Barking Spiders

Ah, remember them good old days of going through the musicians/bands wanted ads at the back of Melody Maker. I'd make a habit of auditioning for bands that were quite well known at the time just for the hell of it, knowing that was as close to being a rock star as I'd ever get. It became crystal clear I just didn't look the part . At the time I was a pretty decent drummist and not butt ugly but in the late 80s image was pretty much order of the day and I just looked well, uninteresting I spose. I wasn't 'glamorous' in a Duran kinda way and I wasn't seedy, dirty rock n' roll incarnate like Guns n Roses. Doesn't anyone else think that had they looked more the part, they might now be sunning themselves at their £10m beach hideaway in the Seychelles ?

Great to see ToP on British TV for the first time I guess. They've still got it. And great, just what the world needs, Snow Patrol back with a new album. As for the rest, well hmm, meh about sums it up

+2 and let's make sure it's always being bumped to stay on the first page and just to make sure, here's a bona fide gem of 80s soul-funk. Simply the mutts nuts.

In my band experience, most of the fights and sex are on stage

Bit of classic House with a summery vibe going on

That makes perfect sense although my approach is from the other end. I know the stuff I'd like to play in a band and so have around 100 bass lines off pat. If a prospective band's repertoire doesn't include at least half them I wouldn't wanna be in it anyway. I've no interest in playing anything I wouldn't choose to listen to. Just as well I've never wanted to pursue a career as a session player

I've never measured them but I know the necks on mine aren't short. Short scales aren't right for me even though I've hands like a marmoset. Don't like the way they look generally.

This was equally overlooked at the time too

Used to fookin' love this back in the day. Still do!

particularly like the first track. She's got a lovely set of pipes and a bit fit looking n' all!!

Names like A**l C**t, Throbbing Gristle, B***hole Surfers, Revolting C**ks, Johnny & The Self Abusers etc are at least gonna get you googling! Well I would as I'm a tad infantile

Ain't that the truth. I've been permanently put off quite a few bands/artists I'd previously liked only to find they were utter tools.. Viz the 'The' thing I have a particular loathing for anything classified as 'indie' after about 1988 and lo and behold most indie bands, esp the toot derided as 'landfill indie, have had 'The as a prefix e.g. The Cribs, The Kooks, The Automatic, The Libertines, The Kaiser Chiefs, The Wombats, The Fratellis, The Pigeon Defectives, The Hoosiers, The Libertines (these need repeating), The Enemy, The Maccabees. I rest my case. . Admittedly there were also dire landfill indie bands without a 'The' prefix e.g. Scouting for Girls and Razorlight.

Daft or unreasonable it maybe but if I'm unfamiliar with a band's music, the name will often be a deal breaker, a bit like a person's looks. In the long run it's not important but to grab the attention I think it is. If I see a CD by or gig ad for a band that's called 'The ...' (whatever , although come to think of it 'The ....' is quite good!). On the flipside, an interesting or unusual name will lead me to check out the music. Now, just before anyone mentions 'The B' word, I' ll say of course there are always a few exceptions to the rule. From my own CD collection i think there are only around half a dozen bands with 'The'.

As a mahoosive fan of funk, I'm interested to hear what other mega-fans would list as their top 10. I know it could be fluid but there's sure to be some evergreens that you've always loved. To get the ball rolling, in no particular order, at the mo' mine would probably be.. I get high on you - Sly Stone East River - Brecker Brothers For the love of money - O'Jays City, country, city (album version) - War Bus Stop -Fatback Band Hollywood swinging - Kool and the Gang Who says a funk band can't play rock - Funkadelic Pick up the pieces - Average White Band Shaft - Isaac Hayes Serpentine Fire - Earth Wind and Fire

I like muchly though in 2014 Squarepusher released this, all played by robots

+ 1 for #2. For me the age thing is not so much a demographic issue as having same music reference points. I wouldn't be interested in playing funk with younger geezers who think Uptown Funk is where it's at but who've never heard of Parliament or Sly Stone

Many peeps will think me fussy but bands are like women. I'd rather be without than with wrong 'uns. The first filter is demographic; they need to be relatively local to me and similar age group Next, is there any existing band or other peeps who play or want to play my kinda stuff but only on a fun basis. This is my sticking point as I'm only interested in playing dance based stuff, - mostly covers - mashing up 70s funk, 90s House, 80s hip hop , bits of drum n bass etc Then it's the big one. Are they good, fun , easy going people. Any sign of egos and that's it. Finally, if I did strike lucky then we'd decide on what gigs to do. I'm more inclined to sticking to once or twice a month and not travelling too far to gigs, an hour's drive or so.

I've sold off a fair few instruments in my time and don't regret getting rid of any of the 5 basses. However, i wish I hadn't sold my white, US made Tele on EBay though i got a good auction price for it. Also regret selling a really good pair of Toca congas. Times were hard then and I needed the cash to pay of debts.

Is there a function for deleting one's own posts here. I cant seem to find one?

In addition to the 100 funk/disco songs I mentioned, I can also play the basslines to around 200 AC/DC and Status Quo songs each ...and I've only ever actually heard their bigger hits.

In guess we're all talking about basslines here in which case we all probably can play upwards of a 1,000

I put about a 100 though I've forgotten a lot as well as I don't like /play them anymore. Bass-wise my preference is for playing funk & disco and 80s pop/synth & post punk so I made I made a point of nailing many of the 'classics' that any funk-tion band would probably play. I

For me living under rock would've been the preferable option. My missus likes Muse as does my eldest sprogette. I think I might have to trade both of them in. I think it's safe to say probably 99.999% of under 30s won't know who Rush or Yes are. A fraction more may've heard of LZ cos their dads have an old copy of Houses of The Holy lying about but I doubt most could name a single track. I'd also never heard of Kings X until now. I Wiki'd them but I'll be going no further.

I get the impression that in the UK for the majority of adults going to any event it's less about the actual entertainment being put on and more about getting s***faced. Does'nt matter whether it's Glastonbury, Cheltenham Gold Cup week, Wimbledon Fortnight or local festivals, two weeks in Ibiza or nights down the boozer , the sport or music is just a sideshow.

or rather 'itth a mythstery'