never ceased to remind me in his twilight years: [quote]"Tone is what you hear. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes you know it's good. These are two different things. Can I have a pineapple?"[/quote]

[quote name='jezzaboy' post='735177' date='Feb 4 2010, 03:57 PM']Didn`t one of their guitarist say he was popping out for something and the next time they seen him, it was 5 years later.[/quote] Every guitarist does this at some point in their life. Some do it all the time. Huw Lloyd Langton's been popping in and out of Hawkwind virtually since the start.

I've seen worse school woodwork projects. As someone who can't put a nail in straight, I'm quite impressed. YMMV.

[quote name='The Bass Doc' post='734964' date='Feb 4 2010, 12:50 PM']Quite, and the Jazz bass you were referring to?[/quote] If anyone round here is qualified to pronounce on the quality of 70's Fenders it's himself, The Bass Doc. So, Doc, I expect you had a fair few Jazzes in your hands in that decade. Care to expand?

[quote name='merello' post='734361' date='Feb 3 2010, 07:03 PM']...but basically left teles ... alone.[/quote] Sadly, the poor old Tele copped it as well, though the standard model avoided the 3-bolt neck. Change to body shape, pick-up output went down, 1k pots and horrid neck dimensions. If you're unlucky you wind up with a heavy, ice-pick Tele with an obese, blocky neck and a body that doesn't look quite right. Like my '76, bought in 1980. Hard to love, except for sentimental reasons. Frankly, my £135 Squier standard is a much nicer guitar. I also recall a '70's natural 3-bolt Jazz I played for a while in 1982. The neck shifted so much, you had to jerk it straight after every song. Nothing inherently wrong with the 3 bolt principle, but the neck pockets were cut so loose in them days it was an accident waiting to happen.

Given this is a Hawkwind tribute, you should stay 'in character'. Depart in the manner favoured by their erstwhile bass player, Mr Lemmy Kilmister. Arrive home from jail in the States, go round and shag all their wives.

Bearing in mind the potential disaster that could have ensued, all this individual has done - so far - is waste some of your time on the phone. While it's always tempting to reduce these hopeless gobsh*tes to a quivering mass of jelly, I suppose it makes sense to slide out gracefully. As someone sensibly pointed out above, the 'promoter' may be in a position to help you out at some time in the future. If not, at least they've demonstrated how [i]not [/i]to go about setting up an event, thus providing you with some pointers should you wish to self-promote at a later date. The good news is there's a better gig for you somewhere else. Enjoy.

OP - shank the 'bandleader' and nick the drummer. Go do great things. [quote name='silddx' post='733458' date='Feb 2 2010, 08:43 PM'][color="#FF0000"][size=7][b]YOU LOT! Would you like to see a Hillage Tribute?[/b][/size][/color][/quote] [color="#FF0000"][size=7]Yes. Particularly if you're playing guitar in it. Now stop shouting at us, you ancient pothead pixie[/size][/color]

It's tonyxtigers T-bird. Appeared here in Basses for sale earlier this month: [url="http://basschat.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=74197&hl=thunderbird"]http://basschat.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=...;hl=thunderbird[/url]