[quote name='jazzyitalian' post='632044' date='Oct 21 2009, 05:41 AM']You know what brother...This really depends upon the relationship you have. Is this a wife with or without children? A live in girlfriend or just a lass you're dating?
If my wife gave me that kind of ultimatum, she would have done so with full accepance of the fact that I would have given her an ultimatum on her pricy 4-day trips to Green Bay Wisconsin with her girlfriends to see her beloved Green Bay Packers football team. So there's no way on God's green earth that she would have thrown me an ultimatum like that. But that's our deal. We get to partake in our own activities without the other running interference. In my view that's how great marriages work. It's not only about the time you spend together. But the time you spend apart doing your own thing. Everyone gets to hang onto a bit of their own identity that way.
So my view is that if someone actually received such an ultimatum from their spouse without some valid attenuating circumstances attached to it, (i.e such as small children to care for or an ailing parent to watch over) then I would suggest there is possibly a deeper set of problems trancending your gigs. It could be jealosy or mistrust on a different level.
If it's just a girlfriend asking you to do this, then you might as well move on. There is nothing at stake here anyway. She's not going to change and when you marry her it's unlikly that she will ever be understanding. As a matter of fact, it'll probably get worse.
If on the otherhand it's your wife asking you to do this, then I would hope there to be a good reason behind the request. (ie. That gigging significantly compromised my ability to be a contributing parent)
If there isn't, then you tell her you're going to gig because that IS who you are; that IS who she married, and that she is more than welcome to join my wife on her next all ladies trip to Green Bay Wisconsin.[/quote]
You sir, speak very wisely.