Monkey Steve

I tend to agree with @Ricky 4000 that it's a bit/lot like breaking up with a girlfriend - it does feel very personal, both the sacking and the being sacked. I've certainly had people react badly to being sacked and then spent a lot of time slagging me off and avoiding me. In my example, it wasn't the sacking itself that was a big issue, it was more that I thought that the band would be on my side of the argument, after all we'd all come from another band together, so it was a bit of a kick to the plums to be told that no, actually they'd rather stick with this other bloke's very different/dull music. There's a lot to be said for making it less personal, that it's purely about being a good fit for the band...though that's not half as much fun as telling the annoying band member exactly what you think of him as you swing the axe. But the best band I was ever in from that point of view was the one that sorted all of the music stuff out very loudly and rudely in the studio: don't like something, tell the rest of the band exactly why, argue over it as and when it occurs and get it sorted out rather than stewing over it - that's when it becomes personal. We always left the studio as good mates, ready to go to the pub together. In the OP's case, the fact that they already have a replacement says that they've been stewing over it for a while, rather than trying to fix it by discussing it like grown ups.

Off topic, but we've had a similar issue at work with a policy around "agile working". Since them half the team have been taking advantage of the bits of the policy which suit them (like, say, you can leave at 4.30), and completely ignoring the parts which don't (like, say, if you leave at 4.30 you need to make up your hours elsewhere in the week). Whenever they get picked up on it, the same two defences are rolled out: "the policy isn't clear" (points to sentence in the policy that says hours need to be made up) "well nobody ever said anything about that before" So expecting anybody to read stuff is way too optimistic, and for any changes at work we now have to have a meeting to explain everything, and the policy is a reference document in the background that can be referred to (but rarely is)

The one time I got sacked was something very similar. me, drummer and vox had left another band to form a new one, the singist had a mate who played guitar...who promptly took the band in a completely different direction. He didn't like the stuff I wrote (that was kind of Killing Joke play thrash metal), I certainly didn't like the very dull stuff he wrote (that was more Dire Straits play Chris Rea) and in general I thought he was a bit of a bellend who treated us as his backing band and dismissed anything that the rest of the band suggested. Especially my "over-complicated bass playing". It very clearly wasn't working... The sacking itself couldn't have been better handled. Vocalist comes round to my house, explains that it's clear that the band isn't working, so they're going to carry on without me. The vocalist could also play a bit of bass, so I assume that it was intended that he would take over. What made everything much easier was that they had failed to discuss this with the drummer prior to sacking me, and, not being a fan of the guitarist's either, he declined to continue. So they never got as far as having another rehearsal, whereas before too long another guitarist mate of mine contacted me and suggested forming a new band now that i was at a loose end... So, take it on the chin, count yourself lucky to be out of a band that wasn't what you'd been sold to begin with, and carry on with something new.

as an aside, Mr McCormack is the organiser of Camden Rocks. I wasn't aware of this until a mate of mine who was working as crew this year pointed it out...I then went drinking with the mate as his shift had finished and I'm a bit vague on whether I actually saw McCormack playing the Underworld with The Professionals

Tried this a couple of times, and on both occasions the band has run out of steam after four or five hours, and emerged broken from the studio, back into daylight like combat veterans with thousand yard stares. We actually found them much less productive than the usual three or four hour sessions

I used to play in a band with a drummer who had been a musician in the RAF. During combat they would be stretcher bearers, so they had to stay fit and trained to a degree, but most of his day was spent rehearsing. He was very, very good. Not much formal training in the indy/punk/metal that we were doing, but he did spend a lot of time playing in the RAF jazz band

I've seen them at a couple of festivals - there's definitely a whiff of creepy uncle about a big chunk of the crowd

a mate of mine is in a semi-pro band. their gig selection is almost purely financial - their minimum price for a gig is £X, which in most cases will pay for the van hire, hotels and any extras, but doesn't leave them with a lot of money left over for themselves. Semi-pro is far more about their attitude than their income £X tends to determine the type of venues that they will play, and they have a name so they'll typically get a big enough crowd in to justify the gig, although they do still get promoters who assume that the band will do all the promotion required by mentioning it on Facebook. They will deviate from £X if they can see a longer term benefit to the band - expanding their audience by playing at a festival that isn't exactly their genre, or playing a prestige venue/festival But not for them the four hour sets to three people in the Dog & Duck, so they are quite fortunate.

good advice from @Jakester - decide what you want to do and go looking for that, and don't waste months of your life doing anything you're not enjoying that won't get you there. So if you want to play originals, don't apply for covers bands (although they will probably get more gigs), etc. That said, you may need to compromise - you may not find exactly what you want to be doing, but as long as what you find is within the Venn diagram of stuff you like then that's OK. If you're really at a point where you want to be on stage, aim for the bands that are already gigging and need a replacement bass player - you are the solution that they are looking for. Nothing against bands who are new, need a bass player and aim to be up and gigging ASAP...just be prepared to join some that never quite manage get on to the stage, and you may need to cut your losses and move on. Difficult to assess those in the second category and there isn't one way to make sure that you've picked a winner, but my suggestion would be to look for a band with a strong Band Leader who has a realistic plan and the necessary contacts to put the plan into action. While it's nice to be looking for global domination within six months, try and avoid bellends who tell you how the World is just waiting for them to unleash their musical genius and that you'll be selling out the O2 before Christmas. And anybody who refers to the band as a "project" As regards the quality of your amp, depending on the band you join this may or may not be an issue. 100W may well be enough for rehearsals and some gigs (and other band members rarely have any idea about bass amps and concepts like head room), but a lot of rehearsal studios will have amps thrown in, and a lot of venues will expect to DI you through the PA so you won't need any amp and you may actually be far better off getting an amp sim pedal than investing in a mountain of backline. Not so common on the pub covers circuit. You won't know until you start discussing things with bands, so have a chat with them to see what they are expecting

Two points, one in favour of those asking questions (well, more a defence) and one against (well, more of a rant) In favour/defence, while I'm the same as you and wouldn't start asking questions until I was sure I'd got everything I can gather for myself, sometimes it's not as easy to understand for a novice. While the mandolin owner should probably have led with that, he may well not have been well versed in any of the stuff that you see as being stupid questions and hasn't been able to follow the technical stuff that he has been able to find out. And sometimes buyers just want some extra reassurance before they part with their hard earned cash - I recently sent a "stupid" message to a seller on Discogs, to make absolutely sure that the record I wanted to buy from him was definitely the one he was saying it was, because if he's cut and pasted the wrong ASIN and he's actually got a different version of the same album then I'd be massively overpaying for the LP in question. So the potential buyer asking for confirmation that the only ever made in Germany model of that bass was actually made in Germany might simply be after reassurance that there isn't some Korean made version that they didn't know about until they find themselves unpacking one. Against...as a man of a certain age I do find that there is a massive difference between how I communicate and how millennials and kids communicate. While it's not fair to tar everybody with the same brush (and I have plenty of examples of millennials who are nothing like this) the worst of them don't seem to be able to do anything for themselves, and need to be spoon fed. A recent example was a friend telling me that her daughter, a recent graduate, received a tearful phone call from a uni friend (also a recent graduate) who was in bits because the power lead to her laptop had stopped working and her father was too busy to help her buy a new replacement. Without her laptop she had no life, and why was her father being so unutterably cruel to her? How could she possibly cope without her laptop? The daughter, being a bit more self reliant, replied that actually it's fine, tells her just to pop into town and get a new laptop power lead from Currys or Argos, she doesn't need someone to help her with that. The tears stop and the friend's world is now alright...but why has nobody ever explained to her how to do that before now? I have a much longer rant about certain millennials that I have to work with, who have no idea that, for instance, when they are supposed to be working they cannot also be watching Love Island on their phones and texting their mates about what's happening, and when you pick them up for doing it are genuinely surprised because nobody ever told them that they shouldn't do that in the office. Add to this that they live in a digital world where they don't actually speak to each other very much - friends with teenage kids tell me that their offspring never leave the house to go and play or hang out with their mates like we used to do back in the day, but as far as they are concerned they are still "with" their mates, just on some social media platform. The millennials at work tell me that they have fully "discussed" work issues when despite sitting opposite each other they haven't actually said a word out loud, they've sent messages, and they are extremely reluctant to ring anybody to ask a question when they can e-mail it instead. So while I'm saying this is a rant against them, in fact they probably see me as a complete dinosaur who is making them do stuff like talking out loud when there's no real benefit to them in doing it. And they may be right. So, back to the point, they don't see asking a load of stupid questions as any sort of intrusion or inconvenience to you, they see it as having a conversation, and asking you is no different to googling it and doing some research if they get the same answers, in fact it's probably better because you can tell them about where the bass was made and whether it's got a piezo. Of course, some people are just annoying idiots. Add to that the anonymity of the internet, where there are no consequences for a bit of trolling and wasting other peoples time...

i did have a perforated eardrum, but when i was a really small child, not recently. My memories are only of being in a huge amount of pain, but on the plus side when it healed i was fine and there was never any lasting damage

I don't follow. You not being in the band doesn't mean that the wife can't continue, or that they can't use the PA or the rehearsal space. More of an issue for the band should be how you withdraw from playing gigs. A drummer mate of mine managed his (not for the same reasons, he was moving to a completely different area) by putting a firm end date on his playing, and telling the band to start getting his replacement up and running ASAP. There was a long enough hand over period where the band could still book new gigs and he'd play them, but they knew that had to get something sorted out in advance. He did his bit by helping his replacement learn the set, and in the end handed everything over well in advance of his original departure date, with everybody happy. Though I do agree that it might be easier if your wife wasn't in the band. probably best to start discussing things with her first, to make it clear that you're really not enjoying it and want to stop, but want to make sure that she can still continue doing it. Would she really want you to keep doing something that makes you miserable?

hmmm From your perspective, if it's not making you happy, don't do it. S'fine. I have a very different perspective, but we're all different and that's what makes the World an interesting place But also think of it from the band's perspective. I've been in bands where one band member has not enjoyed gigging, or hasn't wanted to do as much of it as the rest of us, or doesn't want to play gigs more than half an hour from their front door, or has come up with cunning excuses of why the band isn't really to play gigs. And it's never ended well, even when they've reluctantly played the gigs - the whining about every little thing that didn't go right is really tedious and spoils what everybody else is getting out of it. Don't become that guy. So I'd suggest letting them know that you're really not enjoying it and then give them the option to find a replacement. Drop out gracefully

has any of the band already got insurance for any of their instruments? Before you pay more for a specific policy, check whether that gives the band some public liability cover - seems to come as standard, but as ever, check the small print to see whether it applies for the band as a whole or just for claims relating to the insured gear

I would need to check in the loft to see if I did actually throw out the now 31 year old tin of FastFret that I got when I got my first guitar at 19 (I already had a bass at 18). I just threw out the strap they I bought at the same time when I got my Rickenbacker (which I still have, and it was 13 years old then) but I still have the Jim Dunlop strap locks - bit battered by time but still working fine. So 31 year old strap locks

5 always 5

5, the answer is 5, always. 5 For the string spacing, Wawick's standard is 19mm for a 4 and 16.5mm for a 5 but goes up to 20mm for a broad neck 5

as did Pete Stevens when I bought a Wal from him in 1999...

There can be a difference on Same Day delivery items with Amazon charging more if you want it today...I would look for an example but it's after midday so they're not being shown. But I recall reading an article on it somewhere that showed there were separate listings for the one day delivery options with slightly higher prices, and when I checked it was true One thing i do like on the marketplace listings is that they are listed in order of total costs, so anybody offering a lower base price but higher shipping will get pushed down the list accordingly. I also find it slightly amusing that competing retailers will trim a penny off their price to get a boost up the listings

see here: https://blogs.quickheal.com/quikr-scam-alert-beware-of-the-distance-buyers-scam/ and here: https://startsat60.com/discover/lifestyle/style/the-gumtree-scam-catching-out-innocent-sellers

It's not necessarily the "have it tomorrow" aspect of that which appeals to me, but the "arrange which day you want to have it, including the weekend". I'm not often at home during the working week, and deliveries from other companies usually end up with a trip to the post office. Amazon lets me arrange for everything to be delivered on a day when i will actually be in. For me that is a major selling point

Have to say, my experience of Amazon's customer service is uniformly excellent, particularly for stuff that they are selling me direct (rather than from third party) - replacements sent out straight away (with the threat that they will charge you again if you don't send back the original item), and if it's low value quite often they'll just tell you to keep or dispose of the original faulty/incorrect item. I've also had more than a few instances of £10 credits where I kick up a stink for a delivery slot being missed...you do need to kick up a stink though. The fact that I can order what I want at typically low prices and they'll deliver it at my convenience means that Amazon tends to be my default place to start looking for anything i want to buy. Vinyl is one exception where I'll shop around (and annoying as it is to not be able to pre-order or get stuff on line for a week, I do applaud Record Store Day for keeping their releases out of Amazon's clutches...until the Marketplace sellers start listing their left overs) and won't buy from them unless they are the cheapest seller, but the returns process and the fact that they don't add on postage charges means that they're still in with a reasonable chance of getting my order. That said, the website seems designed to make it as difficult as possible to actually make a complaint - directing you to a standard returns process, and restricting your options to deviate from that, and hiding how to make contact with CS direct. Current issue is a faulty vinyl copy of The Bends. Started the returns process and Amazon had a replacement with me the next day. Albeit with the threat that unless I send the faulty copy back by the middle of July they'll charge me for the replacement. Faulty copy dropped off for a Hermes return the next day (last Sunday)...website shows it as not having yet been received, and the main returns page doesn't give me any further options. Going into a separate returns page lets me track the package...which falls over and tells me that somethings wrong...do I want to continue shopping? So off to the well hidden page to send an e-mail to CS asking where it's got to given that I dropped it off a week ago. For musical gear, I'll stick to small stuff like strings if there's a significant saving (and for the bigger stuff, i can't remember seeing a listing for any instrument or amp that I was interested in where it was actually in stock - lots of listing for everything but nothing they ever actually seem to have), but actually they usually come from third party sellers and if it's a shop I know and trust I'll often go straight to their website and order direct. For the slightly more expensive stuff, like pedals, I tend to see what the price is on Amazon, which sellers have it for the cheapest price, and then go and order it from Andertons because they're always close enough and have next day delivery.

as an aside, I do quite often toy with the idea of getting a dirt cheap instrument on eBay, just to try something new, the idea being that I can always upgrade to a better one if I take to it but avoid having chucked a load of cash at something I didn't really get on with it A sixer would probably fall into that category (also an 8 string (2x4) or a fretless)

yes. Technically the winning bid is legally binding and there isn't a way to just pull out of the purchase. However, if you don;t pay it won't be worth the bidder taking you to court, especially if you don't pay because you don't have the money - what would they expect to gain from it? Apparently it's the same for real auction houses - they rarely pursue non-payers. So really the worst is a non-payment strike to let other sellers know that you can't be trusted

I think we need to see the bass to judge If it's a Fender Bass VI in mint condition then well done If it's a chinese knock off with the headstock hanging off then you might need to suck it up and make it an amusing tale to tell your bandmates