1) I vary my pick attack quite a lot, depending on the dynamics of the song. I'm predominantly a finger player now, but played with a pick for over twenty years.
2) Favourite plectrums are Dunlop Ultex Tri's in 0.88mm. They seem to give the perfect feel, attack and don't seem to want to slip, no matter how sweaty a gig gets.
3) I used to grip plectrums hard, almost white knuckle. That was mainly because i didn't want to lose them, and i used to play really heavy handed. Nowadays, my grip is alot lighter, and i can afford plectrums!!!!
4) When playing pick stylee, my picking hand is pretty much back by the bridge, with the heel and side of the hand resting on the strings. Doesn't seem to mute the strings too much though. Most of my damping/muting is done with my fretting hand when playing with a pick. Finger style, there's more of a mix of picking/fretting hand when muting.
Nige