The sound engineer shouldn't be viewed as an enemy, he's there to make your band sound as good as possible. There's nothing extra in it for him for you to sound sh*t either.
Did you talk to him, tell him about your tone, about the sound your band is going for or just say nothing, watch him set up in his own way and then complain that he didn't mind read and get the tone in your head via telepathy?
When you enter the venue, seek out the engineer, shake his hand and offer to buy him a beer. If you have a stage plan, even better, you'll make his and your evenings so much easier. You'll be amazed how receptive an engineer can be if you engage with him and if he thinks your band knows what they're doing. If he's the regular house engineer he'll know what works and what doesn't work in that particular room. Between the two of you, you can come to an understanding which benefits you both. It's so very easy.
If you just ignore him, it's no wonder that he'll just assume you're another crap band and take as many of the variables (bizarre amp settings you may have - who knows?) out of the equasion. Fighting the work the engineer is trying to do by changing volume levels on stage, moving mics, etc is unbelievably stupid and counterproductive. It's astonishing how many musicians don't reaslise that. Talk to the guy.