skankdelvar

My man Mr Shrubshaw of Savile Row has strict instructions to tailor my shorts on the rumi side. Any tighter and a pandemic of envious resentment obtains among the male populace. Anyway, that bass is brown. No more, no less.

I was thinking more of millinery. Or haberdashery. No one's going to go into a haberdasher's and say 'Good day to you, young man. I wish to purchase two hundred one-inch pins, a gross of doily edges and ... are you that Ped out of BassChat? Why, I oughta...'

Good grief. Given the historic nature of relations it would naturally be incumbent on Ped to spring upon Mr Hall in a pantherish fashion and pummel the moustachioed munter to a fine purée. Such a course of action might open Our Glorious Helmsman up to the unthinkable outcome of dismissal, criminal charges and public obloquy. On the whole, I think it would be best if @ped chose a different retail sector. One where any BassChat-related baggage wouldn't matter.

Having given the matter serious deliberation I have reached a conclusion. It is probably for the best that Messrs gear4music did not offer Mr Pedro @ped a job. Permit me to expand. * Mr Ped is an intelligent, organised individual with boundless creativity and world-class problem-solving skills. To shackle one such to an entry-level job where he would doubtless be reporting to a mouth-breathing dullard of dubious personal hygiene whose sole accomplishment is the ability to sing the company song would be an unconscionable waste of Mr Ped's talents. * IIRC, Messrs gear4music have long enjoyed (if that is the mot juste) a 'patchy' reputation on this forum. Were Mr Ped to be an employee of said company he might find his leisure hours disturbed by private messages from BassChat members the content of which communications might include but not be limited to: 'I ordered a set of 45-105 D'Adds last week. They aren't here yet. WTF not? Sort it pronto, shop boy'. I think we can imagine the damage such might do to Mr Ped's standing, based as it is on impeccable impartiality and omniscient omnipotence. His authority would be diminished; leadership rivals would fancy their chances; stillettos would be sent off for sharpening. The fabric of our community would be in clear and present danger. * Mr @ped would be forced into constant and unceasing interaction with the shopping public, a group comprised in the main of (i) ill-informed nit-wits (ii) furious complainers who when asked their name reply 'I'm Mister Smith' (iii) dopey, passive-aggressive prevaricators and (iv) sundry other filth and sweepings of the gutter. While I might wish such an outcome upon my many enemies it must be clear to all here that Mr Ped does not merit such a fate, never mind that some of those he has dispatched to Finnbass Island might disagree. * Painful though it may be we cannot avert our gaze from a possibility which would strike to the heart of the forum's rugged independence. Gear4music are Gibson stockists. Gibson not undeservedly get a hard time here on the forum, not least for their corporate shortcomings and the antics of those who run the company. Imagine that Mr Ped were working at gear4music and that the Gibson rep swung by one day and someone were to say 'Oh, this is Ped, he's just joined us. He runs BassChat, y'know' and the blood might drain from the Gibson rep's face and he might say 'Oh. BassChat. The bass forum that savagely mocks my company's senior management on the basis of their competence, their personal appearance and their dress sense? The forum that made poor Henry's life a living hell? That BassChat?' and Mr Ped would reply in the affirmative and the Gibson rep and the gear4music spod might draw off to a distance and a muttered conversation might ensue and the gear4music spod might waddle back over and say: 'Look, Ped, we need to do something about the way that BassChat's members slag Gibson off' and an uncomfortable pause might ensue, whereafter Ped might say 'I really don't know what you mean' and difficult tensions might follow. TLDR: I cannot rejoice that Mr Ped did not get the job. But it's probably just as well

Quite so. At age 14 my school music teacher pulled his annual private scam of drafting some of us into the school orchestra. This involved him renting various clapped out POS instruments out to us for a fiver a term each, all of which money went into his own pocket. I got a violin with strings so far off the board you could have used it for a cheese slicer. Naturally, I struggled. My parents were convinced that lessons were the answer so off I plodded. It did nothing for my technique but I developed a wretched set of calluses and a profound hatred for the violin. In the end I flatly refused to continue and there was a bit of a scene at school. Shame, really. It was the 1970's and with a violin I could have been a folk-rock muso and had my pick of those pale, ethereal girls who used to wear purple loons and stick a finger in their ear and warble away about faerie queens and shït like that. In such small ways are our lives changed forever.

Welcome to the forum

One time I was invited to audition for a Jam trib outfit; the audition never happened because I discovered early on that the frontman was a narcissistic, incompetent fantasist but that's another story. Anyhow, before I realised this was going nowhere I lashed out on a couple of Jam live albums and gave them some serious and prolonged ear-hole. Before I even got around to working out Foxton's parts I realised was how much he was the epicentre of the band in a live context. Weller's guitar (live) was a clangy mush of percussive power chords whereas Foxton's bass provided the melodic foundation for the songs. Weller's voice was a sort of mooing grunt whereas Foxton hit the notes, did some lovely harmonies and seemed to be doubling the lead vocal a lot of the time. OK, Weller wrote the songs, was the visual focus and - in the studio - laid down some really good stuff. In a live situation Foxton held up the lead vocal, provided the choon that went underneath it and basically held the whole thing together. Interesting. Unfashionable opinion: live, Weller could barely hack it and Foxton propped him up. Funnily enough, that was exactly the situation with the trib outfit when I unobtrusively slid in to check them out one night.

How It Works: #23 - Market Regulation CMA insists Fender cease resale price maintenance Online retailers discount the t1ts off everything Fender. Small local music shops go out of business Online retailers put their prices back up higher than they were Consumers pay more than they did before CMA pats itself on the back for a job well done CMA spod gets peerage and a consultancy gig with online retailer

The Talman is a higher quality bass than the Bronco and more versatile in the sounds department. Playing wise, the thing that swung it for me was the nut width on the Talman is 41mm whereas it's 38mm on the Bronco which I found slightly more comfortable, me having stumpy fingers and preferring a Jazz-width.

@Lako No point in persisting with full scale if your daughter finds it too uncomfortable. For one thing it could put her off and for another she might (possibly) strain a muscle. So maybe experiment with a short-scale, in which case I'd absolutely recommend the Squier Bronco - it's a short scale bass (30") designed for younger (i.e. smaller) people but perfectly playable in every other sense. Squier Bronco Broncos are nice and easy to play, very light and they sound pretty good considering the stock pick-up is basically out of a Strat. The bridge and tuners are more robust than they look and do the job fine. The wiring harness is ugly but functional. The stock strings get adverse comment so they might need to be replaced with a higher quality set. At about £150 online they're as cheap as chips and they hold their value well, going for about £100-£120 secondhand) so the depreciation is next to nothing. Better still, there's a Bronco modding community out there so when the young player outgrows the Bass she can pass it on to Dad to mess around with. If you can't live with a Bronco try an Ibanez Talman TMB30 shortscale. It's a bit better made than the Bronco but I found that the neck was a tad less comfortable in the hand. Ibanez Talman

Good to see you back here

You mean people like me who take their hand off the neck? (Narrows eyes, lights half-smoked cheroot, adjusts poncho; Ennio Morricone Spaghetti Western music plays in the background).

Congratulations

I thought it was taken before you screamed 'It's alive!' then went crazy f*cking apesh*t with a bunsen burner and a jerrycan of paraffin. The only way to move forward is to face up to the choices you've made.

First off, your problem isn't the damaged speaker. It's that you haven't got a cab for your gig tomorrow (Wed) and getting it repaired will take time. So take the pressure off yourself. First: if you're gigging with another band, contact them and ask if you can share their bass rig. Secondly, call a hire company and see if they can rent you a cab for a couple of days e.g. https://www.johnhenrys.com/ or http://www.mattsnowball.com/backline-equipment-hire-london-uk-europe/ Once you definitely know you've got a rig / cab to play through on Wednesday call a repairer at your leisure and explain the problem. Probably the quickest and easiest solution will be for the amp tech to load a new speaker unit. There's a list of BassChat member recommended amp techs here.

After about 2 minutes thought and subject to revision:

It's rather lovely, isn't it? £2.99 off Music Magpie s/h. Telemann's trumpet concerto in D Major was the reason I bought the Baroque trumpet disc. There's some other good stuff on there and three quid is nothing, really, is it? I have no excuse for the Def Leppard other than I was driving home and Let's Get Rocked came on the radio and I thought "That's a well-made record" in the sense that it was more or less a three chord song which used all sorts of production techniques and tricks of arrangement to make it interesting.

Georg Philip Telemann's Water Music Suite also known as Hamburg(er) Ebb' Und Fluth The Art of The Baroque Trumpet: Vol 1 - Various Vault: Def Leppard's Greatest Hits 1980-1995

Were Mr Van Day to take on such a task he'd need a bloomer loaf.

"This isn't a salami. This is a Teebs salami" says buxom salami expert.

Having briefly observed Mr @Teebs in the showers at the Guards Polo Club I can report that he is emphatically a him. The last time I saw anything like that was in a Salami shop.

Outstanding work, Sir

Well, Ross was never going to introduce him as 'A talentless w**ker you probably thought died years ago. So, a bit like me'.